Plated meals or family-style?

[JungleGiraffe]

I grew up with meals being plated in the kitchen by whoever cooked and then brought out to the table. DH grew up in the Netherlands and always did "family-style" where serving dishes are brought out to the table and everyone helps themselves.

AIBU to think family-style is stupid? It causes food waste because you have to make extra because can't predict how much people will take. & it causes over-eating because people keep eating until they're stuffed rather than until their plate is empty. & it wastes time because you need to carry more to the dining room and back (sometimes when we have breakfast at the in-laws there'll be 30 different things on the table!)

Always candles and linen napkins though

I draw the line at putting saucepans on the table!

To the PPs who ask how people cope in a Restaurant - in most of the proper Restaurants I have been to, they serve the main ingredient on your plate, e,g, steak. Vegetables and sauces are usually presented separately in dishes/sauceboats on the table. At least, that is what I am used to.

I agree that in pubs, it is unusual to be served vegetables separately and everything is usually plonked on your plate with no choice.

I know which I prefer!

I’m guessing the people who have never heard of food being served on a plate have never eaten out. Poor wee souls.

I don't get this comment. In restaurants, food is served in exactly the way we serve at home ie the vegetables are brought to the table in separate dishes. Unless we're talking about Pizza Express type places.

Oh dear god.

Yeah see we wouldn’t want saucepans and pots, oven trays etc on the table. Firstly it doesn’t look nice but also our table’s too small. The exception being we use Le Creuset and other cooking or bakeware which is nice to look at.

How is pasta served in a restaurant??

Much prefer family style, we mostly eat rice and side dishes so each have a small bowl of rice and then share lots of different side dishes, always find it reduces the food waste as we can fridge whatever is left over Vs if it had been on a plate

I dish up an amount that my family normally eat. If they’re still hungry they can go back into the kitchen and serve up some more. They rarely do this but if it’s on the table they’re more likely too as it’s more tempting.

To

With toddlers and young children, if you’re serving them you generally know what they will eat and what they won’t eat much of, and how much they’re likely to want. If they’re not so hungry and don’t eat it all, that’s fine. If they’re hungrier than usual and want more, that’s fine too. It’s really not complicated...

And my children, once they were properly weaned and used to eating, always ate the same food as us, with very rare exceptions.

Serving dishes here. I don't know how hungry other people are, they need to decide that. We don't pile our plates up, you put some on, eat it, decide if you could eat some more and if so, add more. Ime it means less waste/overeating than choosing someone else's portion.

I always make more than I expect will be eaten because leftovers in the serving dishes just go in the fridge for the next day's lunch/dinner and by not piling up the plates in the first place people don't have more than they can eat in front of them.

If I'm doing "family style", food would be decanted into bowls. I can't stand seeing saucepans in the middle of a table.

For this reason I often plate up for the family whilst in the kitchen. There is often seconds if necessary. Would never do this for guests though.

I’m guessing the people who have never heard of food being served on a plate have never eaten out. Poor wee souls.

I love bitchy comments like that by people miffed that others might have other preferences

Since daughter started to eat, I've always put vegetables in bowls on the table at meal times, so she can help herself to what she wants and in the quantities she wants - although she tends to eat them on their own nowadays after she's eaten whatever's on her plate! Tends not be be any waste as I know how much will be eaten, and then if there are any veg left, it gets eaten at some point!

Its BIT weird that the "family style" people think dishing up for your own family members is "controlling"!
I know what my immediate family like, and roughly how much to give them and they can help themselves to more if they want to.
If I had extended family over I would put serving dishes on the table, for most things, but the people I live with? I don't get what the big deal is!
Also, "Family style" is an American term, used to describe the kind of restaurants where they put dishes on the table for you to serve yourself, and plating up is also a restaurant term..who uses these in their own homes? MN is so odd sometimes.

A bit of both - depends what we are eating. I’ll often serve part of the meal straight onto plates and then have sides/veg etc in the middle, or serve first helpings and leave the rest in the middle. Sometimes I will do something completely family style, especially for a roast and always with guests. I often serve the kids up their first serving just to help them with their portions

We have an obesity crisis in this country so I don't think there's anything wrong with providing my family with sensible portions

We have an obesity crisis in this country where people plate up, unlike any other country I know where food is put on the table and people learn to eat sensible amounts.

We always put the dishes food was cooked in on the table for people to have what they like. We start small and go back for more if we want it. Plating up makes me think there's not enough to go round so it has to be allotted in the kitchen.

Well sometimes, for a lot of people, there is only just enough to go round! Not everyone has more than plenty of everything.

Its BIT weird that the "family style" people think dishing up for your own family members is "controlling"!grin

I’m quite sure only a few people have said that.

We do both depending on what we are eating.

Surely this line should have been on the first page and everyone could have agreed.

Food meanness, controlling behaviour, eating disorders, food waste, penis portions etc. etc. are Bad Things that aren’t automatically a consequence of either approach.

"AIBU to think family-style is stupid?"

Yes.

Heh I just realised I said Germany earlier in the thread when it should have been the Netherlands.

Food meanness, controlling behaviour, eating disorders, food waste, penis portions etc. etc. are Bad Things that aren’t automatically a consequence of either approach.

Yes.

And on a related note, penis portions do make some sense in certain circumstances, and more so in the past, which is where that way of thinking likely comes from. But then pregnancy/breastfeeding portions make sense too, as do low carbing portions, teenage boy portions, sporty girl portions or any number of variations. What’s absolutely wrong is the idea that a man deserves more, or the best portion, simply by virtue of being the owner of a penis. It’s the attitude behind it that stinks - all hail the mighty penis 🙄🙄 and the head of the household malarkey. Fuck that shit. But hmmm that’s a discussion for another thread.

Always plate up in the kitchen. It's how it was done when I was a kid, and honestly it's never occurred to me to do it differently!

We do a mixture of both depending on the meal.

If it's just the 4 of us (me, dh, 2 older teens) I tend to cook it, leave it in the pans and then just call them to help themselves in the kitchen when they are ready to eat.

For guests I might plate the main component and put the extras on the table for them to help themselves.

With two strapping great starving teens I very, very rarely have to throw food away though.