Is this a normal financial arrangement for a married couple?

[HarlinRay]

My husband and I are buying a house finally (unoccupied, no need to move until after lockdown as our current lease doesn't expire until October) for cash. We have a shared bank account for household expenses, but separate bank accounts/ISAs/investments. 60% of the money for the house is from my husband's named accounts and 40% is from mine. I assumed we would have a joint tenancy, but he has just said he would rather have a tenancy in common with a percentage interest in the property of 60/40 to reflect our respective investments, with wills to state that we would inherit the other's share. He has said that if we were to divorce, that it's only fair that we only get the percentage we put in upon selling the house or if one of us buys the other out.

I am honestly a little shocked and I'm not sure how to feel about this. Just as a bit of background

-we've been married nearly 15 years
-90% or more of the money we both have has been earned during our marriage (no inheritances or anything like that)
-we both work full time. For most of the first half of our marriage he earned twice as much as me, but I've nearly caught up now
-No living children. Our daughter died at 18 months old near the beginning of our marriage and we were never able to have more children.
-He saves more than me each month, but I pay for almost all of the household expenses, bills, subscriptions, holidays, and council tax (we split the rent). This has always been the case even when I earned much less than he did. I never thought twice about it because I thought he was saving for us, not for himself.

I think I assumed that legally, money earned during the marriage was 'matrimonial assets' (or something similar) but I've been consulting google and there seems to be conflicting information.

So I guess my question has two parts - is this even legal, and would it stand up if we divorced? Not just the house - but our pensions, savings, etc (he has twice as much in savings and investments as I do) And on a non-legal basis, is this normal for married couples who are buying a home together?

Are there other issues in the marriage?

In a divorce a split would likely to be 50:50 but I would be suspect he would hide finances as it is surprising that you don't know how much savings he has.

You need to stop paying all the bills NOW.

You need to discuss this with him and point out you’ve been paying more.

Push for 50-50.

I’m sorry you’ve been getting shafted.

It is not how my marriage works. We are a financial unit. Sometimes I earn more. Sometimes he does. Sometimes I spend more. Sometimes he does. It is all our money.

I pay most of the bills and dh does the savings. The difference is that he saves 50% in my ISA and an equal amount in his ISA - so end of the day we both have savings in our names.
And he pays for holidays and extras that we, as a family, use.

Not sure what to say - but a 60:40 split definitely is not right after 15 years of marriage!

Sorry for your loss

It's awful that you've been made to rent for 15 years until you could afford to buy a house outright.
It's very unusual to not get a mortgage. Are you unable to get a mortgage? Hope you don't mind be asking but it's very peculiar.

If you were paying bills so that he could save then it's your money too.

Just to add to that, I was a SAHM for about 8 years and he was splitting the ISAs/savings 50:50 then too.

What a horrible shock. You’ve been married so long and through so much and you find out he sees things so differently to you. I don’t think his proposal is normal in the slightest. If he views those savings as his turn you need to revisit your finances entirely and either merge (like you thought) or he needs to reimburse you for all those expenses you have coveted while he was saving for himself.

Covered! Not coveted!

He's been enabled to save the deposit as a result of YOU paying more of the bills and expenses.

I'd be adding this all up and giving him a spreadsheet which maps out exactly how much HE OWES YOU for the extra in expenses, rent and bills. Then you can suggest 70/30 in YOUR favour and see how he likes that. He's a major cf op.

I agree with PlywoodPlank.

Insist on an even split of all savings and pension amounts now, and then reconsider your marriage as you go forward.

He is absolutely taking the piss acting like he saved hard while you were a spender ... paying his fucking share of the bills!

If you split the arrangement would go out of the window anyway as the courts can make property orders. Your DH sounds selfish

He's a real CF. What does he pay for exactly.
Refuse the 60/40 , as lots of others have said , explain he's only managed to save so much because you've subsidised him for years.
Good luck.

@Bookoffacts until less than 5 years ago we lived in a country where buying isn’t as common as it is in the UK. Long term renting is the norm and rented homes are sometimes passed down in families. We only moved back to the UK a couple of years ago when both of our companies fully embraced distance working.

How did your chat go Harlin did he see sense?

Sometimes people just need the obvious pointing out to them, I hope that's how it went!

God no OP, this isn't on. Did you speak to him

Urgh. Meanness is so unattractive.