To wonder what 'the spirit of mumsnet' is.

[Carbosug]

I see threads with vile ganging up, spiteful personal remarks and deliberate distortions of what the op said being allowed stand time and time again. Simultaneously fairly innocuous threads are removed because they're not in the spirit....

AIBU to wonder what exactly is the spirit of mumsnet because it doesn't seem to be very clear?

Thanks Barracker and Fudge

I was thinking a Trolley of GFs myself, but wank also seems apposite.

I don't think the pandemic is bringing out the best in the forum, but perhaps that's true in multiple places on the internet? I've always enjoyed the funny threads that end up in the classics thread, though.

Some MN posts/posters/phrases are ridiculous. And often very funny. Some posters are just mean or rude. However one of the things I love most about MN is precisely that. It seems to me (just my perception of it) that it's still mostly women, so a place where women can have a conversation (because the conversation does change when more men are involved) and just say what they think / what they want, without being overly policed for it / feeling they have to play nice all the time, because that's 'what women are supposed to do'. Yes, some comments are mean and rude - some people are. That's life. I like that people feel they can be sweary or angry or whatever they feel. Overall on balance I think it's very supportive. And often witty and irreverent as someone else has said.

Oh, and being a MN sort of feminist, as opposed to the 'right sort of feminist', I genuinely feel it's one of the few places on The Internet where women can have an actual conversation about trans rights / women's rights without being shouted down and called a transphobe.

Collective nouns - A bunfight of GFs?

How I experience MN

How others experience MN

I work in IT/tech and I've been online for longer than some MNers have been alive. Females are always targeted in male forums. Either hit on and sleazed at or hounded and harassed. Lots of female in tech get doxxed and harassed, even stalked irl

We may be of similar vintage and that is my experience also. I've lost count of the times I've experienced or seen this and I've been stalked more than once.

This is simply not true[that Reddit is still male heavy]

Reddit's own demographics and surveys disagree with you. It is still predominantly male, white and broadly the younger end of the demographics.

Thanks for the reply @hebemumsnet.

However I have once or twice reported posts that were abusive or really nasty and got the response that although it's not on the spirit of mumsnet it's not in breach of guidelines so will be let stand.
Then I see threads being removed because they're apparently not in the spirit of mumsnet.

There do seem to be any consistency.

I genuinely feel it's one of the few places on The Internet where women can have an actual conversation about trans rights / women's rights without being shouted down and called a transphobe.

Except that when someone wants to join the discussion and their opinion isn't the same opinion as the majority they get piled on and insulted. That's not really called having an actual conversation, is it?

It is still predominantly male, white and broadly the younger end of the demographics.

OK, but the subreddits I mentioned, are not. They are women's spaces and the discussions are about women's issues. You can enjoy multiple subreddits without having to be a part of any communities you don't want to. And I know how much mumsnetters hate men, so as long as you choose the best subreddits for you, you can avoid those pesky men.
Those demographics are also a result of the sheer size of reddit, which is huge in comparison to Mumsnet and its international, where here is predominantly UK based (with a few exceptions). You really can't compare the two

I ate half a Papa John’s pizza. I expect to be publicly shamed

A wank of goadyfuckers

I imagine there a lot of posters who are just here for the laughs.

You really can't compare the two

I wasn't, you were.

And to pre-empt your next assumption, yes I do know reddit well, I was modding subs there in its first incarnation and still do on a couple of the larger subs in the current incarnation.

I see MN as a place where I am free to speak my mind, have a big of a debate and a bit of banter.
See how others live.
A place where I can ask for advice and occassionally offer advice if it's something I have experienced of.
I think we are quite an intelligent bunch on the whole, but I wish it was a more mixed demographic.
I've been here since early 2000's and it was awful then. Very snobby and quite a few bullies.
Overall MN has made my life richer.
Go on then, laugh at me, you nest of vipers.

And what is the collective name for a group of handmaidens?

Greyt, I stated Reddit is still male heavy

You: This is simply not true.

Google estimate (through targeted advertising stats) that Reddit is 74% male. Reddit state that 15% of US males and 8% of US females use Reddit daily, so unless the rest of the world behave in an entirely different manner, it would suggest that Reddit is in fact, as I stated, heavily male.

MNers do not on the whole hate men. I've no idea where you get that idea. Most of us live with a man, and many many MNers are mother's of boys who will become men.
I can only speak for myself- I do not hate men in any way. I just value having a female-led forum in which to chat about whatever I wish.

MNers do not on the whole hate men. I've no idea where you get that idea

You can seriously not see the vile things that's spouted about men on here? So many thread gets started with a title along the likes of "To think all men will cheat" or "All men are useless" being mentioned loads. Plus God forbid a man post on here and he gets ripped apart. There is a strong theme of man hate on here and fair enough if you aren't like that but you really can't deny it exists

You keep mentioning reddit being male dominated but have ignored my point in saying it's easy to find female dominated spaces on Reddit?

@MouthBreathingRage Brilliantly said

Oh if I had a mask for every anti-Harry /Megan thread on here this past year !!

Mumsnet... home for dog whistle racists!

Haterz don't need to stay.

Just saying ...

I genuinely feel it's one of the few places on The Internet where women can have an actual conversation about trans rights / women's rights without being shouted down and called a transphobe.

Except that when someone wants to join the discussion and their opinion isn't the same opinion as the majority they get piled on and insulted. That's not really called having an actual conversation, is it?

I know Greyt - I simply cannot imagine what it must feel like to get piled on and insulted on an online forum for holding a different opinion to the woke correct one......

Mumsnet is a laughing stock on the Internet

The whole internet is laughing at me. Oh no what am I going to do?

I know Greyt - I simply cannot imagine what it must feel like to get piled on and insulted on an online forum for holding a different opinion to the woke correct one...... grin*

You are being ridiculous. Oh and if you want to attempt to sarcastic or witty, maybe you should learn the meaning of terms such as "woke" but go ahead and insult me because I don't support sexism, Rascism, disabalist attitude, transphobia or all the other prejudice found on Mumsnet.

*Haterz don't need to stay.

Just saying ...*

OK, could you please clarify then: do you support the racisim on Mumsnet? How about the sexism? Or the class snobbery? Because us "haterz" who you know, don't agree with prejudice should just leave, it sounds like you actually are prejudice yourself

It's probably not in the spirit to teach many many posters the difference between "number" and "amount" but after the last few weeks I have decided I will do it, right before I leave
because I can't stand it for much longer.
I'm liking a wank of goadyfuckers though. Similar to a smug of estate agents. Or a twat of Mamils .