I worry the joy has gone out of life and won't fully return

[MyriamVB]

Firstly a disclaimer. I realise that many many people, including those in the frontline NHS staff, those who lived through and died in the 2 world wars and conflicts since, have and had it far harder. I also realise that the current restrictions are necessary to protect the NHS and save lives. I realise that there were many suffering people in the world and there will continue to be after this.

Obviously very very few people are enjoying life hugely at the minute. I do worry though that amongst all the solitude, strain on relationships, lack of socialising, boredom and listlessness together with the new authoritarian atmosphere around movements, the whole "I saw someone sit on a bench it's a disgrace" thing plus the psychological impact of necessary social distancing that the joy of life won't come back, not properly. It seems all around me people in necessary lockdown are beginning to be significantly affected by it. Even on here, every second thread seems to have descended into name calling and vociferous disagreement and "you're being ridiculous". Is this it now?

If you were placed on house arrest for 4 weeks because you'd committed a crime, you wouldn't be happy about it, would you

Please wake up! Of course you are under house arrest!

I don't know why people can't see it. They are hoodwinked by clever use of language.

It would be funny if it wasn't so worrying.

You sound morose and quite possibly depressed.

Of course the joy will come back. The world has weathered worse than this. Spanish flu, two world wars, humanitarian atrocities across every continent.

I think a lot of people need a healthy dose of perspective. This has been the situation for less than 3 months.

It’s not great, and don’t get me wrong, you’re entitled to be pissed off and upset about it. But it isn’t an apocalypse situation. It’s a short term unpleasant situation that will affect people in developing countries far more than us.

And for some people who live alone, going into an office could provide some much needed company. Just saying it doesn’t work for everyone.

It is bleak, it isn't 'fun' in the sense that we're used to.
But I have complex PTSD and major depressive disorder. For a good 10 years I truly believed I'd be better off dead, that there was no happiness left to find.
But I have found happiness; I'm not all better, just like the world won't be all better; it will change, but we as humans are incredibly resilient (as I feel we have shown, globally) and I believe we will find a way through and find ways to feel happy.
Sorry those are just my thoughts- they may not make much sense!

thecatisginger
do you even know what house arrest is?

If you want to pretend it's happening to you, but (if you are in the UK), we really are not.

Speaking of joy - everything you say is now taken literally.

Posters saying house arrest, it’s okay, even pedants know what you really mean.

I do think the joy will come back for those who are struggling at the moment and maybe we may appreciate the things we took for granted.
However some people are struggling much more than others as evidenced by the answers here and those with serious money worries or the prospect of becoming seriously ill due to underlying conditions make it much harder to see the 'positives'.
Some of the posters working from home, with a lovely leafy garden, enjoying being with family etc and then saying it's all about attitude are completely tone deaf.

Amen to that.

I'm really struggling with people that are content with the situation right not being unable to comprehend why it might be awful for others.

If you're working from home, or furloughed, have a nice house, a garden, happy marriage, children with you, enjoying the family time and pottering at home then it's not difficult to see that someone who has lost their job, or is shielded, or isolated, or living in a flat with children and no garden is finding this really tough is it?

My parents neighbour has no family, is over 80, no access to technology and her phone has just gone wrong. How lonely and isolated must she be? It's no consolation for us to say " oh, I'm finding it great. I can have zoom quiz nights with my friends and facetime with my family" is it? Many people are finding this such a hard time. Is it so difficult for others to recognise that?

Mrscaindingle

👏

more home working is bad for society imo

Why?

Some of the posters working from home, with a lovely leafy garden, enjoying being with family etc and then saying it's all about attitude are completely tone deaf.

it's not just that, though, no need to go in the completely opposite direction and pretend things are actually worst than they are.

I mean, I don't recommend it (and I am quite pissed off about it), but some neighbours had family staying over for the bank holiday weekend... We are NOT on house arrest. Most of us try to do the right thing, but we are still free to be twats not following the guidelines.

Added to the fact that guidelines are so relaxed in the UK...

It is shit, and it really is not a holiday, but no need to be dramatic either when there's no need to be.

It’s ok for us as we have a garden and live somewhere with nice walks but it is draining as I’ve got two small children, one of whom is finding lockdown very hard. There is joy in spending more time with the children even if it is stressful. The longer it lasts, the more worry there will be about job security. My role is fine but my husband’s is precarious.

My husband’s grandma is suffering. She is slipping into dementia and is desperately lonely.

I hear you OP I’m a really positive person and I’m making the best I can of the situation, I am frontline NHS so still working but DH furloughed, at least we still have money coming in but the longer this goes on the more likely the company is to fold so have that worry looming over me all the time. Then every now and again I get these daft thoughts thats things will never be as they were, I just can’t visualise myself getting on nights out anymore, Xmas parties, shopping at big shopping centres etc things that were really not that important but brought joy to my life

“ Some of the posters working from home, with a lovely leafy garden, enjoying being with family etc and then saying it's all about attitude are completely tone deaf.”

Or spectacularly thick, or just downright nasty.

It depends what life and joy means to you and never has there been a better to time to find out. Have you listened to a robin sing, let its melody fill your soul, or felt a deep comfort from just having someone you love nearby? Or felt the first breath of a spring day or stood out in the rain and see how alive it makes you feel. Try it, it's beautiful. Can you sit and just be in a moment, with no distractions and feel completely and utterly fulfilled and at peace? This is a time of great opportunity. Who are you? What makes you happy? There are eternal, indelible truths about what makes us human beings happy and now is the time to reconnect with them, free of all the fleeting fripperies that modern consumer life has falsely convinced us that we need.

“ Have you listened to a robin sing, let its melody fill your soul, or felt a deep comfort from just having someone you love nearby?“

I take it you’re not checking the sides of the sofa for coins?

Do “ Basics” baked beans count as “simple pleasures”? We do have those.

We are very adaptable to change. We have adapted quickly to this one and we all will adapt back to our previous lives.

The people who say things like ‘stop and listen to a robin sing’ etc I think must have had very different lives to me beforehand.
We moved to the countryside precisely for that lifestyle, a few years ago. We aren’t constantly busy, rushing round here there and everywhere, going to the cinema, meeting with friends all the time etc. We always appreciate nature, have a slow pace of life, spend lots of time as a family etc. We chose that lifestyle years ago and made sacrifices for it.
So telling me to ‘listen to the robins’ and ‘appreciate a spring day’ doesn’t change the fact that I can’t see my mum,m who is frontline NHS and lives alone, or my dad, or my friends, and doesn’t change the fact that money is a worry etc. The only changes for us are negative. And we’re some of the more fortunate ones.
There isn’t always a ‘bright side’.

CHIRIBAYA

Did you see where a pp wrote about being tone deaf?

Seriously, if someone has list their job, is about to.lose their home do you honestly think that Have you listened to a robin sing, let its melody fill your soul, or felt a deep comfort from just having someone you love nearby? Or felt the first breath of a spring day or stood out in the rain and see how alive it makes you feel. helps?

Have you ever had a problem in your life? Would it honestly have helped if someone had told you to just go and listen to birdsong?

This really is the modern day version of "let them eat cake".

Some families are living in hostels, others are losing jobs knowing that the chance of them ever working again is zero, others are facing losing homes, others of us, at 50, are having to face being confined to home for indefinite periods of time or choosing to.rweject shielding with an "well, I've had a good innings" attitude. At 50.

Do you really think being told to listen to birdsong or feel the wind blow will help?

Listening to birdsong costs nothing.

Yes, and I’ve been listening to songbird for years. It isn’t some new delight I’m just discovering.
Constant worrying about my 60 year old NHS worker mum is new though.

we all will adapt back to our previous lives.

For lots of us, our previous lives don't even exist anymore.

Birdsong is lovely. But at the moment I can't listen to birdsong without the stressful thoughts of possibly losing my job in the back of my mind.