Shouting in the garden and football hitting the fence

[TwistedFairytales]

We have a very small garden. We have an 8ft trampoline in it and 2 mini football goals. My 2 boys 7 and 9, tend to shout as kids do, very loudly when bouncing and excited. They also tend to kick the football and hit the back fence when they miss which backs onto another garden. The ball also hits the living room windows on occasion.

My husband has absolutely zero tolerance for any of this, the shouting and banging the fence and window. We bought a lighter ball and it actuallymakes the same noise banging the fence but it would be extremely unlikely ot would cause any damage. That tells me the harder football is making it sound worse than it is if that makes sense.
I try to tell them gently and nicely about it but he just goes in like a bull bellowing at them and shoutong to stop it. Its got to the point now where they dont want to play outside anymore ad they say 'we'll just get told off'. I'm more tolerant of the situation and kids will be kids. We are the middle house of three terraces. 4yo boy one side, couple early 60s other side with grown up boys. We get on well with all of them.

AIBU to think shouting and fence banging isnt really that much of a big deal? We have argued over it as we both disagree with the others attitude.

[Notthemessiah]

No-one is saying it but that's what a lot of posters would go for given the chance. Seen but not heard is still the UK attitude towards children.

[Seetheprettysnowdrops]

One of the most annoying sounds ever is the noise of a ball banging off a fence

YABU and your DH is right

[Macncheeseballs]

You have a lot going on in your very small garden

[lilmishap]

a ball occasionally hitting a fence
Define occasionally, that's a trick question as you can't possibly. My youngest and next doors youngest are really crap at aiming, so it's pretty much Bang 14 seconds Bang 22 seconds Bang 9 seconds. If they're both playing it's Bang 3 seconds Bang 6 seconds Bang 2 seconds Bang
I'm willing to bet no adult can stay sane listening to it constantly. Even you would feel your shoulders tensing after a while..

[JohnFinlaysNewTeeth]

My ex neighbours children used to smash on the fence and throw gravel at our window. They caused my anxiety and depression to skyrocket but kids should be kids huh.

[OneForMeToo]

Yabu. Take away the balls and stop the screaming. They can play out without hollering and banging balls. It’s the repetitive bang bang bang even if it isn’t loud it becomes unbearable. The screaming is just not needed regardless unless your being chased by an axe murderer or something.

[Fluffybutter]

It would drive me insane . The noise of footballs hitting the fence is migraine inducing and why do they need to shout ?
I’m with your dh as our neighbours do both of these things and I hate them for it we’ve spoken to them but they choose to ignore

[BovaryX]

Your poor neighbours. What makes you think this is acceptable?

[pennee]

My neighbours are ball kickers against the fence every afternoon. I’ve noticed it’s the dad who is the worst and if the 3 year old screams he has to scream louder. It annoys me more as it’s my fence that is being damaged each time and they don’t care as they are housing association. Said balls land in my garden at least twice a week. The banging noise sends me on edge and even my 9 year old gets annoyed and asks why they have to be pains screaming and banging. If I could live in a detached house in a field I would.

[onanothertrain]

Is this some kind of a reverse?

[LouiseCollina]

Who puts an eight foot trampoline and two football goals in a “very small garden?” Why do less and less people give a fuck about whether others also get to enjoy their outdoor space?! This is just horribly selfish.

[GreenFairy246]

I'm sorry I'm with your DH, very annoying sound and my neighbours ball smashing against (and damaging) the fence drives me insane

[Cabinfever10]

Yanbu I used to have this constantly from my neighbours.
If the ball wasn't hitting the fence it was coming over, and the screaming OMG was the worst part.
It was bad enough that all of our neighbours complained to the parents but nothing changed, so I let my huskie into my garden whenever the kids were out, kids scream huskie howls, kids kick the ball against the fence huskie howls, ball comes over huskie bursts it.
Strangely enough after 2 days no more screaming or ball kicking 🤷‍♀️
I should say that said huskie is very gentle and only howls when children scream or something hits the fence

[mumwon]

sponge footballs - but don't get them wet or leave them out in rain
www.dobbies.com/mookie-soft-football-465448011?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI0czhm-jt6AIVWeDtCh3Y1AifEAQYAiABEgK_rvD_BwE
you can also get training balls that you attach to leg
& rolls drum
www.dunelm.com/product/3-in-1-swing-tennis-basketball-football-outdoor-game-1000161058?defaultSkuId=30670476&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIsf3Ywent6AIVwu7tCh2fWwGEEAQYASABEgKE0_D_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds
not only a swing tennis ball but ---- a swing football & basket ball
hopefully right size for your children

[Dieu]

Sorry, but I'd be more inclined to side with your husband on this. Even though it's not really your or the boys' fault either He's being a bit too strict, but is at least trying to be considerate of the neighbours.

[PleaseStopSayingNewNormal]

Screaming and a ball hitting a shared fence? YABU to act as though that's perfectly acceptable. Even if your neighbours haven't complained (yet), I wouldn't take that to mean that they enjoy the noise.

Football may not be the best choice for playing in a very small garden, and it's up to you as their parents to remind them to keep the noise down or cut playtime short if they're persistently shouting and screaming.

It's not helping that you and your husband send the children mixed signals. Ideally, you should work it out between you and be consistent so that the boys know what is and isn't allowed.

[StoneofDestiny]

Poor neighbours!
They don't have to shout or bang a fence. Maybe give the neighbours a chance to read a book in their garden, or sit and quietly enjoy the sun!

[Mlou32]

YABVU. Your poor neighbours!

I suspect DH is shouting about it not only cause he finds it annoying, but because he's embarrassed for his kids to be disturbing other people like that. I certainly would be.

[MintyMabel]

Yes, he is right to be annoyed, and you are also pissing your neighbours off. Time to teach your kids they aren’t the centre of the world and they need to also respect others around them.

[OneStepSideways]

Your husband is right to discipline them over this. You can’t let them play football in a small garden, hitting neighbours fences and your own windows! And having a trampoline in a small space is selfish too, nobody wants to listen to kids screaming and yelling and looking over the fences!

Take them to a park for playing with the ball and get them into some less antisocial games in a small garden.

[awkwardbuttons]

I am a bit surprised that in this thread almost everyone agrees the OP should stop this but a few days ago most people agreed that smoking in your garden was perfectly your right and if it annoyed the neighbours that was a shame but it was your garden.

I have both things from two different neighbours and the smoking bothers me much more.

[awkwardbuttons]

(Appreciate different posters on each thread so not saying anyone is being hypocritical, I am just surprised the consensus on these points is so different!)

[BackforGood]

I'm amazed at the balance / split of answers on this thread.
Am genuinely surprised how many posters feel a grown man's grumpiness is more important than getting dc out in the fresh air, being active for an hour or two a day.

[Snowjive2]

We have two young boys next door who trampoline and kick balls at a goal. Sometimes they miss and hit the fence, which is damaged as a result. Sometimes the ball comes into our garden. They shout a bit.

Frankly, in the current situation, I can’t get worked up about it. Their parents are both working from home and I think they’re doing an amazing job keeping the boys occupied indoors for most of the day - I don’t envy them at all.

Plus, DS2 is a goalkeeper - we have a full size goal net in our garden. He practises dead ball and drop kicks into that with massive force. The ball doesn’t go outside our garden but the noise is loud.

Meanwhile I’m working from home executing the biggest project of my career - its huge. Perfect silence would be great but It’s not so important as families staying sane in these awful times.

We all have to be a little more tolerant than usual at the moment.

[jojobar]

It's quite easy for kids to be active outdoors without thumping a ball up against a fence.

When I'm in my house I can hear the BANG BANG BANG from 2 rooms away with doors and windows shut. If I'm watching TV I have to turn the sound up or I can't hear it. I was on a work call the other day and my colleagues asked if someone was knocking at my door. No just next doors kids 'enjoying themselves'