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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dear Sirs

328 replies

Suzanne12 · 16/04/2020 10:45

Is this an acceptable way to start an email that will be received by either a man or a woman? Would you say something if a colleague used this term to send an email to a generic inbox?

Yabu - it's fine
Yanbu - it's not acceptable anymore

OP posts:
FourEyesGood · 16/04/2020 10:46

Absolutely say something! What a wanker.

koshkatt · 16/04/2020 10:46

It is sexist and archaic.

livingthegoodlife · 16/04/2020 10:48

Yabu its standard use when writing to generic emails where the gender of the receiver is unknown, also used in formal letter writing. So much better than the "to whom it may concern" which some people use.

Doobedoobedoobe · 16/04/2020 10:48

It should be ‘To Whom it May Concern’ if you don’t know the gender of the intended recipient. Or simply ‘Good morning/afternoon’

TeaThings · 16/04/2020 10:48

I’d think the sender is a sexist dinosaur if I received that. Someone who holds ‘tradition’ over equality - why assume that only men are important enough to address.

Pelleas · 16/04/2020 10:49

'Dear Sir/Madam' or 'To whom it may concern' would be better formal alternatives. If informal I would open with 'Good morning' 'Hello' or 'Hi'.

OhNoNoNoNotThatOne · 16/04/2020 10:50

I think it's acceptable if the recipient is an unknown. However personally I'd use sir/madam or whomever it may concern.

inwood · 16/04/2020 10:50

Still standard use for my industry for formal responses in certain situations. Can't get wound up about it, everyone knows what it means.

BeNiceToYourSister · 16/04/2020 10:50

I don’t think this is widely acceptable nowadays at all! Maybe to a certain type of person but it’s completely outdated and depending on the circumstances I’d probably say something to the sender.

ErrolTheDragon · 16/04/2020 10:50

Yabu its standard use when writing to generic emails where the gender of the receiver is unknown, also used in formal letter writing

Don't be silly - it used to be standard, back in the times when the sex of the recipient of a business letter was invariably male.Hmm Its not been the norm for decades.

koshkatt · 16/04/2020 10:50

The best thing to do is to find out the name of the recipient or if it is to a group then just use 'Good Morning' of 'Good Afternoon' as a pp suggested.

I think that Dear Madam/Sir is also pretty rude as it is impersonal but Dear Sirs is horrendous.

OmgThereAreNoPlanesAboveMeNow · 16/04/2020 10:51

Afaik it's widely used in legal

StVincent · 16/04/2020 10:51

Totally unacceptable! I have seen a job application come in with this form of address and it contributed to its going into the “No” pile.

Windyatthebeach · 16/04/2020 10:51

My exh wanted a loan for a car.
He addressed his letter..
Dear Mr bank manager(!!!!)
Grin

opticaldelusion · 16/04/2020 10:51

Unnecessarily formal for an email. Pompous even.

Batqueen · 16/04/2020 10:51

YANBU everyday sexism matters.

ErrolTheDragon · 16/04/2020 10:52

Still standard use for my industry for formal responses in certain situations. Can't get wound up about it, everyone knows what it means.

Yeah, it means you're in an industry with some level of institutional sexism.

koshkatt · 16/04/2020 10:52

I’d think the sender is a sexist dinosaur if I received that. Someone who holds ‘tradition’ over equality - why assume that only men are important enough to address

And also this. And if you disgagree then think about why you would never send an email opening with 'Dear Madams'...

koshkatt · 16/04/2020 10:52

disagree

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 16/04/2020 10:53

Dear Sir/Madam or To whom it may concern.

Dear Sirs is not neutral. The assumption is that you must be emailing a man!

koshkatt · 16/04/2020 10:54

Or 'Dear Madam/Sir' which is what I prefer...Wink

HopelessLayout · 16/04/2020 10:55

Legal letters always have Dear Sirs, or just "Sirs," in my experience.

StVincent · 16/04/2020 10:55

It’s amazing how many people use male as default eg you see a fox “ah look he’s running under the fence” or in a book “on his first day the student will” etc etc

koshkatt · 16/04/2020 10:56

Yes it is about time that the legal profession dragged its arse in to the 21st century.

Suzanne12 · 16/04/2020 10:56

It is in the legal industry. The sender is a young man.

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