Actually the worst thing about Lockdown is NEVER BEING ON YOUR OWN

[YippeeKayakOtherBuckets]

I’ve just had a mini meltdown at DH. I’m furloughed but he is still working full time from home. Three kids, two dogs, cat. Chaos at the best of times. Oh, also the boys had CV symptoms right at the start of all this and DHs work did a WFH edict early so we’ve been in this for 5 weeks nearly.

He’s working in the dining room which is off the open plan kitchen so I have to juggle ‘homeschooling’ the 8yo, dealing with the animals in and out the back door, making lunch for everyone, fielding squabbles, keeping everyone quiet while he’s holding meetings every other hour.

He finishes mid afternoon and then wants to DO THINGS so while I’m quite happy to sit in the garden he wants me to get involved with board games and jigsaws.

Tonight tipped me over, he runs a martial arts class on a Wednesday which is now happening over zoom so I have to keep everyone upstairs because any noise from kids and dogs downstairs ruins the ‘chi’ (wanker) of the session. I took a bottle of wine upstairs with me thinking I could settle in and watch crap telly for a bit. He started at 7ish.

The 8yo is as hyper as shit so was in and out of my room talking at me and literally jumping on the bed/me/dogs. The 16yo keeps sending me links to things she wants me to buy for her. The 17yo is on his headset SHOUTING at his friends rather than speaking at normal volume.

Dh finished his class about 9.30 and popped his head in to say he’s done and he’s going to watch the Mandalorian downstairs.

Fuck off you’re not, I said. You get to put 8yo to bed, and be a bit firm because he’s bored and being a dick and will be trouble. Oh, he said, can’t you do it? I’ve had a busy day.

I may or may not have been a bit sweary. The upshot is they’ve all now fucked off to separate rooms from me, nobody is asking for anything from me and I’ve finally poured a glass of wine and fired up Quiz to watch.

I really miss the days when they’d all leave the house.

AIBU I want to be isolated ALONE for half a fucking hour.

I’d swap it. You could get use out of the piano etc. And if you don’t, bin that stuff. Life too short to give space rent free to objects you don’t need when you need that space for your mental health.

Feel your pain @YippeeKayakOtherBuckets.
DH does loud volume phone calls all day whilst DS1 is on headset and has NO idea how loud he is.
I'm on furlough but used to WFH in peace by myself Mon- Fri and I really miss the empty house.
Garden is my sanctuary. Am panicking about weather turning bad and what that will be like.

Yanbu! I live alone and am missing my friends and my Mum, but your account made me shudder!

Enjoy your wine - and get a lock for your bedroom door and some noise cancelling headphones?!

It's the all or nothing aspect. Either at home with everyone and no breathing space...

On your own all the time with nowhere to go (like my mum). She's isolating as much as possible and says the hardest thing is not going out for the day.

Personally I would find it harder being alone than being with my family all day... but I do find myself craving just 10 minutes on my own!

YES. When my baby finally had his nap and I could get some peace my 3yo decided she could only watch tv on my bloody lap. Husband tried to watch telly with me this evening and I told him to please give me some space. I just needed to sit in a room by myself for an hour.
Doesn't help that husband is sleeping in the nursery and both the 1 and 3yo are in my room. I was up 7 times last night between the two of them! 😬🤯

Single parent to a 3yr old with a penchant for climbing on me. Shares my bed as well so I literally get no time of the day where I am not being touched. I am not cut out for 24/7 active parenting. At all. I couldn’t even take full maternity leave because it was driving me batty.

I'm struggling a bit without my normal routine of school run,dh at work then the house to myself before I start work.I hate change at the best of times though.

I have 3.5 yo twin DDs and an almost 7yo DD. Husband is a very busy right now key worker, he's here a lot but not helping a lot, physically or emotionally, due to the nature of his work. The twins are worse now than when they were newborns, seriously the whinging, fighting and requests never stop and bedtime is getting earlier and earlier now. Then the 6yo stays up till bloody 10pm I am touched out and gradually becoming more and more of a doormat. Sick of hearing about how bored other people are and how much time they all have on their hands! This is annual leave for me. I can't wait to get back to work next week. I am terrified that this virus is going to interfere with the twins starting school in september.

My dh is sheltering at home but very grumpy as he hates being grounded as he calls it. A sporty 13 year old who has no cricket, swimming or karate and so moans all of the time because he can't see his friends or do his sports. Two older sons who are furloughed but also can't see friends and are bored. All of them seem to want non stop meals cooked and snacks provided for them. I am sick of cooking and tired as having to sit up half of night each week to get delivery slot. The final straw was sons moaning about no red grapes in delivery. I shouted they were lucky to have any fruit as lots of people cant get it and to make do with raspberries or melon. I went and sat in my car with music on for 40 mins whilst I calmed down.

My alone time today was the amount of time it took to get DS bike out from under the stairs while he waited outside. It was a blissful 30 seconds.

Op, you absolutely need to get him out of the dining room. You have another space, so whatever you need to temporarily shuffle, DO IT.

Oh yes, @caringcarer, the food! All they do is eat all day, every day. Two teenage DS with no thought at all for where food comes from.
Amount of food they consume is phenomenal and all they want to know is what's for next meal..

Omg I hear you so loud and clear op. Also been at this almost 5 week due to dc's schools closing early. 3 DC, one annoying dp, 1 dog and a hamster, and I'm NEVER EVER alone. I'm a key worker in a school, only doing 1 hour a day tho for 2 weeks at a time, I look forward to that car journey more than anything in the world right now. I miss my solitude Soo bad, kids not going to sleep early, in fact it's pretty dam late, so I'm not even getting evenings without them. I hear people saying they are lonely, I would kill to be lonely for a while.

Same here op. Thankfully DD is 3 and no need for “lessons”. But bloody hell. DH pops down for a 15 min lunch every day and I’m full on all day every day with her plus sorting house, meals, shopping, garden etc. I miss other grown ups. I miss using my BRAIN. It’s bloody hard. Makes me realise what I normally do (pre lockdown) is also quite hard too though and I should give myself more credit.

Also think you should try and punt DH to a bedroom rather than dining room.

We often sit in our own in the evenings. DH is talked out after calls all day everyday. And I frazzled after full days with DD when I’m used to being at work.

sounds ghastly, but living on you own through this isn't exactly a bed of roses.

if the house is open plan, why doesn't your partner create an office space in the bedroom to work from in the day?
I think i'd tell him where to shove his chi.

I feel you. My kids are both small (6&4) and my DH has no work at the moment. We’ve been isolating since 16th March as the littlest had a cough although I don’t think it was corona. Anyway if I get the kids occupied then slip away to lie on my bed for a bit with a book they follow me. All of them. My DH is the worst for it. Within 10mins they’re all on the bed with me. We have a fairly small house I need space. Why don’t they seem to need space from me? An hour a day alone is all I want! Well, more a need than a want.
Anyway in the grand scheme of life I know it’s a minor thing and I love them all so much and I love that they obviously love me but my God I can’t spend 13 hours a day in the same room as them all.

Yanbu.

I was just saying to my mum the other day, this could be a whole lot worse. We could be forced to be with other people 24/7. We both live alone and right now are very grateful for that fact!

I find a spot of piano practice instantly sends the rest of the family to the far corners of the house / garden. I recommend it.

I would assume that practising something like, say, the recorder would be even more effective at giving you some much-needed time alone...

Single parent, I'm autistic, and I've got primary and secondary aged kids.

That, I can deal with. Very glad I'm currently single

I too am single and very grateful for that fact.

I’m the opposite, single and finding the worst thing is being on my own during this time

I deliberately went to bed early last night when I wasn’t even tired to avoid my children.

I'm struggling too. Usually a grandparent would have had him for a day one weekend.

And, in all honesty, I usually work full time so I'm just not used to having to be mum this much. I mean, obviously I'm always mum, but I'm not used to the constant asking for stuff, or questions, or screaming.

I miss the taste of a warm coffee.

I feel your pain OP! Pre-schooler and a toddler, both of us trying to work from home but I am part-time so spend most of my days answering the endless calls of “Mummmeeeee”. So fed up with constantly cleaning and planning, preparing and clearing up after meals. I don’t even get to escape from them at night as both children are currently in our bed (I am squashed on the end about to fall out). I suppose I should be grateful that I am not also having to accommodate someone else’s “chi”!

I also find the constant suggestions of how to relieve lockdown boredom infuriating! I would LOVE the chance to be bored!

I've promised myself a session in a floatation tank as soon as virus over and baby old enough to be left.