Actually the worst thing about Lockdown is NEVER BEING ON YOUR OWN

[YippeeKayakOtherBuckets]

I’ve just had a mini meltdown at DH. I’m furloughed but he is still working full time from home. Three kids, two dogs, cat. Chaos at the best of times. Oh, also the boys had CV symptoms right at the start of all this and DHs work did a WFH edict early so we’ve been in this for 5 weeks nearly.

He’s working in the dining room which is off the open plan kitchen so I have to juggle ‘homeschooling’ the 8yo, dealing with the animals in and out the back door, making lunch for everyone, fielding squabbles, keeping everyone quiet while he’s holding meetings every other hour.

He finishes mid afternoon and then wants to DO THINGS so while I’m quite happy to sit in the garden he wants me to get involved with board games and jigsaws.

Tonight tipped me over, he runs a martial arts class on a Wednesday which is now happening over zoom so I have to keep everyone upstairs because any noise from kids and dogs downstairs ruins the ‘chi’ (wanker) of the session. I took a bottle of wine upstairs with me thinking I could settle in and watch crap telly for a bit. He started at 7ish.

The 8yo is as hyper as shit so was in and out of my room talking at me and literally jumping on the bed/me/dogs. The 16yo keeps sending me links to things she wants me to buy for her. The 17yo is on his headset SHOUTING at his friends rather than speaking at normal volume.

Dh finished his class about 9.30 and popped his head in to say he’s done and he’s going to watch the Mandalorian downstairs.

Fuck off you’re not, I said. You get to put 8yo to bed, and be a bit firm because he’s bored and being a dick and will be trouble. Oh, he said, can’t you do it? I’ve had a busy day.

I may or may not have been a bit sweary. The upshot is they’ve all now fucked off to separate rooms from me, nobody is asking for anything from me and I’ve finally poured a glass of wine and fired up Quiz to watch.

I really miss the days when they’d all leave the house.

AIBU I want to be isolated ALONE for half a fucking hour.

My Mum is finding the opposite problem
For her the hardest thing is being alone all the time. I think that's a lot harder to deal with

Preach!

I feel you OP except my OH is out working and I'm working from home whilst trying maintain the chaos of the house and home Ed for 3 kids one of whom is 7 and wants my attention all day!! Not one room in this house is sacred! No matter where I am they follow 😩

I only house share with DS but am working from home long hours
My best bit of alone time is daily solitary walk
OP decide what you need most once a day - long soak in bath, sole walk, undisturbed hour to read etc
Get DH to agree same (hour each) stick to it and keep DC out of way of resting parent

Agreed. I am a single parent to two school aged DC. I am working full time from home. So I manage to be both lonely (lacking adult conversation that isn’t work related) and never alone. I am also responsible for eleventy hundred snacks and meals a day. Plus working full time. Did I mention that bit? Needless to say my input into home learning is approximately zero. I’d have to drop hours to do it but can’t afford to 😢)

I so understand you OP. I make myself get up an hour before my daughter just so I can have some headspace. That hour at 5 am when I drink my coffee in silence with my thoughts is what gets me through the day. When she wakes up early and I don’t get that morning me time I literally want to cry. The poster that said lockdown is sensory overload described it perfectly

So much this. 3 kids under 10. Small house with no garden. Dh working from home. I’m freelance so trying to work while the kids play but it’s impossible. I’m so tired after homeschooling, tidying, cooking, tidying, working, tidying, worrying etc etc.

Dh Wales up 10 minutes before his first meeting, works loudly from home all day, interrupts homeschooling with fun dad stuff whenever he feels like it then fucks off to leave me to try to restore order, does a workout after work during which he can’t be disturbed, spends all evening watching tv. He’s just had the cheek to ask me why I’m not in the mood for sex!

Even though it’s just me DH and the cat I feel your pain.
I am very lucky that we have a big garden and the end of it is like a forest clearing. I have a big outdoor sofa down there. I live there now until dark.

Know this feeling. I'm on conference calls all morning and minding two preschoolers all afternoon. Then trying to have some energy left for dh who has worked the afternoon but without the calls. He's had a blissful 5 hours of silence while I've been talked to or have been talking for about 10 hours straight!

DP and I are both key workers so double the stress here- stressed at work and then days off are filled with the endless demands of 3 children constantly shouting “MUMMY” 200 zillion times a day. Throw in the constant worrying about what they might catch from me and it’s all becoming a bit too much here.

Yes. Single parent of 2 and 8yo. They both literally talk at me non stop from 5am to 8pm. Then I log on and do some work. At first I was really excited to have so much more time with them, and I still really enjoy it a lot of the time, but I ache to just take off for a run on my own. And (as a massive introvert it’s taken me a while to reach this point, but) I’m also really feeling the lack of adult conversation now.

It’s just relentless, isn’t it?

I usually have one or two days off in the week (I work most weekends) so I’ve been spoilt by having the luxury of proper alone time. I’m trying so hard to keep thinking of the positives, it’s hard enough not seeing my wider family and friends so thank god I do have my favourite people around me.

But fucking hell.

Also, I don’t want to go out for an hours walk on my own! I mean maybe I do, I do enjoy dog walks and I’ve never relished my precious trips out to the shop more, but really I just want to sit in my own front room watching my own telly for an hour...half an hour...ten minutes? Without being needed or interrupted.

I think tonight just tipped me over because I had to facilitate DH’s hobby and all I could think was WHAT ABOUT MY HOBBY which tbf is drinking wine and watching ITV. The last four nights have been Family Movie Nights so I’m owed a bit of light tv without people talking and fidgeting.

5 kids under the age of 10, the youngest 3 are under the age of 3 years old and a DH who is a medic still working.

I can hardly hear myself think, and can hardly remember my own name (it's not "muuuuumm") as I am pulled in a million different directions constantly morning, noon and all during the night.

Homeschooling has gone to shit already and I feel like a failure.

I flipped out tonight cos DH ate the last of the carrot cake. It was the last straw.

My children (8, 10) are left in the house with my WFH DH, most days, while I go out for a walk between about 3:30-5:30pm. DH is in the study most of the day and goes out for long cycles at the weekend.

It’s a breather for both of us - could you do anything like this? Would your household really fall apart if you went out for a bit a few times a week? And not to go shopping either - somewhere you can recharge. Don’t want to come over all hippy but air and sun make a huge difference to mental well-being.

I think OP doesn’t want an hour to go out just by herself, she NEEDS an hour in her own home without kids/pets/husband.

I remember the time when I had DC at home before they started the nursery.

Snappy harpy at home, happy as larry at work.
DH thought that going food shopping equals childfree time and so is working. Errrm,not.

He eventually got the message when I demanded time off to myself at home ( more difficult for him as otherwise he would plonk both kids at screens for hours and fed them sugary crap, then they would be ready for me to take over while bouncing off the walls) and I lost it after yet another stupid interruption from him.

The hell broke loose but it was worth it.

Well done OP. Sometimes we have to lose our shit otherwise nobody listens. Make sure you’re heard.

Every time someone says what will you do after lockdown ends, it's "be alone" based. DH works from home, 4 yo is quite clingy anyway, plus adjusting to being a new big brother and missing school. 5 month olds are twins. DH gets the babies up of a morning whilst I try to recuperate sleep from overnight feeds so the only time I'm alone is that for of sleep. We have plenty of food so I can't even go out to the shop and out up with idiot queue jumpers whilst trying to avoid owls on busy buses.
I just want to be alone or at least have sleeping twins in the pushchair and no one else

Yeah, all the chat about it suiting introverts. .... erm,.....no!! Not introverts with kids!

As PP said, I’ve never been so busy or tired either, what with doing school work with DD, games with DD, normal work, Skype/zoom/Houseparty/FaceTime /messenger/WhatsApp and phone calls with everyone under the sun, trying to sort food deliveries for us, trying to sort food deliveries for parents, it’s none bloody stop!

I was an only child. I absolutely adore it just being me.

Yes. DH is normally away during the week with work, he is currently WFH on and off (key worker travelling back and forth as directed) and he is really, really, really getting on my nerves. I can't bare it. I love it being just me and DS, I honestly don't see how we will last beyond the lockdown.

Why is he working in the dining room? I wouldn't make everyone be quiet to facilitate that. He can fuck off upstairs to a bedroom!

I'm just starting to find this now. I'm a single parent of three and I'm still working in a nursery for the children of key workers. I'm finding I'm not being so fun or patient at work as I usually would simply because my own children are always talking and wanting attention and doing school work. Usually I'd get a bit of time with them out of the house and I also have a midweek day off that gives me a whole day of alone time. Craving time where I'm not talked at and climbed on and have adults to talk to!

Hahahahaha! I'm in lockdown on my own and it's not exactly a bed of roses either.

3 kids aged 6, 4 and 1, DH working from home ok constant conference calls. I sat in my car in the co-op car park for half an hour earlier after doing the shopping.