Actually the worst thing about Lockdown is NEVER BEING ON YOUR OWN

[YippeeKayakOtherBuckets]

I’ve just had a mini meltdown at DH. I’m furloughed but he is still working full time from home. Three kids, two dogs, cat. Chaos at the best of times. Oh, also the boys had CV symptoms right at the start of all this and DHs work did a WFH edict early so we’ve been in this for 5 weeks nearly.

He’s working in the dining room which is off the open plan kitchen so I have to juggle ‘homeschooling’ the 8yo, dealing with the animals in and out the back door, making lunch for everyone, fielding squabbles, keeping everyone quiet while he’s holding meetings every other hour.

He finishes mid afternoon and then wants to DO THINGS so while I’m quite happy to sit in the garden he wants me to get involved with board games and jigsaws.

Tonight tipped me over, he runs a martial arts class on a Wednesday which is now happening over zoom so I have to keep everyone upstairs because any noise from kids and dogs downstairs ruins the ‘chi’ (wanker) of the session. I took a bottle of wine upstairs with me thinking I could settle in and watch crap telly for a bit. He started at 7ish.

The 8yo is as hyper as shit so was in and out of my room talking at me and literally jumping on the bed/me/dogs. The 16yo keeps sending me links to things she wants me to buy for her. The 17yo is on his headset SHOUTING at his friends rather than speaking at normal volume.

Dh finished his class about 9.30 and popped his head in to say he’s done and he’s going to watch the Mandalorian downstairs.

Fuck off you’re not, I said. You get to put 8yo to bed, and be a bit firm because he’s bored and being a dick and will be trouble. Oh, he said, can’t you do it? I’ve had a busy day.



I may or may not have been a bit sweary. The upshot is they’ve all now fucked off to separate rooms from me, nobody is asking for anything from me and I’ve finally poured a glass of wine and fired up Quiz to watch.

I really miss the days when they’d all leave the house.

AIBU I want to be isolated ALONE for half a fucking hour.

[flouncymcflouncerson]

I’m a lone parent after my DH died a few years ago. I’m struggling not getting any alone time at all :(

[Mammyloveswine]

I feel this! My children are still really young (under 5) and the fighting...the whining...the whinging...the "I'm hungry" cries every 5 fucking minutes...

The house is a tip, I've packed almost a stone on and I've drank a disgusting amount of wine just to try and cope...

Husband is still going to work, when he's off that's when I'm rota'd to go into work... I'm working from home too when I'm not physically in school..

Tried to have a positive day today, it was much better. I was only shouty mum twice .

It's hard op so do you what you need to do to get through it!

Enjoy Quiz, I loved it!

[yatapina]

I think regardless of what our home situation is right now, the point is that isolation/quarantine/lockdown or whatever you want to call it is totally alien and unnatural to us as a generally free society.

Every single one of us will struggle with it for our own reasons and if the roles were reversed with those living alone/with family we'd all still struggle!

It's not a competition about who has it worse but it is reassuring to know that others aren't finding this a piece of piss whilst I fight back the feelings.

[Charbead49]

Can your teenagers not fend for themselves a bit? At that age we cooked meals for ourselves/the family. Really thought this was preschoolers post until near the end!

[wildflowersandweeds]

@fascinated - I also decided to potty train my eldest this week. And then when I 'escaped' to go to the supermarket, my lovely drive was interrupted by some idiot pulling out of a side street straight into my car!
So now I have no car, no groceries, 2 under 2, and am midway through potty training. For the first time I get why Mumsnet tends to talk so favourably about the idea of booking yourself into a hotel for a night!

[Ivebeentohellanditscalledikea]

I feel your pain. Im a single mum of three and this is our fith week of this. I swear I never get a moment to myself. The only time I used to get to myself was my drive to and from work and I miss it so much

[JeSuisPoulet]

We have been off for a similar amount of time - just me and dd. Yes a million times over. I can let her do an hour on screens but then I get anxious about it. She shares my bed atm so I literally don't get a second away. She has heard me swear now, having only heard me say "bloody" before... We also have a dog (8mo) who seems determined to chew anything new in the house /craft kits / school books / one shoe from a set/ twigs from the compost all over the carpet / valuable loo rolls, etc. Between the two of them I've been run ragged. I want to get rip-roaringly drunk and smoke a whole pack of fags after this

[SuckingDownDarjeeling]

Thank you I'll keep going with the wine while I wait 😂. I know the morning will be fun when the babies wake up x

[BogRollBOGOF]

Either extreme of never being left to just be, or never having contact is not healthy for most people.

I love my family, but my goodness do I regularly need the best part of an hour to run away from them... and another hour to run home again. Exercise in the house just doesn't cut it. They just know when Adriene is relaxing you into savasana and telling you to disconnect from all that is happening around, and then the fraticide starts up... Nope, far better to be in a lonely field far, far away

DS has a quirk of doubling names when he wants attention, "Mummymummy" or "Benjaminbenjamin" these things have a tendency to aggravate cumulatively. Sigh.

[NW2SW]

OP your writing style is hilarious, oh and YANBU.

[PyongyangKipperbang]

Why are you all going upstairs for his session? 4 people inconvenienced for 1 person to do a hobby?

The weather is nice, why cant he go in the garden?

[MooPointCowsOpinion]

Your husband needs to fuck off somewhere to work, laptops are potable he could do his job from a bedroom!
Poor you. I am very pro mum melt downs every now and then, keeps everyone from forgetting you’re human and not just a robot there to serve them!

[fascinated]

Oh, wild, good luck! What an awful thing to happen!

[Fucket]

Oh god I hear you. My SN son has separation anxiety and literally needs to know where I am at all fucking times. I cannot go for a shit without him following me.

Dh got banished to our bedroom to wfh. Which means the kids can go feral everywhere else and I have nowhere to go for the rest of the day without 1 or 3 kids around me.

I have a zero tolerance on pathetic whining and moaning from the kids. I literally lost my rag, and not my proudest moment. I explained afterwards how annoying the sound is, when one of their siblings does it. I will walk off from the situation and let them figure it out between themselves.

Dh did moan about food at start of lockdown but told him if he didn’t like what was on offer he could take over. He also was setting a bad example to the kids of not being grateful and thankful someone was making him healthy meals for him.

I also told him I’d divorce him if he didn’t turn twatting classic fm off. He would have it on all day and the sound was inescapable. After 3 weeks of it I’ve told him it’s earphones in or I walk out for good.

My nerves are frayed and I went back to work to get away from the oppression of being home all day. But I’m vulnerable too so hoping for a walk is just about doable but I haven’t been to a shop for over a month now. I miss popping to the garage for bread and milk :(

[MadameTuffington]

Nope - YANBU - I totally get it 🤗

[GrolliffetheDragon]

Ya so nbu.

It's what I'm struggling with most as well.

[DancyNancy]

I never realised how much I really loved my own company till now. I would love a few hours all alone to myself now. I am going for a solo walk every day now without fail. Blissful. You were right, however you need to push more to make sure you get your time too. Afternoon could be allocated to allow for you time. It's important, you need to speak up. Men don't realise a lot of the time.


Cheers!!

[PyongyangKipperbang]

I am very pro mum melt downs every now and then, keeps everyone from forgetting you’re human and not just a robot there to serve them!

Hell yes. A total advocate of that too. I am not a shouter by nature, so when I lose my shit the kids know that they have pushed me waaaaaay beyond my limit.

[Wingingitsince2018]

I had to queue for 45 minutes to get in to tesco last week. It was bliss! Listened to a podcast in the sunshine on my own for the first time in 3 weeks.

It's only me, DH and DS and I'm struggling to I certainly feel for you!

To be honest, about 2 weeks before this all started life all got too much for me and I went out on Saturday morning leaving them to it. I got in the car, drove around for about 30mins, went and bought a magazine and read it cover to cover in a coffee shop over 2 flat whites. Sometimes you just need space and that is definitely okay.

[fascinated]

I realky try to nip the ‘I’ve done this for you’ type comments in the bud. I say pointedly that we are all a team and that you have done it for the whole family.

[RJnomore1]

Yep in our house there is a ratio of 2 rooms to one person not including bathrooms. Yet whatever room I go to I turn round and they’re ALL FUCKING THERE

I came to bed for peace and they’ve just knocked on the door to Check I was ok as they “hadn’t seen me for a while”

I should be touched they want to see me I suppose but I’m a true introvert and I need space. Oh and “they” are DH and a 15 a 20 year old!

[Rosebel]

I understand I have a headache every day be because there is no peace. The children argue, my husband is in a foul mood 90% of the time and we have stupid, petty rows. Even the poor cats annoy me.
However I'd hate being alone all the time more. So while it's not easy constantly being with people I definitely think it's the less,of two evils.

[Duck90]

Move him to the bedroom. If I was him I wouldn’t want to sit in the centre of the house to work. It comes across like he his so important and the “little wife” has to fit the family around him!

[furling]

I don't know how you do it, OP. It's only me and DH in the house, and his presence is already driving me crazy. Worst thing is that he has taken over the dining room as his working-from-home space, so I can't go to the kitchen to pour myself a large whisky and grab a family pack of jaffa cakes make tea when he's on one of his never ending zoom calls.

[YippeeKayakOtherBuckets]

Regarding his ‘office space’, he does some software malarkey that I don’t even pretend to understand and his current set up is laptop, pc gubbins, keyboard and two screens. Plus mouse and cup of tea and paperwork. I actually moved him out of the kitchen into the dining room last week. It’s just that the rooms are only separated by an archway thing.

I could banish him to what is technically the study but it would mean moving the piano and amps and other clutter into the dining room and I’m not sure it would ever return.

The bedrooms are all taken. There is potentially space in the garden but that might be a bit cruel.