Music in the Garden

[Gruffalomom]

We live in on a relatively modern estate so we all have small gardens backing on to each other.

My DH likes to play music from a speaker when using our garden.

He doesn't have it booming but enough that it is definately audible to the neighbours.

It really bugs me as I feel like we are forcing our music taste on everyone and spoiling their enjoyment of our gardens.

We have several neighbours who play music in the garden and I find it annoying (but not enough that I would ever raise it with them!)

Aibu to think he's not being as considerate as he could be?

TwoZeroTwoZero
why should your desire for peace and quiet in your garden trump my desire to listen to quiet music in my garden?

Because there are ways that you could listen to music without imposing it on others.

It is legal and it is acceptable.

This is the sort of shit that my nosy neighbour used to come out with.
The other was that they 'have a legal right to enjoy the use of their home'

There is always an excuse to be a dick

Try showing a little consideration and tolerance for others yourself.

You mean like not complaining when its music that is being listened to "quietly".

Fucking selfish.

The family to our left are friends of ours. He's a keyworker who works the night shifts and really doesn't mind noise, which is a good job considering how loud his ds is! They like music and often play their own, either in their garden or over the road at members of their families' houses when not in lockdown.

The couple to our right have a few dogs who bark and yap throughout the day and night and so can't really complain about any of our quiet, reasonable music. They haven't ever complained btw.

The family next-door-but-one play music from their Alexa thing and that is much louder than ours. They also have children and a yappy dog and have regular parties and bbqs.

Further up and down the street there are other radios on and music being played through speakers. Nothing loud and intrusive, it's just sound that you can hear along with the other sounds of sunny days such as children playing, people talking, lawnmowers, strimmers and a drill somewhere.

This is what I mean by living close by other people and having to accept and tolerate the sounds they make as they go about their daily lives and that amongst all this, it'd probably be more selfish for one household to expect their desire for quiet to take precedence.

Our next door neighbours have had music blaring in the garden since Saturday... It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't crap pop

TwoZeroTwoZero

So what?

Your neighbourhood is loud. you all enjoy it and respect each other

My neighbourhood is quiet and we all enjoy it and respect each other.

If someone loud moved in, they would get complained about.
They wouldn't fit the dynamic of the neighbourhood.

Should everyone else have to be tolerant of the person that is disrupting the whole neighbourhood?

It's not loud. That's what I'm getting at. I'm sitting in my garden now and whilst there's noise it's quiet, not intrusive and easy to ignore because it blends into the background. Amongst all that the only sound that really stands out is that of the birds singing and chirping in the bushes around my garden. All those people saying they hate any music must either have a very low annoyance threshold or be imagining a loud, concert style rave when someone posts about playing quiet, background music that just blends in.

@fluffybutter @Harrysnotter Yes really in real life folk use their gardens. I work nights so i either sleep at the front of the house or i wear earplugs i dont expect the world to adjust to accommodate me. You both sound very up tight maybe you should go out for some fresh air.

Nl

"All those people saying they hate any music must either have a very low annoyance threshold or be imagining a loud, concert style rave when someone posts about playing quiet, background music that just blends in."

No, I did not imagine that, I imagined your shit, tinny music bothering me when I want some peace.

Selfish and inconsiderate. Why does he think everyone else wants to listen to his music?

Would be fascinating to see when this is all over how many people have been house hunting. Someone mentioned people wanting complete silence - I’d love that, apart from my own family’s noise. I hate hearing other people when I’d rather not. But I’m big enough to understand that unless I move to somewhere v rural, I have to compromise

It's a very good speaker with good depth and bass so it's far from tinny and my taste in music is fucking awesome, not shit

Seriously though, it's really not annoying anyone because like I've said several times, it's background music being played at a quiet, reasonable volume where we can easily have a quiet conversation over it. If the neighbours can hear it then it's not loud enough for it to be bothersome.

@TwoZeroTwoZero Farting near your face is also legal but it's not in accordance to social norm. Would you like people to do it?

@INeverSaidImNice depends on how kinky I'm feeling that day

TwoZeroTwoZero

It's not that loud too you.

I can't make any sort of objective opinion because I am not there.

I can say that we have had neighbours that have had music so loud (different non adjoined house) that this block of flats and the one next door vibrated with the bass.

It didn't last long till the police were called and shut it down.

My neighbours at the back have/had garden parties. the music so low that if there was any it couldn't be heard, only pleasant chat and kids playing. So it is possible.

AvonCallingBarksdale

I have lived in shared accommodation, uni halls, shared houses, own house, and various flats.

So yes I have done plenty of home hunting, and put up with lots of noise, some everyday noise and some fuckwit arseholes that have no respect for anyone or anything else than their one enjoyment and I have found that the later will not and will never have any respect for those around them.

What I think is problematic is that I feel lucky to have found somewhere to live with a like minded group of people and not that it should be the norm to not have to complain about other people's noise.

Yanbu But (and I am preparing to be flamed here) my ndn has their music playing so loudly that it can be heard clearly two doors down. I would much prefer to listen to the birds but if it must be music it will be my own. So first I just played it out of the speaker on my phone (can't use headphones as need to keep an ear out for 6yo ds) but I could still hear their music over my own. So I bought a little bluetooth speaker, nothing too obnoxious. Could still hear their music over mine.

So I bought a proper hefty portable Bluetooth speaker, that is about the size of a small boom box, and now I can finally drown out their incessant noise.

I used it for maybe an hour or so this afternoon so not an excessive amount I don't think and certainly not all day every day.

If it weren't for shithead neighbours though, I would have stuck to birdsong, or my little phone speaker that even at full volume can't be heard from the other side of the garden.

I can say that we have had neighbours that have had music so loud (different non adjoined house) that this block of flats and the one next door vibrated with the bass. I used to live on the middle floor in a block of 6 bedsits (2 on each floor) and the people below me used to have loud parties that lasted whole weekends and, even when they weren't partying, would play music so loud my tea would jump about on my cup. I did complain and in the end they were evicted. I can understand that extremely loud noise, of any kind, is difficult to live with. I'm not talking about that though; I'm saying that quiet music, played at a volume where you can easily have a conversation over it, is not a problem. It's not antisocial and if you were to call the police because of it then they'd give you short shrift. It is legal, it is acceptable and hearing your neighbours as they go about their daily lives, including them playing quiet music in their gardens, comes as part and parcel of living close to other people.

TwoZeroTwoZero

and I agree, but accusing those that think otherwise as intolerant is just wrong.

The way the op describes the music her dh was playing (quiet but enough to be heard by close neighbours) is the same as I have been trying to describe. Other people then replied calling him selfish, saying his neighbours hate him, that he should wear headphones, that he's an inconsiderate bastard, that they hate any music played at and audible volume, that he's arrogant, that they won't go outside into their own gardens because any audible music makes them stressed etc etc etc. That to me does sound intolerant and suggests they expect other people to change their behaviour to suit them.

TwoZeroTwoZero

the OP describes the music level as

"He doesn't have it booming but enough that it is definately audible to the neighbours."

So there is quite a lot of scope for interpretation.

headphones or ram the music player sideways up his arse. His choice.

yes, the neighbours will judge you for being willing to have sex with such a selfish pig.

Two zero - who gets to decide whats 'bothersome'?

I'm think given that headphones are so widely available now, there is no need to have music playing and definitely no need for speakers!

I will admit, I'm particularly intolerant to neighbour noise though as we had lived next to a family where their large Alsatian barked incessantly at the fence when ever us or their other neighbour's popped into our gardens, We were told that it was "legal noise" and to get over ourselves. We moved to a detached house with no neighbor's, I could never again live on top of someone else if i had the choice not to.

who gets to decide whats 'bothersome'? The police I suppose. Like I said earlier, I'd you were to call them out over noise like I'm describing they'll probably give you the face.

We moved to a detached house with no neighbor's [sic], I could never again live on top of someone else if i [sic] had the choice not to. Good for you. Unfortunately, quite a lot of us have limited choice over where we live, for example we live in a housing association house and had to take what we were offered or have no house at all. We have a semi-detached house with quite a large garden but we are close to other people and am such we have to accept and live with a reasonable level of noise. In all honesty though I think I'd actually prefer to live here, an area that's a bit rough but with a good community feel to it and where a large majority of people live and let live, than a house on its own somewhere separate from everyone else or in an area where people gossip about each other and judge their neighbours on so many minor things like I keep reading on here.