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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Music in the Garden

165 replies

Gruffalomom · 15/04/2020 17:40

We live in on a relatively modern estate so we all have small gardens backing on to each other.

My DH likes to play music from a speaker when using our garden.

He doesn't have it booming but enough that it is definately audible to the neighbours.

It really bugs me as I feel like we are forcing our music taste on everyone and spoiling their enjoyment of our gardens.

We have several neighbours who play music in the garden and I find it annoying (but not enough that I would ever raise it with them!)

Aibu to think he's not being as considerate as he could be?

OP posts:
Pinot4me · 16/04/2020 08:21

We have new neighbours. They back on to us so live on a completely offer to road. Everything about them is loud. Loud kids, loud yapping dogs, loud parents, loud music (with karaoke!) oh, and loud hot tub!
Can’t wait for 3 more weeks of lockdown!

Daffodil101 · 16/04/2020 08:21

I’m hoping that none of your neighbours are key workers who have been on a night shift.

Just a thought.

DH is in intensive care consultant currently working 60 hours a week including nights. It’s hard enough to sleep in the day with the kids at home, let alone nextdoors dog and their music.

People are insufferably selfish.

Pinot4me · 16/04/2020 08:22

Offer to = different. Blooming autocorrect

HarrySnotter · 16/04/2020 08:24

My friends next door neighbours have a hot tub and speakers right next to their shared fence. Some people really are pricks.

AmelieTaylor · 16/04/2020 08:32

@Gruffalomom. Your DH sounds like a nice bloke, in general, but WRT music in the garden, he is wrong! The vast majority of people do not want to hear someone else's music in the own garden or house. It's rude, selfish, inconsiderate & twatty. I'm sure he doesn't want to be viewed like that does he?

AlwaysCheddar · 16/04/2020 08:36

Rude, annoying and twattish. Get headphones.

Celerysam · 16/04/2020 08:48

I detest people playing music in the garden. Igvtotally ruins my ability to enjoy being outside.

cabbageking · 16/04/2020 10:16

I don't mind some background noise in a garden in the day.
I don't hearing children laugh and squabble a bit.

I don't enjoy loud music, children and adults screaming for hours and lack of consideration.

Why is he using speakers?

AvonCallingBarksdale · 16/04/2020 11:00

It’s so difficult to get the balance as well - I feel murderous when I hear our neighbours on one side cos they’re a bit chavvy and there’s too many of them (4 DC aged 17-22) Constant DIY, barbies as soon as there’s a speck of sun. We don’t say anything cos at some point we’ll move and I don’t want it to be a “thing”. I also think soon enough the DC will move out. I also acknowledge that a bit of forethought would have suggested I might prefer a more rural location!!

TwoZeroTwoZero · 16/04/2020 11:24

I think people are reading the word "speakers" and are automatically assuming that means the person using them is playing their music at top notch with the deepest bass possible.

I use a small Bluetooth speaker when I'm in my garden because it means I don't have to turn the radio in the house up and the music from the speaker sounds better than it does from my phone. It might travel in the air into the neighbours' gardens if the wind is in the right direction and it's quiet enough but in our street it's rarely that quiet because other neighbours use their power tools, mow their lawns, have their own music on or their children are playing out.

You can't expect or demand absolute silence when you're living in close proximity to lots of other people.

HarrySnotter · 16/04/2020 11:32

You can't expect or demand absolute silence when you're living in close proximity to lots of other people.

Who did that? @TwoZeroTwoZero I can't see anyone on this thread suggested this in the slightest.

I really don't see how people can twist requesting having some consideration for the people you have chosen to live close to, into 'demanding absolute silence'.

YesThatIsMyRealName · 16/04/2020 11:56

@TwoZeroTwoZero No one is demanding absolute silence and no one wants to hear your music through your speaker, small as it may be.

Happy enough to hear reasonable noise levels but music is just shit. Listen to it on your headphones or go inside.

koshkatt · 16/04/2020 12:15

Really very selfish of him OP.

Macncheeseballs · 16/04/2020 12:31

Twozero - , blue tooth headphones

AbsolomChautney · 16/04/2020 12:33

My neighbour uses his gym in his garage; fan on, door wide open, music blaring, three times or more a day. It’s driving me mad. I don’t want to have to shut my windows every day.

TwoZeroTwoZero · 16/04/2020 13:08

Wearing headphones when you're with other people just seems even more antisocial than quiet music.

Fair enough, noone is demanding silence, that was a bit of an overstatement written in jest, but there are a lot of people here who are saying they hate any noise from their neighbours such as music, children squealing, power tools and gardening equipment.

I do have consideration for others btw; look at what I said about it being quiet despite the sounds coming from other gardens.

Original poster
Gruffalomom · 16/04/2020 13:10

Twozero yes this is what I mean by speakers - he isn't starting a garden festival :)

It's easily at or below conversational level, but i find even that level of music a bit annoying from the neighbours so I would much prefer he didn't play anything at all!

I think the comments here have persuaded him it's not just me being over fussy! Thanks x

OP posts:
YesThatIsMyRealName · 16/04/2020 13:11

"Wearing headphones when you're with other people just seems even more antisocial than quiet music."

So go inside then, or socialise without music. The rest of us are able to.

MsTSwift · 16/04/2020 13:11

Some families are horribly loud. Remember we were at a beauty spot in Devon near some waterfalls having a picnic. About 5 other families there kids of varying ages. All eating chatting playing. Not really aware of any of the other families as all being normal and pleasant. Then the LOUD family arrive. Shouting yelling everything top volume YELLING at each other adults and children. Dreadful. Everyone else quietly left. So sorry for their neighbours. The lack of self awareness is staggering.

roarfeckingroar · 16/04/2020 13:12

He's massively unreasonable

YesThatIsMyRealName · 16/04/2020 13:13

I find it crazy when people are told that many people find their behaviour rude or anti social but they continue to say it's not. If the majority think it is, you should at least consider following social norms.

Original poster
Gruffalomom · 16/04/2020 13:21

I find that crazy too yesthatismyrealname but clearly that's not what is happening here?

OP posts:
TwoZeroTwoZero · 16/04/2020 13:21

@YesThatIsMyRealName why should your desire for peace and quiet in your garden trump my desire to listen to quiet music in my garden? It is legal and it is acceptable. Try showing a little consideration and tolerance for others yourself.

rosiethehen · 16/04/2020 13:22

If my neighbour puts his intrusive music on my husband goes into the shed and plays Wagner or Berlioz loud enough for the neighbour to hear. He then turns his music down and we can all get on with our day.

People who inflict themselves upon others are selfish.

YesThatIsMyRealName · 16/04/2020 13:48

"Try showing a little consideration and tolerance for others yourself."

Well I don't have much fucking choice really, do I, since I can't control what others do.

But since most people here think it's inconsiderate, I would hope that would at least give you pause and reconsider your actions. I'm sure you would hate to be the sort of person who is bothering their neighbours.