I always SWORE I wouldn't do the bloody things, I don't approve of them, I think they are a symptom of the whole "gimme gimme" culture I so heartily despise, and the bloody party ought to bloody well be enough, and they should all say "thank you for having me" and be bloody grateful to be buggering off with a slice of squished cake wrapped in a tissue.
So WHY THE FUCK am I sat here trawling ebay for job lots of novelty finger monsters and little pots of silly putty?