Going out almost everyday - not essential

[Justasking321]

Me and my 2 kids have followed lockdown rules since this all started. Stayed indoors and have only gone out to buy food once a week. Friend I know with 1 child has never adhered to the guidance and gone out almost everyday day, shopping, park, out with friends, etc.. I have told her as well since the beginning of all this that I won't be doing playdates till this is all over. We've kept our distance. Was talking on the phone and I asked her what she was doing today. She said nothing just going for a walk (with her dc). Her ds and my ds have a quick chat on the phone and her dc tells mine, "We're going in the car to (friends) house. I'm going to play at his house". So she lied to me and her dc said what the real plan was. I don't know why she lied. She even went to visit her parents at the weekend an hours drive away because she had not seen them in ages. I can't believe she lied to me and feel different towards her now, even more so because they are putting other people's lives at risk by going out whenever they feel like it because according to her "they are sociable people and have no symptoms" 😟
AIBU- get over it and move on
IANBU- she lied and Is still not following government guidelines. Keep my distance friendship wise.

Leave her to it, she can walk every day and go to shops if she needs to. Her son or your son may have got it wrong regarding visting she could have dropped of essential supplies. Dont be hasty to judge, you may have got wrong end of stick! Just concentrate on doing whats right for your family

So this is essential medication but it’s obviously non prescription if you needed to trawl round for it, that literally no one else could get for you? You really need a back up plan in case you get sick ( everyone in your house will need to isolate too). You are woefully unprepared for this virus. Good luck.

Completely off topic but this is one of the oddest arguments I’ve ever seen on a thread. Pharmacies are often out of stock of less common medications. My DH has Crohn’s Disease - I had to go to 3 different pharmacies (which meant three separate outings, two of them by car) to get his medicines last week.

@Monkeynuts18 Won't it save time and effort to ring the pharmacy and check stock before setting off on a car trip?

@jingling yeah definitely but I tried that and they didn’t answer - I assume because they’ve got fewer staff or they’re busier than usual 🤷‍♀️

Your friend is being a tit. Its fine to take your dog / children for a walk but visiting and mingling with chums is not on.

Wow! Never mind your friend. You need to get your kids outside. Keeping them indoors is setting up all kinds of health problems for them. If you have a garden, get them outside to play. If you haven’t then at least take them for a walk every day.

We are oldies and our family is all grown up but we go out every day for a walk through the woods with our dogs and, with this glorious Spring weather, we sit out in our garden a lot. We can hear kids over the wall playing in their garden which is lovely to hear when we can’t see our own grandchildren.

For God’s sake get your children out in the fresh air. I can’t believe you’re keeping them indoors. It’s beyond cruel.

Well said ragwort. The whole I am being so virtuous and other people are evil is getting beyond funny. Volunteer or do something. Get a fucking life. The whole thing just proves how easily a police state could take over. All the xurtain twiches and go gooders reporting to the Gestapo.

Love all the people saying mind your own buisness .it's everyone buisness when we have nearly 800 people dying a day including children .How on earth does anyone know if they have it till they get symptoms by which time it's to late as you could passed it on to a dozen people .

Some comments say "let her get on with it, it's up to her". It is this attitude that spreads the disease.

I do a big shop Tuesdays and a top up on Saturday

That’s my lot, not even going out for exercise but luckily we have a decent size garden

Selfish people still going out should be reported

YANBU but she knows she is or she wouldn't have lied.

I can understand why you're upset and for what it's worth I'm with you on this one so it's up to you how far you run with it. It maybe that she lied to preserve your friendship or maybe she didn't want the judgement she so richly deserves, you know her better than us.

She lied and she's putting herself and others at risk, she's also going out multiple times unnecessarily, in my book that makes her a selfish douche.

I see at least one person already who has justified going out multiple times for essentials: no. Once a week is quite enough. We're not in a place now where essential items are hard to come by, that has passed and there's plenty of everything everywhere. And if there isn't what you want, go without.

Essentials are bread, eggs, milk, sugar, nappies, toilet roll etc and those are no longer in short supply. Everything else can be worked around. Everyone needs to get their head around that now because in the future we could very easily end up on rations like the war if this continues or god forbid we do end up in a WW3 at a later date.

The fact is these people exist and despite flouting the rules they are determined to make excuses and not take responsibility for themselves. There is always a reason why the rules don't apply to them.

It all depends how much she means to you? Is it just that you feel betrayed or does her refusal to put others before herself tap into a deeper issue?

I can't be friends with people who that stupid or selfish but I'm very upfront: all the people in my life know exactly where they stand and I would have zero problems telling them where to put their friendship but I'm at a point now where this is not an issue. I'm friends with like minded people: that's not to say we're not different because we're like chalk and cheese but we have the same moral compass as it were.

I’ve been living in the cupboard under the stairs since this started. I win.

I blocked the coronavirus topic - can you not keep your moaning to that board?

yabu. it's none of your business. You can go out once a day. your friend is a twat for visiting friends. You are winning the competitive lockdowning. Well done.

Look,its not up to you to police everyone.You do what you think is right.You cant insist on people doing what you think is right.Stop fretting

We are exercising daily. I have been going to shop once a week as got quite a lot of food delivered. You can go everyday if you need to. I just am trying to avoid going as much as possible.

She's out of order for visiting people, but I don't get why you've not gone outside for walks @Justasking321

Your title: Going out almost everyday - not essential

Nothing wrong with having daily exercise outside. Ideally once a day, more if you have a health condition or specific needs that requires it.

However the content re the friend:
Going out to visit friends and meeting up with people is clearly not what we should be doing, and is likely to be increasing the risk of passing on the city's.

FFS, the melodrama and catastrophising on this thread is hilarious. This is not a police state. We are not in prison. You're allowed to go out! More than once a day even! LOL at these lists of essential things and you're only allowed to buy them, everything else you work around.

I go out every day. We live in a rural area. My OH has been out 3x/today.

Plenty of people cannot do a shop once a week.

I just ordered some tanning lotion today.

Essentials are bread, eggs, milk, sugar, nappies, toilet roll etc

Hmm, I've had difficulty getting eggs, of guess pasta is covered by the etc., maybe baked beans, they still seem hardish to get hold of.

I'm also not sure that living on eggy bread is a healthy diet...

Report her in secret just like she keeps secrets and lies to you.

This is hilarious

I go shopping and don't even go out for exercise, oh i have a large garden

newsflash : going to the fucking garden is exercise. many people live in flats

BogRollBogoff said it all well, as have many others.

The main aim for each of us is to survive this. So most of us don't want to risk getting it, because it seems there's no way we can predict how it might go for us, apart from doing out best not to be overly fat.

So we have to avoid it until there's a vaccine or effective medication or both, and if some herd immunity is built up that will also help us.

The NHS seems to be doing extremely well, and stated that they now definitely have enough beds and ventilators. The PPE seems a bit more hazy.

So: although we are part of a national effort, we also have to look after ourselves as individuals.

Social contact, physical exercise, being outside (in the sun even) and not feeling trapped are all essential for our healthy survival. And we can achieve this very easily within the rules. We can go out to exercise. We can go to the food shop. We can go to Boots. But we must keep always in our minds that every single trip where we are near people, or where they have been, is a risk to ourselves. So, naturally, we should protect ourselves on these trips, and keep them to a minimum.

I felt quite freaked out by it to start with, with a nervous fear about catching it rising several times an hour. I've fallen into anxiety fatigue now, and have landed on the solid ground of if I don't go too near anyone, or anything that could have it on its surface, then I won't get it. But I also know people who think they're ok to meet friends and family, and this gets me so much, out of fear and also outrage, that I even had a lockdown nightmare last night, where I was shouting at them and insisting they get out of my vast loft-style apartment (my subconscious must have added that in as a bonus! I also had a delivery of enough smoked salmon to last a year!! And random lockdown-flouting acquaintance were turning up and eyeing it!!).

I would do as Bogoff says. Do your thing. Ignore her; let her catch it and/or add to the beneficial herd immunity. Give her a wide berth for a while when this all ends. And yes I think you will not feel as close to her as before. Because a fundamental difference between you has been thrown up. So the only thing really to feel upset about is the loss of a friend.

No wonder she lied to you haha. Judge much? It’s her life and her kids, not your business. You do you.

You can buy whatever you want from shops. Doesn't have to be 'essential' and yes, its fine to buy a single pint of milk or a newspaper too.