Going out almost everyday - not essential

[Justasking321]

Me and my 2 kids have followed lockdown rules since this all started. Stayed indoors and have only gone out to buy food once a week. Friend I know with 1 child has never adhered to the guidance and gone out almost everyday day, shopping, park, out with friends, etc.. I have told her as well since the beginning of all this that I won't be doing playdates till this is all over. We've kept our distance. Was talking on the phone and I asked her what she was doing today. She said nothing just going for a walk (with her dc). Her ds and my ds have a quick chat on the phone and her dc tells mine, "We're going in the car to (friends) house. I'm going to play at his house". So she lied to me and her dc said what the real plan was. I don't know why she lied. She even went to visit her parents at the weekend an hours drive away because she had not seen them in ages. I can't believe she lied to me and feel different towards her now, even more so because they are putting other people's lives at risk by going out whenever they feel like it because according to her "they are sociable people and have no symptoms" 😟
AIBU- get over it and move on
IANBU- she lied and Is still not following government guidelines. Keep my distance friendship wise.

I go for walks twice a day.

@hannabarbera People in my village have been spying and counting the number of times people are out walking.

The official advice is we can go out once a day for exercise.

I think some common sense is needed around this. I live rurally and I can't see the harm in a 200 yard walk along a deserted road to the post box and the same later in the day.

I;m more worried about people I know of who are inviting friends round for drinks (over the last weekend.)

Exactly, there is no definition of 'as infrequently as possible', like I said in my post.

If you have a car and could buy everything you needed in one trip, and have lots of space to store it all, and are organised enough to plan for a fortnight, yes you could manage once a fortnight.

If you don't have a car, there were lots of things missing when you went to the shop, you don't have the space to store a fortnight's worth of groceries for your household or you don't have the time and mental capacity to meal plan for a fortnight, turn it into shopping list, get everything on it, and stick to the plan, you might need to go far more often than this. Even in China, with very strict lockdown rules, people were allowed out to buy food every three days.

I know some people would like the rules to be that you can't leave the house to buy food until you have absolutely no food at all left in the house, but that's not the case.

jingling you can drive locally to exercise, or to access a dog walking field, just not miles and miles to a particular beauty spot.

Why do people keep talking about 'the spirit of the guidelines'? There is no 'spirit'. There is what's set down in law. And that is that you can go out to buy food, medicine and for exercise. Even if all of the above require separate trips. No loopholes needed, no 'spirit', the Actual Law.

Yup. We might need a sticky with this on it.

@JinglingHellsBells DH is working with benefits claimants, his workload has gone bananas. Thousands of new claims a week as opposed to under 100 a month ago. He takes half an hour for lunch so given the queue to even get into the shop is usually at least that, no time there. And when he finishes for the day he does the housework.

I have RA so not covered by at risk guidelines - it's just painful to walk far/stand in queues/carry lots of shopping. No family at all and no friends locally.

It's fine, I don't mind doing the shopping. I do mind people judging others for going out more than once a week or whatever though (not saying you have - your suggestions were constructive not judgy at all!).

@JinglingHellsBells 200 yard walk? 😂 id go round the bloody bend with that!

Yesterday i went for 4 miles in the morning alone and didn’t see a soul -checked on my sheep en route. Then last night i went for 3 miles with my daughter. Again seeing no one. I could go for hours where i live so very lucky.

@HugeAckmansWife I'm not sure you are right about driving to exercise.

Where does it say that?

Anyone can exercise outside their front door- walk round the street or jog etc. Might not be someone's first choice but it is walking.

Unnecessary car journeys means that. No one should be driving to find a place to walk.

And one person's short trip ( a mile?) could be another's 10, 20 or 30 miles.

I think you will find you are mistaken but happy for you to correct me if you can find the guidance in writing.

@hannabarbera It was an example. Clearly I don't want to out myself if my neighbours are reading.

I can do the same distances as you but neighbours are looking out of their windows and counting some people who pass by, going out, despite the fact the street is a means to access miles of deserted fields.

QuimJongUn Frankly if you need to shop everyday and four times in inte day you are breaking the rules. Thats not infrequent.

There’s nothing to stop you getting one of the many volunteers to get you a weeks worth of shopping. That’s the exact point of them.

Of course you don’t doing the shopping...it’s something to do, gets you out the house etc. Who really wants strangers shopping for you, no one.But don’t kid yourself that you are following the rules.

QuimJongUn Frankly if you need to shop everyday and four times in inte day you are breaking the rules.

No she isn't. If you disagree, please cite the part of the rules, not the guidance but the rules, that you think she's breaking.

@JinglingHellsBells of course. Cant have those net curtains twitching!

People in my village have been spying and counting the number of times people are out walking.

People in your village need to get a fucking life. This really is bringing out the worst in some people.

While there is no definition of 'as infrequently as possible' Nicola Sturgeon said that shopping for food should take place 'no more than once a day'

(I heard this clip on TV and it is documented on the BBC Scotland website - 23 March 21.40)

www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/uk-scotland-51998906

Therefore, if a government minister says daily is acceptable, restricting yourself to weekly or fortnightly if you need to go more often is not necessary.

Yes I wouldn’t waste my energy on her but yanbu because she is risking other people’s lives and it would name view her differently in future.

Change not name

Why would anyone need to shop daily?

This doesnt have anything to do with you, put your teeth back in.

YABU to ask her what she was doing that day.
Someone I know keeps ringing up and asking me this type of question. "What are you doing over Easter?"
Grrr.

jinglinghells
Unfortunately ministers (Mainly Hancock and Gove) have been making things up on the spot in answer to journalist questions.
Hancock said in question time that driving a short distance to somewhere you can exercise was ok and it was Gove who came up with the hour exercise but was again in an interview.
It’s really not helpful and that combined with lots of people’s insistence that they are special cases and others trying to look for loopholes and ways to get one over mean that there are far more people out every day than necessary.

How do you know the child is telling the truth and the adult is lying? The child could just be wishful thinking, or misunderstanding what he's been told they'll do once the ban is lifted. People are too quick to find reasons to judge and hate others in these circumstances. That worries me more than people going for daily (recommended) walks as a family.

barbara unless the OP lives in Scotland then what Sturgeon says is completely irrelevant.

Op is not going out at all apart from once a week for shopping?

So two children haven't had any walks for a couple of weeks?

That's quite shocking.

The guidelines also changed last week in response to threatened legal action to say it is ok to exercise more than once per day if necessary. It was in response to a challenge by parents of disabled children and I know has been a massive relief for some residential care places as well.

I'm interested in how people seem to know exactly where their neighbours are going! I know all mine but don't keep track of whether they've run out of paracetamol or need to drop some food to their mum...

@Leflic no I'm not. Go on, show me the 'rules' I'm breaking. The rules as in the Law though, not the MN rules, which seem to be something quite different.

FYI, the guidelines are that you should shop as infrequently as possible, not 'infrequently'. There's a difference. I'm shopping only as frequently as I need to, no more, no less. That's just the guidelines, however. The actual law says you should only leave your house for limited reasons which include shopping - but the law does not state how many times you may do this. I needed to go on four separate trips on the day you mention because three shops did not have my medication in stock. I'd say that was essential, wouldn't you? Or are those of us with excruciating autoimmune conditions meant to just suck it up and positively enjoy the pain because it proves we're following The Guidelines like good little quarantiners, and to do anything else is simply not 'in the spirit'?

And why would I rely on volunteers when there are people who need them far more than I do?

@Rebellenny could the teens wait outside the shop? Or could you use a wheelie suitcase (kind of like an old fashioned shopping trolley).

To those telling OP to keep her beak out, if the friend's actions only affected the friend I'd agree, but her selfishness/stupidity and that of the friends she is visiting can affect other people, so no, I wouldn't want to be friends with her.