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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed about my neighbours complaining

597 replies

BuzzingtheBee · 13/04/2020 22:27

About my children playing in the garden? And us playing music over the bank holiday weekend (not loud)? The children only play out when its nice weather so not that much, I’m happy they are outside and not stucknto ipads etc!

OP posts:
PilatesPeach · 14/04/2020 07:33

Depends - children playing outside no issue of course, constant noise or screaming as some cannot play without screaming it seems not ok. Other neighbours might like to enjoy their gardens without noise all the time and no one's rights to use their garden trumps the other. Music I think is unreasonable and trampolines seem to cause a lot of issues especially with no privacy for the NDR.

MaccaPacca81 · 14/04/2020 07:34

Children playing, laughing...fine.

Children bouncing a basket ball on concrete in a small terraced garden for 6 hour...not fine.

Playing loud music in the garden is a surefire sign the residents are chavs.

carriebreadshaw · 14/04/2020 07:35

So the people saying no music in gardens ever... surely every once in a while is okay as long as it's not loud?

It's one of life's little pleasures surely?

carriebreadshaw · 14/04/2020 07:37

I also really like the sound of children playing in the gardens around us

EveryLifeHasASoundtrack · 14/04/2020 07:38

Pelleas

🤣 Note/letter.... either way, you wouldn’t be getting one from me.

I really can’t believe what I’m reading. I might put a note through all my neighbours doors thanking them for not being intolerant arses.... when lockdown is over obviously.

I’ve only ever come across one neighbour who had a problem with children playing/music but she had a problem with everyone and everything. People just rolled their eyes and she was definitely ‘that’ neighbour.

itgetsthehoseagain · 14/04/2020 07:39

EveryLifeHasASoundtrack That's because the Mumsnetters are articulate, thinking people who would have a problem with being forced to listen to other people's selfish indulgences. The people who lack the capacity to recognise that they are being noisy and who protect themselves by citing their legal 'rights' clearly don't have the ability to recognise that this noise might be unwelcome, trashy behaviour.

itgetsthehoseagain · 14/04/2020 07:42

Carriebreadshaw How do you know that your "once in a while" doesn't clash with someone working nightshifts, someone needing to sleep in the day because they had a baby keep them up all night, someone who is ill and needs to sleep in the day, people trying to concentrate as they work from home...

Macncheeseballs · 14/04/2020 07:43

Carrie - indeed it is one of life's pleasures. I'm doing it right now with headphones on

EveryLifeHasASoundtrack · 14/04/2020 07:44

The people who lack the capacity to recognise that they are being noisy and who protect themselves by citing their legal 'rights' clearly don't have the ability to recognise that this noise might be unwelcome, trashy behaviour.

🤣 Mumsnet land is a whole different place to anywhere I’ve ever lived.

Meanwhile in real life people just accept that having neighbours means accepting a bit of noise, kids, music, dogs etc. 🤷🏻‍♀️

daisypond · 14/04/2020 07:46

So the people saying no music in gardens ever... surely every once in a while is okay as long as it's not loud? It's one of life's little pleasures surely?
For a very occasional party it would be OK. Our neighbours would warn us with a note, saying what time the music would be on. For lots of people, music isn’t a pleasure, definitely not other people’s. Generally no one ever plays audible music in the garden where I live - terraced houses and flats with back-to-back tiny gardens.

maddy68 · 14/04/2020 07:48

Our neighbours children shout all day. They literally cannot talk to each other. It's driving me nuts. They also play music fairly loud. Perhaps think about the volume and remind your children to talk and not shout, you are used to their volume levels so perhaps fone notice it quite the same. I am working from home and honestly I've been stuck in doors with the windows and doors closed because I can't make phone calls because of them. I'm sure my neighbours who are lovely btw, just don't realise their volume levels

Celticdawn5 · 14/04/2020 07:50

We have had to endure thumping music for hours on end with neighbours ‘enjoying’ their garden at the expense of others.
Not just the odd hour here and there but 6 or 7 hours at a time which, however tolerant you are, is tortuous. We couldn’t escape the thumping beat even with the windows and doors shut in the house.
totally bewildering why people are so inconsiderate and unaware that their actions cause misery to others

VivaLeBeaver · 14/04/2020 07:53

If your neighbours can hear the music it’s too loud.

My neighbours play music in their garden most days and it means for 18 years I have not been able to sit outside in my garden. I bought a house with a lovely big garden and don’t use it because of those fuckers.

You have a selfish attitude and I feel really sorry for your neighbours.

BovaryX · 14/04/2020 07:53

I also really like the sound of

This isn't about what youlike. The OP's neighbours have complained and given the OP's responses, it is not surprising. Your musical tastes are just that. Yours. Why should the OP's neighbours be forced to listen to her music? I am so pleased that the music I am surrounded by in my garden is birdsong. Not tinny, plastic garbage.

MarieQueenofScots · 14/04/2020 07:58

Someone should use the time on lockdown to invent a way of listening to music without inflicting it on others.

If only such a device existed.

NotEverythingIsBlackandwhite · 14/04/2020 07:59

I think in your case, if you've misjudged how annoying your music is to others then you've probably also misjudged the level of the kids noise.
This.

If the music was loud enough for them to hear then it was too loud.
If the kids were loud enough for them to hear then they were too loud. Grin

Jupiters · 14/04/2020 08:02

Children YANBU. Music YABU. I really hate listening to the sound of other people's music on a sunny afternoon. It travels far more than you realise
This.
Although you've clearly decided YANBU, so makes the whole debate a bit of a moot point.

BovaryX · 14/04/2020 08:02

If only such a device existed

Grin MarieQueenofScots
It's quite interesting that this thread shows some people are apparently incapable of grasping the concept that people's music choices are individual. And might not be greeted with collective approval by their neighbours.....

NotEverythingIsBlackandwhite · 14/04/2020 08:06

I think that people with noisy children get used to it and manage to filter out that noise. That is why so many accept the children but not the music.

If a neighbour was playing the music that you like it would be the same. You would be happy with it at as long as it was played at a level you were happy with.

For people without DC or with grown up children who have moved out, the noise of children is the same as listening to the kind of music you don't like.

Clutterbugsmum · 14/04/2020 08:09

When will people understand that we all live close to each other and so we are always going to have noise from our neighbours. I'd much rather hear children playing and music playing at a reasonable level then the continual building work.

If you don't want to hear the neighbours then you all better start working harder so you can all afford to buy a house in the arse end of nowhere so can't see let alone hear your neighbours.

Shoxfordian · 14/04/2020 08:11

Everyone wants to enjoy the nice weather
Noisy children are annoying op
Yabu

IrenetheQuaint · 14/04/2020 08:17

"For people without DC or with grown up children who have moved out, the noise of children is the same as listening to the kind of music you don't like."

I don't think this is necessarily true - I don't have DC but have no problem with hearing them playing in neighbours' gardens, in fact I rather like it (unless they are very loud). But I absolutely hate neighbours playing music in their gardens. Even if it was music I liked (which it never is) I would find it intrusive.

Umnoway · 14/04/2020 08:22

I’m with probably everyone else. I’d never play music in the garden but YANBU about the children making noise. Unless children are screeching from 6am till 11pm, people are just being miserable complaining.

Hannah021 · 14/04/2020 08:22

@Puffalicious or maybe you and your screechy noisy children can move elsewhere? Why should ur neighbours have to deal with it?
Its not like neighbourhoods can be segregated to tell ppl to move. Idiot.

Callcentreworker23 · 14/04/2020 08:24

Me and husband ended up having a argument as he put on his music and I said it is unfair to drown out all neighbours talking and enjoying outside. Neighbours were outside and will have heard as we are all attached houses. An hour later they proceeded to play dance music really loudly, I don't know if it was solidarity to my husband but we all went inside as he hates dance and it gave me a headache with the bass. Annoying but proved my point that music in gardens is rude and annoying unless you live in the middle of nowhere.