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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed about my neighbours complaining

597 replies

BuzzingtheBee · 13/04/2020 22:27

About my children playing in the garden? And us playing music over the bank holiday weekend (not loud)? The children only play out when its nice weather so not that much, I’m happy they are outside and not stucknto ipads etc!

OP posts:
ShoppingBasket · 14/04/2020 06:34

I work night shifts, I can tune out kids shouting and playing out on the estate. Music, especially the thump thump variety I can't and yes I wear earplugs now because my son is at home from school. When he is at school I have to be able to hear the phone in case of emergency so I can't

SchadenfreudePersonified · 14/04/2020 06:36

Children YANBU. Music YABU. I really hate listening to the sound of other people's music on a sunny afternoon. It travels far more than you realise.

I agree with Aluns

Other people's music is a PITA - children can be a bit irritating, but as long as they aren't screeching and shrieking, I wouldn't complain, personally. Kids are kids and need to run about and let off steam.

Screechy kids are awful, though.

Jojo19834 · 14/04/2020 06:39

So, you come on for a rant about your neighbours and when people have them said ‘kids fine, music not’ in a clear clear majority, you are ignoring them anyway? Isn’t it useful to know that virtually anyone would find the music annoying so maybe turn it off and let the kids enjoy the garden without neighbour hassle?! I think music on a birthday is acceptable but each time you use the garden isn’t (which is when your neighbours will also be trying to use theirs!)

youkiddingme · 14/04/2020 06:40

So even after a LOT of people said they think imposing your music on others is rude, inconsiderate and unacceptable, you still state you will be playing it when you want OP. So adding stress to others whose only escape is their garden is fine by you.
You didn't really want to know what others think and feel did you? Says it all really.

EveryLifeHasASoundtrack · 14/04/2020 06:41

It's the sort of thing that's OK (in my view) as an occasional thing, ideally with some warning, but day in, day out can drive you mad.

A warning? Like you want a letter or something? 😬

CeeceeBloomingdale · 14/04/2020 06:42

Children, fine as long as they aren't squealing or shrieking.

Music is irritating. Not everyone is at home having a 3 month long party, some of us are keyworkers who are working antisocial hours, weekends, bank holidays. Some work from home, some work shifts. Just be considerate and wear headphones!

whatevernext1976 · 14/04/2020 06:43

YABU - If you want to listen to music in the garden, put on earphone so you don't inflict your music taste on anyone else.

rjw209 · 14/04/2020 06:50

All things being equal (e.g. volume, frequency) there is no difference. Noise pollution is noise pollution, is it fair on couples without children to have to hear children play or scream - plus their parents accompanying vocals back to try and control the noise - and not feel obliged to tolerate the same from impact their music player?

There is free will in both.

echt · 14/04/2020 06:57

Music:

Party: OK
General background to your fuckwitted selfish existence: No
No-one likes your music, any more then they like your farts.

KatherineJaneway · 14/04/2020 06:57

Problem is, everyone who plays loud music outside thinks they have good taste in music. They rarely do. Hence my neighbour singing Starships along with Nicki Minaj offkey thinking we'd all want to hear it.

dontdisturbmenow · 14/04/2020 06:58

Happy for our neighbours to do it too!!
What about if it's loud creeching DIY sound on and off from 11 to 7pm, is that ok too. Actually, make it 7am, is this on too?

Going on your posts, I would bet you're the type of person who consider it perfectly acceptable to disturb others but who go ballistic when they are disturbed themselves. I would also get that your kids are not the type to okay quietly since clearly they need even more noise around them to enjoy playing.

IrenetheQuaint · 14/04/2020 06:59

Like others I hate my neighbours playing music in the garden - it's so intrusive and stops me being able to listen to the birds.

Children playing however is absolutely fine unless they're really screamy. It is a much more natural sound than amplified music and not generally constant in the same way.

I really don't see why children need or want music in the garden, all the children I have ever known have been perfectly able to entertain themselves in the garden without it.

Pelleas · 14/04/2020 07:04

A warning? Like you want a letter or something?

Of course not - Confused - we are talking about neighbours, so a simple note through the letterbox/text message, or in non social distancing times, a knock at the door and a conversation.

Macncheeseballs · 14/04/2020 07:09

' the children have had so much taken away from them' - music hasn't been taken away from them, they can listen to it in doors like my kids do - unbelievable

BovaryX · 14/04/2020 07:09

and if I want to play music there I will

Nice attitude. Nobody else wants to hear your music. I feel sorry for your neighbours.

CookPassBabtridge · 14/04/2020 07:13

Kids noise is of course fine and normal! If mine start screaming or shouting I tell them to be quiet.
I wear my headphones for music but some of my neighbours play it on a speaker, thankfully they don't play it loud.

AlwaysCheddar · 14/04/2020 07:14

Children playing, fine. Screaming and screeching, no. Music, no way.

BeardedMum · 14/04/2020 07:14

I voted YABU because of the music which is never acceptable and especially no my these days when people cannot escape from it.

Children playing out is fine although we have some neighbours whose children are yelling and just so loud I think the parents could ask them to turn it down a bit.

EveryLifeHasASoundtrack · 14/04/2020 07:16

Of course not - we are talking about neighbours, so a simple note through the letterbox/text message, or in non social distancing times, a knock at the door and a conversation.

A note....like a letter then. Wink I’m a reasonable person and get on well with my neighbours but there’s no way I would ‘warn’ them with a note that I was going to play music. To be fair, they’d think I’d gone a bit mad if I did this. I’m really thankful I live around tolerant people, who also play music in their garden.

Mumsnet is so bloody weird.

Sipperskipper · 14/04/2020 07:20

The only time we ever have music in the garden is if we have a birthday party / get together celebration with family & friends. That might be a couple of times a year, and it is quiet, background music.

General music when outside day to day is ridiculous. Why do the children need music when they can hear lovely garden sounds (birds / insects etc)?

You sound insufferable.

DysonFury · 14/04/2020 07:24

If we're in lockdown another 3 weeks I predict a surge of cases of neighbour murders when all the considerate folk finally snap (and fart).
I've trained our foghorn neighbours in that every time their extremely loud dog barks incessantly I shout 'shut that (occasionally bloody) dog up' and they are doing so. I am a hero in our 'hood Halo

tempnamechange98765 · 14/04/2020 07:24

Music yes YABU, I don't think it's fair on the neighbours either.

Kids YANBU. I've got a 4 and 1 year old. If my 4 year old is being too loud or having a tantrum I ask him to keep it down/go inside, but there's only so much I will tell him if it's the former and he's just playing.

I do feel a bit sorry for my neighbours who are attached during this lockdown as they must never get any peace, both kids are LOUD (semi detached). However they are both in bed at 6:30pm and I'm very conscious to take them downstairs as soon as they're up so there's no noise disturbance in the bedrooms too early.

But on the other hand, the same neighbour smokes weed in her garden every day (not all day, but on and off) as well as cigarettes, so we have to put up with that smell every now and then, we turn a blind eye. They are also not sticking to lockdown and popping out regularly Hmm which I'm also turning a blind eye to, as much as it annoys me.

Pelleas · 14/04/2020 07:26

A note....like a letter then

Not really. Letter:

[Their address] [Your address] [date]

Dear Mr and Mrs Brown

I am writing to inform you that we will be playing music in our garden between the hours of 2pm and 6pm on 14th April 2020. I trust this will be acceptable but please contact us on the following number if you have any queries or would like further information.

Yours sincerely

Mr and Mrs Smith.

Note:

Hi, Jane - just to let you know we'll be playing music in the garden this afternoon. Hope this is OK but give us a shout if we're too loud. John.

itgetsthehoseagain · 14/04/2020 07:30

Playing music so that it can be heard by neighbours is selfish. Why should they have to listen to you? The children, I think they should have sympathy with, but it depends on what the children are doing. A ball being repeatedly kicked against a fence or wall, or bounced on the floor would lead to me asking for it to stop, but happy play is quite fun to listen to!

EveryLifeHasASoundtrack · 14/04/2020 07:30

Why do the children need music when they can hear lovely garden sounds (birds / insects etc)?

I’m not sure who said the music is for the kids, my kids do love their music but I usually put music on for me, not the kids. I don’t have it loud and I find it relaxing.