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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed about my neighbours complaining

597 replies

BuzzingtheBee · 13/04/2020 22:27

About my children playing in the garden? And us playing music over the bank holiday weekend (not loud)? The children only play out when its nice weather so not that much, I’m happy they are outside and not stucknto ipads etc!

OP posts:
WaxOnFeckOff · 14/04/2020 01:16

Wording that should say.

theschoolonthehill · 14/04/2020 01:18

And if I want to play music there I will.

A certain part of society have this attitude. You won't change. You won't have many agree with you. Your neighbours will keep complaining. Your neighbours will wish you weren't their neighbour. You won't care because you are in the section of society that doesn't care how their actions impact other people. Do you also wear your pyjamas out and about and drink cans in your front garden? Nothing wrong with that either eh. I don't see the point of you posting at all.

Destroyer · 14/04/2020 01:28

Music : YABU and selfish

stardust40 · 14/04/2020 01:38

I'm not worried by kids or music (as long as it's not blaring or a heavy beat). Dogs yapping constantly however 😡😡

Rosebel · 14/04/2020 01:39

Depends I have no issue with children playing outside but next door drive me mad. Music is on in their house but loud enough so they can hear it in the garden. Unfortunately we can also hear it in our garden and in our sitting room, even when the windows are shut.
So I think you're being unreasonable about the music but let your children out as much as you want. It's not like they often get the chance.

munchsvu · 14/04/2020 02:06

Kids can play out without music. I'm guessing that's what really hacked them off. Want to listen to music use earphones don't be a selfish twit.

CJsGoldfish · 14/04/2020 02:07

Im not going to stop them enjoying music in the garden! And if I want to play music there I will

Why bother asking?
You were never going to stop no matter how many people thought you were BU. And most do with regards to the music.
If your poor little poppets can't have fun without it, who gives a fuck how many can't WITH it? Confused

agonyauntie2020 · 14/04/2020 02:16

Oh my goodness Bee, I'm glad I am not your neighbor. So so so so so many people saying YABU with the music and you're just like "if I want to I will" ~ why even start a thread then, if you don't want to listen to what people say?

+1 for kids, YANBU although if it was 11-7 without a break, I wouldn't do it, I'd bring them in for a couple of hours to give everyone a chance to be in their gardens with a bit of quiet.

But calling some posters "stupid" and essentially saying you aren't listening to anyone else's input on music ... this is YABU too, sorry.

Mrmojorising71 · 14/04/2020 02:24

I really don't understand the level of angst that's always expressed on this site over neighbours playing the radio or music in their own garden during the day. If you're not keen on next doors choice play your own, my memories of growing up are always accompanied by a soundtrack and it differs depending on where we where playing.

Thepigeonsarecoming · 14/04/2020 02:43

Loving this typical Mumsnet response. Question AIBU, response = your neighbours don’t want to listen to your music. OP “And if I want to play music there I will”

Why the fuck even ask? Unless you were after sympathy and tea?

expat101 · 14/04/2020 03:25

Totally agree Thepigionsarecomin I'm at a loss why the OP is asking after reading her responses so far.

EveryLifeHasASoundtrack · 14/04/2020 03:59

If the music wasn’t really loud, I’d just ignore your neighbours. Lots of our neighbours have had music playing whilst they’ve been in the garden over the last few days so luckily it’s normal around here. As for moaning about kids playing in the garden, some people are just miserable.

EveryLifeHasASoundtrack · 14/04/2020 04:03

I’ve only ever known mumsnet to have a problem with music being played in gardens. In my real life people play music at a reasonable volume and don’t live in silence.

WtfIsThisEven · 14/04/2020 04:11

I am genuinely shocked people are saying you can’t play music outside. Do none of you ever have parties then?

People around here play music all the time, it has never occurred to me to complain about it. You’re allowed to make noise between the hours of 7am-10pm.

Music is better than all the lawnmowers and power tools I’m hearing all day lately.

JudyCoolibar · 14/04/2020 04:34

The children have had so much taken away from them, Im not going to stop them enjoying music in the garden! And if I want to play music there I will.

Then don't complain about your neighbours complaining. They don't have to like your choice of music or the fact that you are inflicting it on them rather than taking the elementary step of using headphones.

Chottie · 14/04/2020 05:23

When I first moved into my home, one of my new neighbours came round, introduced himself and explained that the neighbours had an informal agreement of no music in the garden. He asked if I was happy with that - just bliss :)

EveryLifeHasASoundtrack · 14/04/2020 05:31

When I first moved into my home, one of my new neighbours came round, introduced himself and explained that the neighbours had an informal agreement of no music in the garden.

🤣🤣🤣 What happens when one day someone doesn’t go along with this ‘informal agreement’? 🙄

Mummyoflittledragon · 14/04/2020 05:50

YABU about the music. Unless your dcs have gone through something far more substantial than being asked to stay in for a few weeks, your comment about them having lost so much is pathetic. Fucking clueless in fact.

Mlou32 · 14/04/2020 06:14

@FNuts wiggles? Do you honestly not get why that would be annoying to people, nice day, people wanting to sit in the garden and having to listen to wiggles? If you want to play music, great, you've got a house to do that in. But why not have some respect for the neighbours and not force them to sit and listen to your music?

Underhisi · 14/04/2020 06:17

People who play music in the garden are selfish, particularly ar the moment as there is no way of avoiding the noise. Kids in the garden I would put under unavoidable noise but even then if you know you have neighbours that like it quiet, it is considerate to bring them in for a few hours a day.

rwalker · 14/04/2020 06:21

I think the music pissed them off so everything becomes worse and thats why the noise form the kids annoyed them.
As you said your kids have had so much taken away from them so has everyone else , but your neighbours also have there o/s space now dominated by your music so they have lost that as well.
I can't understand why you can't see how selfish it is .It's just basic respect , manners and realising the world does't revolve round you and being considerate to other people .

Meruem · 14/04/2020 06:23

The problem is some people just don’t know how to enjoy quiet time. They need noise all the time, music, TV on for “company” etc. My favourite thing is to sit in my garden listening to the birds. It’s peaceful and relaxing. I don’t want to listen to my own music let alone anyone else’s. I have no problem with kids playing. Next door has a 2yr old and I like hearing him having fun, which he is perfectly capable of doing without music!

pictish · 14/04/2020 06:29

I’m going to be a dissenter and say that playing music your garden is not a heinous thing to do. I think that people sometimes look for stuff to get outraged about tbh.
My neighbours sometimes play music in their garden and it doesn’t bother us at all. It’s not at top volume, it’s only occasionally and during the day/early evening. They sit out on their patio with friends and family, having a bottle of wine, with a speaker out. Or they garden and weed with a wee radio. We don’t care. In a sense it’s good because we feel less self conscious about our racket in return.

We both have bonfires and no one minds. Parties and get-togethers too! Can you imagine, mumsnet? Music AND bonfires...and no one complains. We all just live, let live and enjoy our gardens as we like.
Weird, I know.

Dontrainonmyparade · 14/04/2020 06:31

Music YABU. Why do people do this? Sometimes I put the radio on inside and sit on the patio listening to it and having a cup of tea. If I move on to the grass I can’t hear it. Because it’s normal volume inside, not out. We are detached and I guarantee the neighbours can’t hear it. But someone 2 doors down REALLY likes George Ezra I discovered this weekend. I don’t particularly mind him, but after a few goes on repeat I was feeling a bit murderous. Kids make noise, it’s life, I can’t get worked up about that - YANBU for the kids playing.

Pelleas · 14/04/2020 06:33

Children playing - fine, but I have to agree with others about the music. One problem is that if you have music from several gardens, it becomes an intolerable cacophony of clashing sounds, so the idea that the neighbours could play theirs too just doesn't work. It's the sort of thing that's OK (in my view) as an occasional thing, ideally with some warning, but day in, day out can drive you mad.