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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that people who end messages with ‘stay safe’

301 replies

Whatisthepoint2020 · 11/04/2020 06:34

Are twats?

Maybe it’s because DP is a key worker so doesn’t have the option to ‘stay safe’ but it gives me the rage.

OP posts:
Witchend · 11/04/2020 11:38

I'm working in a Covid-19 support place and I am finishing emails at the moment with "Be safe".
It's said entirely with meaning "stay as safe as you can" but also trying to say to that 93 year old lady, with a heart bypass and asthma that she is doing the right thing by staying in and staying safe, because a lot of them do feel that they should be doing more and need, well almost permission, to feel okay about staying at home.
The above lady told me that she was in full health and was worried about getting a food package delivered because her neighbours would think she was a fraud because they knew she normally went out for long walks. We have a lot of calls like that.

Zombiemum1946 · 11/04/2020 11:42

Maybe I'm naive, but as a keyworker about to return after sick leave, I thought it was nice of people to say it. I'm being redeployed and don't know where to yet, so massively bricking it. I can understand the feeling of, what do you think I'm going to do, stick my a arm in a jar of fetid virus riddled mucous (I used to have to wash them but they've moved to single use suction,so no longer a realistic option,but you get what I mean) ?
When you know your day will be exhausting and full of various bodily fluids and death, stay safe seems a bit crappy and pointless because you can't really do that. People mean well though and say it because they can't do anything else. I feel guilty because I'm not there yet to help and colleagues are now sick. One ex colleague has died. I'll feel guilty for going back because I've got kids and they're scared for me , they say stay safe.

mumsmas1 · 11/04/2020 11:42

I think if it makes you rage there is something wrong with you - its a reminder that we are supposed to be staying safe and its people who want to forget that that are causing the problems ...try saying it yourself ...its you thats the Tw*t IMHO...oh and stay safe !

Taddda · 11/04/2020 11:43

'Stay' I hear as a command...I had a 'Hope you and your family are 'Staying Safe' at the end of an email, it sort of promoted a response as in 'Yes we are staying safe!?' (following the guidelines etc...).

Its authoritarian sounding....

bumblebeefairy · 11/04/2020 11:44

No, every time I've said it I've meant it. Even to people who aren't family or friends. It doesn't mean that any of us can avoid getting the virus, just that I hope they are taking the best care of themselves they can, and are also lucky enough to escape this horrible virus.

SusanneLinder · 11/04/2020 11:48

My very first...Biscuit

SlipSlidin · 11/04/2020 11:53

“It sounds authoritarian”
“It’s a command”

What planet are you people on?

Pinkblueberry · 11/04/2020 11:58

You sound like you’ve been living under a long rock OP. ‘Stay safe’ isn’t a new thing and is commonly said to people who could potentially be in danger. I’m from a military family and ‘stay safe’ is often said to those out on deployment at the end of a message or phone call. It’s just a way acknowledging that someone is... oh do you know what, I’ll leave it there because I can’t believe I’m actually explaining this to someone Confused

Pinkblueberry · 11/04/2020 12:00

@Zombiemum1946 you’re not naive at all, some people on here are just plain batshit.

WarmSausageTea · 11/04/2020 12:03

some people on here are just plain batshit.

Same as it always was, but bloody hell, the balance is shifting. Maybe it’s a sign of the times.

Taddda · 11/04/2020 12:19

Maybe some people just don't like to be told to 'stay' (or 'sit', or 'fetch'....)...Hmm

Original poster
Whatisthepoint2020 · 11/04/2020 12:25

If it was coming from people who I know genuinely care then I don’t think I would bat an eyelid but when it comes from people who I actually don’t give a shit about me and my family and who are flouting the rules themselves then yes, I have a negative response to it.

A lot of posters who can see my point have put it more eloquently than me.

And as I’ve said above I have no issue with being called a twat or being told I’m unreasonable.

OP posts:
Mominatrix · 11/04/2020 12:26

I doubt that the OP will be back.

FaFoutis · 11/04/2020 12:29

YANBU
But I'm biased because the person I know who does this is a shit. He sends borderline aggressive messages with 'Stay Safe' at the end.

Gigabitten · 11/04/2020 12:30

when it comes from people who I actually don’t give a shit about me and my family and who are flouting the rules themselves then yes, I have a negative response to it.

Ah, well that's different. It's the same hypocrisy from those that clap for the NHS but still go out and meet up with other people.

I can see where you are coming from, now you've said that. In your shoes, yes, if I knew that these were the people who were flouting the rules and then saying "be safe", then yes, I'd be annoyed with it too coming from them - and it will tar others saying the same thing to me over time.

MogeatDog · 11/04/2020 12:34

Maybe we should say “find something better to do with your time than getting annoyed at stupid shit you can’t change”Smile

LittleFoxKit · 11/04/2020 12:39

During current times I do tell friends and family to stay safe as I would hate to imagine the alternative.
Yes some people may be limited in how safe they can stay, but everyone can do even something small to minimise their risks.
I say it more to friends and family who are elderly or in very high risk categories.
When everything is normal I use it if the situation calls for it, eg friends and family who may be going into a situation that involves more risk then usual, or those who are particularly vulnerable due to illness and disability.

I say it simply because I want my friends and family to stay safe, during the pandemic but also prior and post the current situation.

I can see why its frustrating, when people arent being provided the equipment and PPE to keep themselves as safe as they want to, but that's not the fault of people who are genuinely wishing you well.

ShastaBeast · 11/04/2020 12:45

@ineedsun to clarify - I find it weird when people say it to us and I don’t think we are going to deteriorate at this point. I don’t feel weird for others saying it and am very worried about family members who are high risk - we are quite likely to lose at least one or two of our parents. But it does risk seeming meaningless long term, like anything similar has become long term. And many others will be the same boat as us, no longer needing to be told to ‘stay safe’ from the virus as time goes on.

ShastaBeast · 11/04/2020 12:49

@Pinkblueberry very few people have family in the military these days. The forces have massively shrunk for one. It’s not unusual for people to be unfamiliar with its use. I have two uncles in the military and never heard it but it would have to be very close family.

Taddda · 11/04/2020 12:52

Maybe we should say “find something better to do with your time than getting annoyed at stupid shit you can’t change”

Who's getting annoyed...?Wink

HarrySnotter · 11/04/2020 12:56

'Stay' I hear as a command...I had a 'Hope you and your family are 'Staying Safe' at the end of an email, it sort of promoted a response as in 'Yes we are staying safe!?' (following the guidelines etc...).

Its authoritarian sounding....

Christ on a bike. 😂 What a load of shite.

Sunshineandeggshells · 11/04/2020 12:56

My DCs dad is a fire fighter. I tell him to stay safe....always have. Now more than ever.

mumsmas1 · 11/04/2020 13:01

@HarrySnotter
I totally agree get over yourselves its people refusing to do as they are told and think they know better that are ruining this countrys economy by slowing down the final release from lockdown - Christ if people cant even behave themselves for the health and wllbeing of the country then WTF...and Im guessing many of the same people voted for Brexit.....

CustardySergeant · 11/04/2020 13:03

justanotherneighinparadise How the fuck can it be a threat?

SlipSlidin · 11/04/2020 13:08

“A lot of posters who can see my point...”

Not really “a lot” op, don’t kid yourself.

Also I think you have bigger issues if you are surrounded by people who “don’t give a shit” about you or your family.

Maybe that’s why you’re so angry op.