AIBU to think hubby should stop going to the shops?

[tumpymummy]

Prior to all this coronaviurs I would do the main shopping for our family, but hubby would often pop to the shops to pick up milk and bread (particularly as there is a particular bakers that he likes the bread from). Plus somedays he wold pop to the small Sainsburys near where he works and bring home reduced items for dinner. Since lockdown I have been going to the shops once every 7 days to do a big shop, wearing gloves and then wiping everything down once I get home. We literally have a house full of food! Cupboards and freezer are full. Yet hubby is still going to the shops near work and bringing home the odd thing. I have told him on numerous occasions that I am not happy with this as everytime he goes to a shop he exposes our household to unnecessary risk. The other night I got upset and told him that I felt he was disrespecting my wishes. His argument being that it is fine because the shop near him is nearly always empty and at the bakers they all stand in line 2m apart. The other day I also told him that I didn't expect an easter egg from him, that I had picked some up for the kids with my weekly shop and my gift would be for him not to go to the shop. So last night he came home with more bread and some cider (for me). We have three f*g loaves already and 8 cans of cider that I bought in the weekly shop. I just dont get why he is not hearing me? I am more upset about the fact that he is completely ignoring my requests. I couldn't bear to be near him last night so avoided him all evening, watching TV in our bedroom. I am not normally someone who can do the whole 'not-talking' thing and now it is a new day I am wondering if I am over reacting?

Well, I think that if he washes his hands after and minimises risk that is OK. Could wipe his shopping also if it helps.

Yeah as long as he's following safety precautions then he should be ok.

Men don't like being told what to do, do they?

I don't see the issue. From what I've heard it's hard to get the virus from shopping but if you clean packaging it's fine unless this advice has changed in the last few days?

I wouldn't be too pleased if my partner thought they could tell me not to go to a shop. Especially if I have to work outside the home anyway.

What morecoffeerequired said. He is being a pathetic twat and deliberately not hearing what you say because he knows best and he doesn't like being told what to do.
The very height of immaturity. The type that gets people killed.

He is taking unnecessary risks going out for things he doesn't need. He's not only putting you at risk but other people/staff in the shop. I bet he is pissing off the staff in that shop - they have no choice but to be in work, and people are supposed to be shopping for essentials once a week.

My local village shop has had to put a notice up as some people were popping in 3 or 4 times a day for bits and bobs like a chocolate bar or a packet of crisps

YABU for referring to your husband as "hubby" for starters......now, what was your question again?

@Katinski 😂

Sorry for the comment but it's really a pet hate of mine. Unlike my neighbour's cat, who's sauntered in and is now curled up on the only really comfortable chair I own.
AIBU unreasonable to just, well, let her stay there?

@Katinski yup!

Call your 'hubby' what you like, who cares. But yanbu. Random small shopping trips is completely against the spirit of what we are meant to be doing.

Yeah, he shouldn't be going into shops unnecessarily and 'popping in' for things you don't need is not necessary.
I ran out of wine and I won't be getting any until I do my weekly shop because it would be irresponsible to go into a shop just to get wine when I'm already planning to go tomorrow.

But he’s already out going to work so stopping by a shop on the way home is not any additional risk so long as social distancing is maintained and hygiene practised.

If he were making special trips from home to a shop, you’d be in the right.

In fact, since he already has to go out for work, he should be doing all the shopping. You going out just to shop is more risk.

My husband is just the same. Can't resist popping to the farm shop on his way back from a dog walk. Yesterday he justified it by buying half a dozen eggs and some sausages with his magnum ice cream, bringing our egg tally to 18 as I'd done the big supermarket shop the day before. I can't seem to get through to him either, so I empathise.

people are supposed to be shopping for essentials once a week.

The once a week is not in the lockdown rules. You can go out every day if you need to so long as it is essential things you need.

You are giving him the silent treatment. That's BVU. Poor hubby.

If I had a partner like you I think having the silent treatment would be a blessing.

Uh oh. The shopping police are out! I think you're being a bit controlling op. I have to go out most days because I have three teens with Hollie legs and can't get everything I need in one go because I go later in the evening when it's quieter.

He is being ridiculous. The rules are clear. Go shopping as infrequently as possible for essentials. These are not normal times and we all have to adjust our behaviour instead of trying to find ways around the rules that enable us to carry on as before. I get you OP and you be annoyed in any way you choose. I hope he damn well listens. I am so fed up with the excuses.

He has to go out to work, so I assume he is already around other people.

And I wish people would stop with the shopping once a week rule that MN has made up.

You are being controlling.

He’s buying stuff they don’t need though, isn’t he? Bread and cider when they already have some in the house. So it isn’t essential and he shouldn’t be doing it. It would be different if you actually needed the things he’s buying.

It is increasing the risk to others by going into a shop when he doesn't need to. He's seeing people at work then going close to other shoppers and shop staff.
I don't know why people don't get this. The once a week thing is just sensible since most people do a weekly shop already - it makes sense to buy a bit more in the weekly shop then avoid going during the week! Obviously it's not law, but it is common sense. There is nothing essential that needs buying more often than weekly.

This:
He is being ridiculous. The rules are clear. Go shopping as infrequently as possible for essentials.

Not this:
But he’s already out going to work so stopping by a shop on the way home is not any additional risk so long as social distancing is maintained and hygiene practised

He is going to work. He may be an asymptomatic carrier of the virus. He does not need to add more risk to himself, others in te shops or community, or his family, by popping in to shops on more visits than are really needed.
Every contact adds up but it's not possible to eradicate all risks, but stupid to take unnecessary ones.