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Original poster

to ask for your thoughts on a ‘period box’ for DD

230 replies

MoonBlood · 08/04/2020 09:37

So the time has come for my eldest DD (12) where she’s had her first show of blood overnight. We’ve talked previously about periods and that they will come one day and I mentioned getting her a bettybox when they do which she was enthusiastic about, but I’ve just searched for them online and they seem to be no more? (A bettybox was a box with a few ‘treats’ and a bit of Sanpro for tweens/young teens)

She seems happy enough to talk to me about it albeit a bit on the shy side. She’s had a cuddle and a little chat with me this morning and as I’m not able to get the box as I wanted to I thought about maybe making up a little box myself.

Thoughts were a few hot choc sachets, some paracetamol, a pack of pads, and also a a cloth bag for her to put her underwear into so she’s not embarrassed to put them in the wash and no one else will see them. Maybe some chocolate and a magazine or similar, she’s already got a hot water bottle.

Is it a good idea or is it a bit cringe? It’s one thing to get a parcel delivered with those things but it might be different coming from mum? I considered maybe leaving it in her room/on the bed so she’s not forced into a big talk or anything, it might be seen as a nice little treat or could be utterly mortifying for her! I think she’d like it but wanted to gauge some opinions first please?

OP posts:
EmmaC78 · 08/04/2020 12:54

Sorry but I think it is cringe too. As others have said it is a normal part of life for half the population and nothing to make a big deal of. I would have hated it if my mum had done that.

Saladmakesmesad · 08/04/2020 13:05

I think it’s very sweet - I’d have loved this when I started and so will my daughter when it’s her turn. All very well having the ‘crack on with it’ attitude but lots of girls feel hormonal, scared, sore, fed up etc when it starts. It doesn’t set them up for anything to say ‘Hey, here’s a few things you might like or need’ and give them a pretty box.

I recently broke my leg and some friends sent me a pretty box of little treats (soap, choc, lip balm etc). Did it make me cringe and set me up to feel that the ‘normal bodily function’ of bone healing was an ordeal? Nah, it was just nice.

MissingLinker · 08/04/2020 13:10

Was 12 as well and I remember getting a box of pads, tampons and a whispa bar. I knew where paracetamol was when I needed it.
There's a balance between spending a week every month in self care mode and dismissing it completely. I had quite bad and very irregular periods to start with (though nothing compared to some of the horror stories on here) and it was shit, frankly. With the exception of missing swimming at school occasionally, the impact probably wasn't massive but I would spend a day or two each month feeling a bit sorry for myself. While I wouldn't have wanted a big fuss, I'd have hated even more for it to be dismissed completely.

strivingtosucceed · 08/04/2020 13:26

My mum didn't mention anything about my period till i'd already had it for 3 years! I would have loved a thoughtful box full of different types sanpro and other bits. Periods are a huge thing to pre-teens & teens and just because you won't talk about it with them doesn't change that.

Better to have in depth conversations about product choices, their effect on the environment and even about PMS and cycle tracking. I'd have been less embarrassed about staining/pain if I knew it what was and wasn't normal during my period and i'd have been more likely to speak up about my worst symptoms.

XoXoXo2 · 08/04/2020 13:29

Can you be my mom please?? That sounds so nice!

XoXoXo2 · 08/04/2020 13:29

PS totally doing this for my little girl when she's older!

ShagMeRiggins · 08/04/2020 13:33

It would never have crossed my mind to think my daughter was going to think her brother knowing was an issue

It did cross my mind so I gave my daughter options. Everyone in the house knows, as I said previously we’re factual about biology, but also supportive.

In her case, she doesn’t want her toiletries in the shared bathroom because the boys tend to a) use it (shampoo) and b) muck about with it (pad on head, ha ha, oh how hilarious).

They’re teenagers. They’ll grow out of it. She simply wants some privacy and her own space.

Scissorsnglue · 08/04/2020 13:35

I think it would have been nice to have a few different types of pads to try.
I would not give open access to paracetamol to a 12 year old.

FreckledLeopard · 08/04/2020 13:35

Seems a bit OTT to me. I'd just offer tampons or towels (I used tampons from my first period, so did DD). And I see no issue in having paracetamol available - she's 12, not 2, and surely knows how to take a couple of tablets?

I'd have been mortified if I got a period box. I don't think DD would have been particularly enthused either. I think we're just a family of 'get on with it'.

Charoltteli · 08/04/2020 13:40

I recently broke my leg and some friends sent me a pretty box of little treats (soap, choc, lip balm etc). Did it make me cringe and set me up to feel that the ‘normal bodily function’ of bone healing was an ordeal? Nah, it was just nice

It’s a bit different though. Your leg being broken was an injury so presumably it was an ordeal when you broke it. Breaking bones isn’t a standard cyclical thing to be normalised, it’s obviously something you want to avoid hence your friends did something lovely for you to cheer you up!
I hope your leg is better now Flowers

Figgygal · 08/04/2020 13:41

I think it totally depends on the child I would’ve been absolutely mortified to have had something like that

Floralnomad · 08/04/2020 14:23

shag , if you’ve sons that will do that I can see your point , it’s not something my son would have done and they didn’t share a bathroom anyway .

Poppi89 · 08/04/2020 14:44

I have a DD coming to that age and I have been wondering what I can do. I think a special box in her room is a nice thing and you can check it's fully stocked etc. It gives her chance to be able to look through the items in the privacy of her own room. When I was young I had to just get them from the shared bathroom and felt embarrassed if I'd had a leak and had to hide my underwear as I went past everyone. I would have some in the bathroom any way in case she needs them there.

My DD is really worried about getting her first period so I have said it's good because you get to eat chocolate, so I will definitely be putting chocolate in there! I am going to look into period pants too I've never heard of them before.

JasonPollack · 08/04/2020 14:55

I don't understand why you would lean in to the embarrassment. If you teach her that she is right to be embarrassed you are doing her a disservice. Dirty knickers go in the wash with everything else, not in a special UNCLEAN bag. JFC.

SarahTancredi · 08/04/2020 15:03

Yes but in the middle of the night when they dont want to disturb sleeping parents or siblings depending on where the laundry basket is, or at a friends house or relatives house etc where you wouldnt be putting on their wash pile a wet bag of some kind is very practical. It's not about embarrassment

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 08/04/2020 15:05

I'm getting angrier and angrier with the minimisation on this thread. Period pain is a real thing for quite a large proportion of women and it is quite likely that if a mother has suffered (yes, that is the correct word for it) from dysmenorrhea, then their daughter may, too.

helpmeout6 · 08/04/2020 15:09

I was soooo embarrassed when I got my period - I would lie and say I hadn't got it yet even at 16, when in fact I got it at 11. I was embarrassed to tell my mum! A box like this would have really helped me I think - just to know it's normal, it is fine, and that the pain is also normal. Maybe just a note to explain cramps happen and if they do to let her know if it's bad? I used to throw up and I still have awful pain despite being on the pill, I needed mefamefic acid just to feel somewhat human!

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 08/04/2020 15:26

So I think a period box or whatever you want to call it, is a nice idea to perepare your daughter, and the occasion for a discussion as to what might be happening to her body, along with an explanatory book if you don't want to get too techinical yourself. Just throwing them san pro and leaving them to get on with it is not necessarily the way to go for all women.

cinammonbuns · 08/04/2020 15:33

What is wrong with the paracetamol? Surely a NT 12 year old can be trusted with some bloody paracetamol.

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 08/04/2020 15:35

Thanks, cinammonbuns, was beginning to think I'd lost it - a period box is too twee or precious for some, but the same child can't be trusted not to overdose on paracetomol? Seriously?

Scissorsnglue · 08/04/2020 15:46

Then put about four tablets in the box. A packet is too much. Of course 12 year olds can't be trusted to fully think through all risks and consequences, or they would be living alone and allowed to drive etc. I think parents should have an overview of medication being taken by their children - it isn't hard for her to ask you for more tablets if she keeps needing them.

Squidsister · 08/04/2020 15:49

It’s a nice idea but my DD would have been a bit embarrassed by all the fuss. Surely also a lot of this stuff you would have discussed before now anyway? I gave DD a puberty books a few years ago.

I did get her a nice box for the bathroom with a variety of sanpro in it and I keep it well stocked. We had a lesson about how to wear a sanitary towel.
For her school bag I got her a nice toiletry bag to put all her bits in.

She has some period pants which she wears as additional protection so she doesn’t leak.

It’s all helpful but I think better to talk about it as a normal part of life?

Magazines she doesn’t really read - paracetamol are in the medicine cabinet and she knows she can ask for it anytime.

SarahTancredi · 08/04/2020 15:52

Some kids are used to medicating themselves. Inhalers etc

Scarydinosaurs · 08/04/2020 16:09

I think it’s lovely

Holothane · 08/04/2020 16:13

I’d love this even now, yes I’m a soppy devil I know. If you think she’ll like I then go for it.