Do you kiss your kids on the lips

[louise5754]

Mine are 8 and 10.

Myself, DH, My Mum and Step Dad Sister and Brother in Law kiss my kids on the lips.

My brother and sister in law prefer to kiss them on the cheek.

They prefer not to kiss DH family at all so don't.

If they don't feel like giving family a kiss they won't. It's just something they have always done.

My mum sometimes kisses me on the lips and I kissed my grandparents on the lips until they passed away.

My friend has said she's never kissed her boys on the lips.

Mine are girls not that it makes a difference.

I'm not sending you links to my qualifications LaurieMarlow as that would be incredibly outing. And, even if I provided said links, you are so determined to be right that you will wriggle around the facts to support your own behaviour.

Be happy that you don't have any understanding of how groomers work, it's not pleasant reading.

However, if you are really curious, you can do your own research.

With the extended family and friends, it's never been on the lips. I agree that DCs should never be forced to kiss, hug or sit on the knee of anyone, even close family, if they don't want or feel comfortable to. Hand or arm holding for safety reasons, like by a road, is the only thing I think should be insisted on. They should grow up confident that physical contact is their choice, not something to be enforced or that they should be cajoled or shamed in to, and that they will be listened to.

I'm not sending you links to my qualifications

I’m not looking for links to your qualifications. But the academic, reviewed studies that your professional guidelines will be based on.

Without that, all I have are some random’s opinions on the internet. Not convincing.

My toddler kisses me on the lips, she´s only 20 months, I kiss her on the cheeks, forehead etc She will grow out of it by imitation as she gets older. I don´t think it matters right now.

@SleepOhHowIMissYou

I am a safeguarding professional and I also think you are talking rubbish and trying to present your personal opinion as established fact. You can certainly provide links to credible safeguarding guidance which would back up your assertion that lip kissing "blurs boundaries regarding appropriate behaviour and leaves children more vulnerable to sexual abuse" without posting your qualifications.

Not without first googling and then copying links Iwalkinmyclothing, and I'm not prepared to have that in my search history.

You say you're trained in safeguarding but don't seem to understand how groomers work or how kissing erogenous zones on a child could lower their natural inhibitions.

Perhaps you'd like to post your evidence to discredit me?

Not without first googling and then copying links Iwalkinmyclothing, and I'm not prepared to have that in my search history.

Convenient

Perhaps you'd like to post your evidence to discredit me?

Not aimed at me I know. But you appear to misunderstand arguing on the internet. If you make a controversial statement, you back it up. You’re trying to convince us. I’m not going to believe something because a random on the internet tells me too.

And yet you're trying to convince me it's harmless LaurieMarlow, where's your evidence?

And yet you're trying to convince me it's harmless LaurieMarlow, where's your evidence?

I have never seen ANY public pronouncement or official advice against it.

And I’m not trying to convince you to kiss your own children on the lips, that’d be weird.

Just letting you know that your opinion doesn’t influence me one jot.

To clarify.

Weird for me to tell you what to do with your own children. I don’t want to be deliberately misinterpreted here.

I did when my son was a toddler and I still kiss my 1yo on the lips... just because that's how they kissed me and I'm not going to turn away from them I think that's sad... I find I have stopped kissing my son on the lips now hes nearly 5... I didnt do that deliberately it just seems to be how it is now.
My family are Italian and they all kiss each other on the lips even as full grown adults! I couldnt do that I'm afraid lol.... but I dont think its weird at all.. it's just not traditionally what we do in the uk

I have a 5 month old and a 2 year old - both boys and I kiss both on the lips. I will continue to until they don’t want to.

A quick google brought up the opinion of Charlotte Reznick PhD, a child educational psychologist, an Associate Clinical Professor Emeritus of Psychology at UCLA, and author of the LA Times bestselling book The Power of Your Child's Imagination: How to Transform Stress and Anxiety into Joy and Success.

She's quoted in this article called 'A Psychologist Explains Why It’s Better to Stop Kissing Your Children on the Lips'

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/brightside.me/inspiration-family-and-kids/a-psychologist-explains-why-its-better-to-stop-kissing-your-children-
on-the-lips-795025/amp/

Now, let's see you pick holes in Charlotte Reznick's arguments LaurieMarlow. Bear in mind that her arguments are the same as mine. When you do try to pick holes, bear in mind that I told you that was why there was no point posting any 'evidence' because you are determined to be right and not open to any other viewpoint.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/brightside.me/inspiration-family-and-kids/a-psychologist-explains-why-its-better-to-stop-kissing-your-children-on-the-lips-795025/amp/

Link that works.

@SleepOhHowIMissYou I don’t think we need links from psychologists to convince people it’s wrong. Each parent will do what they think is best and natural with their own children. I just don’t understand why anyone would think kissing their children is sexual.

Yes one person’s opinion on the internet. That’ll do it.

You’ll find all kinds of shite on the internet.

I’m looking for an actual study. Not random opinion.

Can I also add that my parents showed me very little affection and subsequently I grew up not feeling all that love.

Anyway, when I was about 12 and an old man came over to me and felt my bum as I stood waiting at a bus stop, I was very scared and didn’t know what to do. Unfortunately, I didn’t have that closeness with my own parents to feel able to tell them.

My point is, had they shown me the unconditional love that I show my kids, maybe I would have felt able to open up to them.

I do and will continue to kiss my DD’s on the lips and if we/they grow out of it, then that’s totally fine.

A little peck on the lips is my way of showing them that love and affection I sadly went without. I haven’t seen it do them any harm thus far.

I posted the link because I was asked to Ilikebigbuts, my training covered all this, it's not for my benefit but to back up what I'm saying although, as I said, LaurieMarlow is RIGHT of course, and the eminent Child psychologist quoted is WRONG. Well, how 'bout that, shocker! 😂

To answer your question, Dr Charlotte Reznick has warned parents against kissing their children on the lips because the act is “too sexual” because the mouth is an erogenous zone. A kiss on a child’s lips “can be stimulating” and potentially confusing to children. "If mummy kisses daddy on the mouth and vice versa, what does that mean, when I, a little girl or boy, kiss my parents on the mouth?” she said.

Of course, you can disregard everything I say, that's your prerogative, but a quick scroll through this thread will show you that a lot of people find the act weird, creepy and disgusting.

I asked for the pros to kissing kids on the lips earlier. I've yet to be given one that can't be accomplished though normal affectionate displays of hugging and cheek/head kissing.

"A psychologist explains..." is just more opinion, not safeguarding guidance robustly supported by evidence.

One persons opinion, with no references to any kind of studies don’t cut it I’m afraid. Try harder.

I said upthread I don’t want to put limits on loving affection gestures with my kids. Why would I?

It is the opinion of an expert Ilikebigbuts and LaurieMarlow...and, as I said, it wouldn't matter who was quoted because you are not open to any other opinions.

it wouldn't matter who was quoted because you are not open to any other opinions.

Hand on heart, if you post a study published in a peer reviewed academic journal, I will read it with great interest and take its findings on board.

This is just a puff opinion piece in an Ezine.

@SleepOhHowIMissYou I just think that it’s something that each parent and child can decide themselves. There’s no right or wrong. That expert disagrees with it, but there will be others who don’t. It’s not about me not being open to other opinions, I just have a different one. I don’t think you’re wrong in what you say, my opinion is just different.

Any physical contact with my child is not sexual in my mind. My little boy loves a cuddle in bed. However, so does my husband. With my husband, cuddling in bed could be considered sexual. Does that mean I shouldn’t let my 2 year old in? I think it’s the intention that matters.

The article is not the point LaurieMarlow. It's the opinion of the quoted expert within that is the point. An opinion that happens to tally with every con that I've raised against kissing children on the lips.

So far, you've not managed to provide one positive for lip kissing that cannot be achieved by hugging or kissing away from an erogenous zone. Not one!

So far, you've not managed to provide one positive for lip kissing that cannot be achieved by hugging or kissing away from an erogenous zone. Not one!

I’ve explained my view. You’re not listening. No problem.

Once again, show me a link to a piece in a peer reviewed academic journal and I WILL listen. Not a puff piece with no actual research behind it,