Do you kiss your kids on the lips

[louise5754]

Mine are 8 and 10.

Myself, DH, My Mum and Step Dad Sister and Brother in Law kiss my kids on the lips.

My brother and sister in law prefer to kiss them on the cheek.

They prefer not to kiss DH family at all so don't.

If they don't feel like giving family a kiss they won't. It's just something they have always done.

My mum sometimes kisses me on the lips and I kissed my grandparents on the lips until they passed away.

My friend has said she's never kissed her boys on the lips.

Mine are girls not that it makes a difference.

You say a kiss on the lips is not always sexual but how does a child tell the difference?

This. Children are not masters of context.

No I don’t, mine are 12 and 13 though. I don’t kiss my mum on the lips either. I don’t see anything wrong with it though with parents. Not other family members though.

I never have. Not that I think there's anything wrong with it - it's just never occurred to me. I kiss them on the cheek, top of the head etc and they get lots of cuddles.

Let's look at the pros and cons.

Cons: blurs boundaries regarding appropriate behaviour and leaves children more vulnerable to sexual abuse. Can spread germs both ways, which can prove fatal. Can pass on herpesvirus for life. People will judge you for doing it.

What are the pros? I don't do this so I need to know what you and the child are getting out of mouth kissing as opposed to having hugs and cheek/head kissing instead.

Cons: blurs boundaries regarding appropriate behaviour and leaves children more vulnerable to sexual abuse. Can spread germs both ways, which can prove fatal. Can pass on herpesvirus for life. People will judge you for doing it.

Jesus, what a load of total bollocks. I’m so glad my mind doesn’t work like this.

SleephowImissyou, I totally get what you are saying and find it difficult to believe so many people do kiss children on the lips. I have honestly never seen anyone do that in real life, it's just inappropriate.

Only person I kiss on the lips is my Husband. Teenage Son isn't kissy now but tells us he loves us and us him. My parents aren't kissy either but when we do its on cheek.

Which part of it do you disagree with LaurieMarlow?

No pros to give me I see. Just a suggestion that it's me who's warped. That's the defence Michael Jackson used when Martin Bashir questioned why he slept with pre-pubescent boys he wasn't related to; "people are sick in the mind".

Seriously, what are the pros? What do you or the child get from kissing on the lips that a cheek kiss just can't satisfy? Please enlighten me.

I kiss DD2 (10) on the lips and she me but not DD1 (teenager). She has ASD/LD and doesn't rate kisses a lot. I am allowed to give her a kiss at the tip of the nose at bedtime though.

Grandma had the sad story of the child catching herpes and died that stuck with us. Yes it was a true story

Kiss on the top of the head always did us fine

No pros to give me I see

It’s a lovely, affectionate gesture (to those of us not hysterically associating it with sex).

I see no value in limiting lovely affectionate gestures personally.

My toddler loves giving kisses on the mouth.

I genuinely worry about adults who cannot comprehend the difference between a parent giving a child an affectionate kiss and an adult giving a sexual kiss. Makes you wonder what has happened to them to cause this confusion and angst.

What missy said.

I kiss my baby on the lips, I don't see anything wrong with it personally

No not on lips kills babies if they get cold sores. Mine are 5 an 10 girls give kisses all round head and face not on lips

Yes, my daughter is one. Trying to teach her she can kiss without openings her mouth wide though

Still kiss my dad on the lips, kissed my mum on the lips till she died. Why wouldn't you (assuming you're cold sore-free)?

No. I was when an ex's mother kissed him on the lips. Nothing wrong really but I never kissed my parents in the lips.

Yes. Not the eldest but the younger ones. Am hoping it will wear off as they grow older as I can't see me being comfortable with it when they're grown ups. I remember being quite horrified when a boyfriend kissed his mum on the lips, but then my parents never kissed me on the lips.

To me, sexualising a parent kissing a child on the lips is on the same wave length as sexualising breast feeding.

I kiss my children on the lips. It’s a quick peck and nothing that could make them think that someone kissing them in a sexual way was okay.

So Missy and Laurie, you're just using the standard 'it's your problem' defence again without answering the question.

What are the pros? Yes, it's affection, however, so is head/cheek kissing.

There was a poster on here who had been groomed and sexually abused and they told you that a child is not equipped to distinguish between loving lip kisses and sexual kisses, or do you think your children are more sophisticated?

There's clearly something in it for you to be so defensive and dismissive of all the cons associated with kissing children on the lips, so what is it?
Given the risks, why kiss lips over cheeks or head?

So Missy and Laurie, you're just using the standard 'it's your problem' defence again without answering the question.

Well it is your problem.

I see no sexual connotations to an affectionate kiss. That’s not how I was brought up.

The only downside I can see is if cold sores are involved. I’ve never had one. Neither have my children.

So I’ll continue enjoying our lovely affectionate gestures. Thanks.

Totally different Freee. To even be close to an equivalent would be allowing or encouraging your breasts to be fondled when they are not feeding, i.e. behaviour that has no benefit to the child and is inappropriate.

...and I'll continue finding it really creepy and unnecessary LaurieMarlow.

I see no sexual connotations to an affectionate kiss. That’s not how I was brought up.

I absolutely believe you, that wasn't what I was trying to say. The sad thing is that you can never be certain that your child won't come into contact with someone who might do it in a sexualised way. Male relatives/friends' fathers/babysitters, you can never know for sure. Or very sadly, a new partner even. You might not like to think about it (who would?) but denial about it is unfortunately very naive.

I was talking about it as a boundary issue.

and I'll continue finding it really creepy and unnecessary LaurieMarlow.

Go for it. I mean, I find your position kinda tragic, but each to his own.