People who have moved countries

[Amymayapple]

How do you introduce yourself?

I was born in England and I moved to Ireland when I was age 7. I have an Irish accent. I grew up in Ireland, but I don't live there anymore.

If people ask me where I am from and I say England, they say to me, immediately "that is not an English accent".

If I say I am from Ireland, it feels wrong , because I am English. And I feel English. But I have an Irish accent.

I spend way too much time stressing about this when I introduce myself, because people make me explain myself.

I would just love to say "Hi I am ann, I am from England".

Not

"Hi I am Ann, I am from England"

"You don't SOUND English, hahaha"

"Well I was born in England, and we moved to Ireland".

It is a big song and dance every time, and it is extra stressful because I have gotten insults about being both English and Irish in the past.

How would you introduce yourself in this situation?

Where do you live now?

I work remotely and I move around:

In the last two years, I have lived in England, Scotland and Spain

Try being brown! No matter what you’re accent is some people will do anything they can to deny your britishness.

I have a stock answer now when people say

“You don’t look British”

My answer is “Why?” Really simple, but it highlights to them that they’re xenophobic arseholes. They always stand there and squirm because they’re too scared to verbally admit that they only believe white people can be British.

If someone insults you you need to have the confidence to challenge them.

"I was born in England but spent seven years in Ireland / moved around since"

Just answer the follow up question before it gets asked. I've moved around lots and this is what I do!

I don't think there's a perfect answer to the first sentence that will clarify all (I'm in a similar situation as you) and I think the trick is to not get drawn into additional explanations:

You: "I was born in [English town]."
People: "Woah, you don't sound English."
You: "I guess not."
In my experience, many will take the hint, especially if you say it in a fairly decisive tone.

You: "I was born in [English town]."
People: "Woah, you don't sound English."
You: "I guess not."
Particular obnoxious person: "WELL HOW COME?"
You: vague smile "Long and boring... anyway, [switch topic]."

In your situation I would probably just say I was English and Irish. It does depend on where you now live, but, for example, in the US you can just list all the places you have ever been (or seen on a map) because they all do the same.

My husband and I were talking about this. After about 10 years we started dreaming and thinking in English. Now 16yrs in we feel a loss of roots, we no longer relate well to people from our country. We have different habits and ways of thinking, particularly around religion. No longer really want to return to be buried. We’d stick out if we returned.
The thing is though, we’ll never be English and always have presumptions made. My accent went largely, but my husband’s is strong. Many English things we don’t get. We feel a little root-less, though happy. Even to our children there is such a gap (our childhoods were in the Soviet Union, it does colour your thinking!)

I’ve never once said where I’m from.

Rather I’m x and I’ve just moved here

Who are these people asking where you are from?

I always say 'I have lived in the UK for xx years, but was born in Other Country'. It's awkward, but the easiest way to avoid the otherwise guaranteed follow up question/comment of 'oh, you don't sound British'.

Who are these people asking where you are from? it is a normal question and absolutely nothing wrong with it. It is interesting.

'I'm an Irish-British mutt, hence the accent.'

Yes , I think that I get stressed because

In England - I get insults about being Irish,

In Ireland - I get insults about my English surname.

So I feel extra stressed. But as you said xenophobia is not going to go away.

I wish we could all get to a stage where nationality/ race does not matter one bit

@SimonJT
“Try being brown! No matter what you’re accent is some people will do anything they can to deny your britishness.”

I’m a QUARTER Indian. Never even been there. My mum moved here when she was 15 in 1960 (she was half Indian). But I am light brown and get very dark in the summer. I’m always asked where I’m from and always get told I don’t look British and get asked about my ‘family’ in India. There is none.

I dont have an accent from the place I am from and people do remark on it. I just explain that I’ve acquired the accent of the place I’ve lived in for several years.

I say I am from x (Northern city). The speed with which people's eyebrows shoot up😂 then they usually go timid and nicely ask
"Oh. I meant where is your accent from?"

I am Central European and still have really strong accent. Not sure why I can't get rid of it. I am otherwise fluent but the accent is just... There. A lot.

I feel you. I don't think you can say anything to stop people asking. Just learn to ignore it stupid comments. Say "born in England, grew up in Ireland" straight away.

@Connie222 yes, I get this when I am in England! It is so hurtful.

"Where are you from"
"English city"

"Really? You don't sound English, are you over here taking our jobs" etc. And then they will throw in a joke about Irish people being stupid. It is so hurtful.

I know that alot of us go through it. I send you a hug

Amymayapple 'So I feel extra stressed'

Give me strength.

My elder DD was born in Germany. She describes herself as English. I think she has now spent more of her life in England than abroad (she is 8, this is the fifth place she's lived across 3 countries).

My younger DD was born in England, and only spent about a third of her life in England (she's on her fifth home). She doesn't really see any country as home yet (she doesn't remember being a toddler in England, her memories start in Cyprus. )

However, since we have no further plans to move abroad again, they will probably become more English and their childhood abroad will fade in significance.

Thanks @OmgThereAreNoPlanesAboveMeNow yes I think - it is me expecting the insult to come my way - that is making me anxious and stutter my words every time.

I shouldn't be ashamed of where I am from, and neither should any of us

This is for anyone asked 'where are you REALLY from?'

Really? You don't sound English, are you over here taking our jobs

Wow. No one ever said that to me If they did i would tell them "Nah. But I am going to take your teeth if you won't fuck off"

@stonebrambleboy do you get insults about where you are from?

"I'm from Britain but I've been here 26 years"

Then I go on to explain how England and English are geographical norms and languages respectively. Then that no, I'm not from London so their "what do you eat in London? What's the weather like in London?" "Can you get me a summer job in London?" questions are the same as me asking them to find my daughter a summer job in Sardinia.

@Aroundtheworldin80moves yes! So many of us are from more than one country.

The sooner we all get leas focused on nationalism, the better.

We are all people, we are all from the world