People who have moved countries

[Amymayapple]

How do you introduce yourself?

I was born in England and I moved to Ireland when I was age 7. I have an Irish accent. I grew up in Ireland, but I don't live there anymore.

If people ask me where I am from and I say England, they say to me, immediately "that is not an English accent".

If I say I am from Ireland, it feels wrong , because I am English. And I feel English. But I have an Irish accent.

I spend way too much time stressing about this when I introduce myself, because people make me explain myself.

I would just love to say "Hi I am ann, I am from England".

Not

"Hi I am Ann, I am from England"

"You don't SOUND English, hahaha"

"Well I was born in England, and we moved to Ireland".

It is a big song and dance every time, and it is extra stressful because I have gotten insults about being both English and Irish in the past.

How would you introduce yourself in this situation?

I don't know how the English people on here don't know that there is hatred towards Irish people in England.

I visited England last year, and it was the first time I felt real extreme hatred directed at me. I was afraid to open my mouth.

I was told I was goiing over there taking their jobs, that Irish people are stupid, that Irish people are a lower race to the English.

It is extreme

@Amymayapple You are (or ought to be) perfectly well aware why it’s considered inappropriate and insulting to refer to the Republic of Ireland as being of the British Isles, given you were raised in Ireland. That reference may work for you in Britain but it would go down like a led balloon in Ireland. Since that’s your attitude it’s not surprising to me that you got short shrift there. You can describe your origins without insulting people.

@louisecollina seriously you are so immature. You get offended about absolutely everything. Learn your geography. Ireland is in the British Isles, which is a name for the group of islands. I have never heard of anyone in Ireland getting offended about this

@LouiseCollina I think you are mixing up what you are getting offended about.

Ireland has inddependence from Great Britain. It is not part of Great Britain.

"The British isles" has nothing to do with this. It is a geographical term for the group of Islands.

Honestly it is like talking to a two year old having a tantrum, talking to you.

www.thejournal.ie/is-ireland-british-isles-northern-ireland-europe-islands-1140112-Oct2013/
Probably best avoided, seems to be what this article suggests.

People react like that if someone speaks/doesn't speak in a regional accent. It can be just small talk too, a conversation starter.

It is often used as a put down too and for one person to ensure that the other person isn't getting 'notions' about themselves. People perceive some accents inferior to others. I know a woman from Bermingham, who now lives in another country and speaks with a very neutral accent. She is frequently told that she 'doesn't sound like she is from Bermingham'. Her standard reply is that she has worked very hard to get rid of it. Both the statement she receives and gives is potentially offensive to people from Bermingham. I don't think someone would say it if she was from a well spoken part of London.

I wonder what nationality comes over best when you're travelling the world. Definitely neither of mine!

I have never heard of anyone in Ireland getting offended about this

Ireland is technically part of the British Isles but the Irish Gov and Irish people would rarely never use this description.

@LouiseCollina "it is not surprising to me that you got short shrift in Ireland".

Oh yes, it was because of my behaviour that I got harrasment and abuse in Ireland.

It might have something to do with the hostility that many people in Ireland throw at the English. When I was seven years old in ireland, a man refused to rent a house to my mother because he "didn't want English children living in it".

Was that my fault at seven years old? I don't think so

I live in a city which was badly bombed by the British in WW2. I wouldn't hold it against anyone if they had lived through that and didn't like me because I was British.

It is quite natural to ask people where they are from.
I am white British, etc etc.
I was in Covent Garden about a year ago, and was asked where I was from.
London, I replied.
This actually started a conversation, as I was the only person asked that day, who actually came from Lodnon.
At the time, I worked nearby, and was on my lunch break.
(OK, in this instance, it was probably a marketing ploy - didn't work tho)

To answer your question, I would just say, originally from England, but have lived in Ireland for many years. Why the problem?

@Amymayapple

What are you posting about in particular as you seem to have moved on considerably from your original post about accents.

I don't know how the English people on here don't know that there is hatred towards Irish people in England.

that I got harrasment and abuse in Ireland.

Accents in general? Ireland? England? Xenophobia?

@theschoolonthehill they are linked.

I wouldn't be worried about my accent, if I hadn't experienced xenophobia

I wouldn't be worried about my accent

Okay, so the issue is having an Irish accent in the UK?

@FatRascalsAndJam you understand!

All of this worry and pain about names and accents, comes from the hatred that still exists between England, Ireland, and maybe Scotland.

I so so wish that the neighbouring countries were on good terms. It would make people's lives so much easier

@theschoolonthehill yes.

I so so wish that the neighbouring countries were on good terms. It would make people's lives so much easier

How do you think that could be achieved? Perhaps by being more aware and respectful of other cultures? and not declaring to all you meet that Ireland is part of the British Isles might help

@theschoolonthehill Ireland is part of the British Isles.

Google the British isles. What is the first thing that it says? Ireland is part of it

Do you want me to lie and say it is not?

@Amymayapple I have never heard anyone in Ireland getting offended about this

That’s because you’ve never heard the term used in Ireland to begin with. Why don’t you conduct a little social experiment - start referring to Ireland as being of ‘the British Isles’ amongst your Irish friends and neighbours and see how far that gets you.

Names change with time and with all the historical shifts that occur with it, uprisings, civil wars, revolutions etc. These make old colonial terms embarrassingly outdated and, yes, often offensive. Trying holidaying in Zimbabwe and referring to it as Rhodesia!

Educate yourself.

The second thing that Google lists is this:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British_Isles_naming_dispute

My mother is Irish, dad English, I was born in London but spent time in usa from age 7-17 and again 29-34. I had an American accent, but as I've been back in UK for last 20 years my accent is probably a bit trans-atlantic, but definitely more American than English so I usually get 'where's that accent from'? I don't mind - my accent makes me very memorable. I say I'm English but grew up in America.
But I do notice how critical English people are of the Americans so I sometimes exaggerate my accent after overhearing the insults just to see the look of discomfort on their faces!
By the way in America they think I sound European.

Do you want me to lie and say it is not?

I’m puzzled as to who is repeatedly asking you this question and so frequently that you are compelled to ‘declare the truth’. I have never had this topic as a ‘conversation’. Perhaps people asking where you really are from is more to do with what you are saying than how you are saying it.

Speaking as someone who has moved around a lot, I wouldn't even know how to answer where I'm from. I have long subscribed to the saying 'home is where the heart is'.

You're feeling stressed because you're now going into situations thinking people will demand you explain yourself. I would turn this on its head. You can't control what others will say to you/demand of you, but you do control how you can prepare yourself to think in those situations.

Ask yourself how you want to feel when you're introducing yourself? Not stressed, certainly. How about confident? happy? Then when you've picked a feeling ask what you need to think to feel that way. How about "I'm Ann and I'm more than enough." Or "I'm Ann and don't need to explain myself."

Test this by saying to yourself "I'm Ann and I"m more than enough" and seeing if it generates that feeling of confidence inside your body. If not, change it to something else.

Then you just need to decide what you're going to say to people in these situations while you're thinking these powerful thoughts.

How about "Hi, I'm Ann, pleased to meet you" and leaving it at that. You'll carry it off with such confidence that the other person is unlikely to quiz you further.

Hope this helps

@annacharles111

That’s really good advice. I’m going to use that.

OP, I grew up in London and was born here but my parents came from another country originally. In many immigrant parts of London I think we were well integrated as children through school. It was a conscious and deliberate act from our parents to integrate us and the councils also wanted this. This self awareness and idea of having to prove your identity has crept in and escalated so much over the last 30 years and I think it is disastrous for ones self esteem. I have noticed a real increase in stereotyping and racism and if I was to let it, it would make me question myself.

Someone said some people have a chip and when you dig deep enough you find there is something in their own life that is similar- never have I read a truer statement. It is always people who have an issue with ideas of identity and are probably using you to work out their own issues and see your response to them adopt it as they see you see successfully integrating your dual nationalities. It also has its origins in right wing thinking and dangerous notions of nationalism that as a country the UK has not successfully addressed, in my opinion.

You are you first and you don’t need to justify your presence to anyone.

Aargh! Sorry that was garbled - I meant they are your response to criticism (that they throw at you) and learn from your response the correct way to behave. It is a form of imitation - they just won’t acknowledge it or that they are conflicted themselves.

We need to go back to putting the focus on who we are by choice not by default. Our interests, hobbies, character.