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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to not want to keep quiet about this

71 replies

StuckInnTheMiddle · 05/04/2020 22:18

Nc as I am posting some identifying details and I don’t want it linked to my history.

We live on a cul-de-sac with only a few houses and we’ve all been here for quite a few years. I work from home so take in a lot of parcels for pretty much the whole street. I know most of them well and socialise with some of them regularly.

Say I’m house no 2 (not my real house no), I’m very close friends with house no 1. I’m also friends with house no 3 but 1 and 3 don’t get on well at all. There has been parking issues between them on and off since no 3 moved in and last year it almost escalated into a fist fight. Now they just avoid each other as much as possible.

Today neighbours no 3 had been drinking all afternoon. We could hear and see them in their garden as we only have a 3ft wire fence separating us. No issues with this but for some reason the husband decided to move his car from one of the visitor parking spots (top of the road) back into his drive. In doing so he has scraped no 1’s car down the side. I had my living room windows wide open as it was so hot today. I didn’t see anything but did hear my neighbour start up his car and heard a scrape. I looked out of the window and then saw a scratch.

I just know all hell will break loose if I tell no 1 what happened. Obviously, it was completely wrong for no 3 to drive when they’d had a drink. I can’t really be sure if they were or weren’t over the limit. I can’t even be completely sure it was no 3 who scratched it as I didn’t actually see the incident.

No 1 will be up early tomorrow morning to work and will notice the scratch straight away.

Should I say anything to no 1 as I don’t think no 3 will fess up.

Should I just stay out of it?

OP posts:
Original poster
StuckInnTheMiddle · 05/04/2020 22:19

Sorry didn’t mean to enable voting but yabu is don’t tell them and yanbu is tell them

OP posts:
feelinguseless101 · 05/04/2020 22:21

You were witness to a crime. A crime where the victim will be out of pocket. Of course you can't stay quiet.

Magicbabywaves · 05/04/2020 22:22

Say nothing

CherieBabySpliffUp · 05/04/2020 22:22

You heard a scrape but didn't see it happen so the scrape on the other neighbours car may have already been there (unlikely I know.)
I would stay out of it tbh.

bonnieclydesdale · 05/04/2020 22:23

I didn’t see anything but did hear my neighbour start up his car and heard a scrape. I looked out of the window and then saw a scratch

You didn't see anything so you don't know for certain that it was him, though it does seem extremely likely. I'd keep out of it.

Magicbabywaves · 05/04/2020 22:23

Given the row that will erupt with you in the middle and also given that it’ll be obvious who did it, I’d stay out of it. And I wouldn’t normally say that.

Andi2020 · 05/04/2020 22:23

Stay out unless asked. And it would depend ok which neighbour I didn't mind falling out with because you will if you get involved

Zoecarter · 05/04/2020 22:24

I wouldn’t get involved

BunnytheBee · 05/04/2020 22:24

I think if you are not sure no 3 did it then what are you going to say?

bonnieclydesdale · 05/04/2020 22:24

You were witness to a crime

OP wasn't a witness though, she didn't see anything.

yatapina · 05/04/2020 22:24

You don't have full details so I would stay out of it tbh.

BunnytheBee · 05/04/2020 22:25

If one of them asks you then say but I think it would be wrong to go knocking on no 1’s door saying you think no 3 might have scratched their car

Passionatelycurious · 05/04/2020 22:25

Say nothing. You'll end up in a shoot the messenger situation. It will only cause you grief and you have to love with these people for many years to come.

TheEndIsBillNighy · 05/04/2020 22:26

Stay out of it. Is it possible he scraped his alloy on a kerb & hence the noise, for example?

Fcukthisshit · 05/04/2020 22:27

Stay out of it. You’ll be stuck living there with a terrible atmosphere.

Weezol · 05/04/2020 22:27

I heard an altercation - Police took a witness statement from me after door knocking as hearing counts as witnessing. I was quite surprised to be told that!

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 05/04/2020 22:31

I'd keep out of it; you have to live with them both in close proximity.
Suspect the police have other stuff to deal with ATM.

Original poster
StuckInnTheMiddle · 05/04/2020 22:34

Thanks everyone. I think it’s highly likely that is was no 3 who scratched the car. I know for a fact the scratch wasn’t on the car this afternoon as I was weeding my front garden most of the day and would have noticed it there. I also know no 1 will text me straight away in the morning to ask if I know anything. It’s a fairly large scratch/scrape which will probably cost a fair bit if they wanted to repair it. It is noticeable.

I hate lying. The thing is, as some of you have said, I didn’t actually see anything so telling no 1 what I think has happened is irrelevant I suppose. It will cause issues between them again. It’s been a lot better since they’ve decided to ignore each other. I honestly don’t want the tension back

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 05/04/2020 22:40

I can’t even be completely sure it was no 3 who scratched it as I didn’t actually see the incident

Stay well out of it. You'll just end up in the shit from both sides.

I hate lying.

No-one is suggesting you lie.

If neighbour No. 1 asks if you saw anything, you didn't. You said as much yourself.

As far as they are concerned, it could have been from anyone.

Keep as far out of it as possible.

BunnytheBee · 05/04/2020 22:41

I think if they ask you then personally I wouldn’t lie as why should no 3 get away with it. Would they admit it? Presumably they’d have done that at the time.

But even in saying what you’ve said here is enough for 1 to he convinced 3 did it and 3 won’t be happy with you for saying that obviously.

If you were friends with 3 I’d say tell 3 what you saw and encourage them to tell 1 the truth as you can’t lie if asked

TemoraryUsername · 05/04/2020 22:42

I would either deny all knowledge or go full on angry at #3 for drink driving and tell them you know they scratched 1's car and you hope they will go tell them and pay for it and not fucking drink drive ever again.

ToelessPobble · 05/04/2020 22:43

As long as you would be happy for someone to lie if they hear a scratching noise as they drive drunk past your car and notice there is a new scratch on it and you ask them if they know what happened. And as long as you are happy to have to pay for your car to be repainted or lose your no claims then go for it and deny all knowledge.

TeeniefaeTroon · 05/04/2020 22:44

Is there any damage to number 3's car?

Janaih · 05/04/2020 22:44

People never thank the messenger. Stay well out of it Flowers

Purpleartichoke · 05/04/2020 22:45

Does no one have doorbell cameras or other cameras in the homes?