To ask is this fair re DP and rent?

[Mutedmanyhours]

I know this has been done a lot but I just want to see what others think.

DP and I have been together approx 2 years. We get on very well. I have 2 kids he doesn't have any. Before cv, I was earning about 4 times more than him per month.
Since cv he has been living with us which has been lovely. He has been really helpful with the kids and generally very lovely.
We have agreed that he will live with us while schools are shut and both our work is affected. He will pay one third of our food bill, household bills and rent.
This will leave him with very little disposable income after his own outgoings.

Is that too much?

How would you pay your bills if he hadn’t moved in?

Mine has temporarily moved in with me, he has lost his job (all trainees were laid off), I’m charging him £0 as he is costing nothing apart from a bit of food, but despite me insisting he use my card he paid for our last lot of shopping.

I’m also paying his rent on his place next month, then we’ll review it each month. His flatmate has CF, so he couldn’t move back in even if he wanted to.

If he is going to pay a proportion surely it should be at most 1/4 as you are financially responsible for three people and he for one.

Is he happy with the arrangement to pay 1/3?

Is this a reverse?

You say you can't afford to take less, but you were coping before, when he wasn't living with you. What would you do now if he wasn't living with you? And does he pay rent on his old place?

It sounds like you’re profiting on him as he’s now subsiding you/your children.

Surely he should be paying a quarter of rent and bills, plus a split of the food bill (maybe a quarter depending on the ages of your children).

No, that does not sound fair at all. YABU
If he’s just staying for the lockdown, he will have his own rent to pay. So he should only contribute towards extra food and maybe utility expenses.
If he’s moving in permanently and has no rent or housing to pay elsewhere, then he should pay between 1/5 to 1/4 the expenses. I say 1/5 because you make 4x what he does so should contribute 4x what he does to bills. I can see 1/4 the expenses depending on eveness of disposable income or if he has part ownership on rye house deed or something.
But 1/3 is you taking advantage of him. And yes you can accept less, you’ve just got it into your head that you won’t accept less because you are trying to solve a drop in your income by taking more of his income.

So if he doenst stay what is your position?

Sorry I was working just to answer -

No he lives at home otherwise where he doesn't pay rent or bills or food now I think about it

Yes he does help with home schooling but I do the majority

After paying me one third, he would have about 500 pound left over at 80 percent of his income currently. He is still able to put into his savings account and has a fairly large buffer in his account

If he wasn't here I would manage by a combination of debt and online work

My current salary has halved in the last fortnight with uncertainty in my sector meaning I could receive 60 per cent of the minimum wage if I am furloughed

Definitely not a reverse.

And I am currently in my overdraft and struggling to get out of it

If he doesn’t pay for rent, food or bills at his place then what are his outgoings?!

Definitely charge him a third, OP.

He is paying 75 pounds per week rent
50 pounds food contribution per week
16 pounds in contribution to household bills

My rent is 975 pcm
My household bills are 300

His outgoings are:
Vehicle
Netflix
Phone

So he earns about £800 a month and lives 'at home'? Is he an actual adult?

This will leave him with very little disposable income after his own outgoings.

After paying me one third, he would have about 500 pound left over

Which is it? These statements are incompatible as £500 is a LOT of disposable income.

He has 2.5k in his current account and 2k in savings

Is he young? Living with parents? So he had a chance to save before this by earning with no outgoings.
I guess you have to ask him for this contribution and it's up to him.

I have an overdraft at - 800

Oh wait if his wages have gone down due to CV then ignore that last comment.

Why do you think £500 isn't a lot of disposable income? For a man who earns less than £1k?!

How little does he earn if he has nothing left after paying you about £150

Sorry about the incompatibility - I guess that doesn't seem like much disposable income to pre corona me, but now I'm like actually that's a lot

Is he one of those that was under declaring his income and now only gets compensation based on what he declared? 😉

He can’t be working full time on that wage, OP?

150 is per week

He was furloughed at 80 per cent of a salary which had been dropped the week before furkoughing by cutting his contracted hours so its looking like his pre corona take home was 1600 but now it will be 1150 by his estimate

He pays 200 pcm into his savings and 150 for his vehicle and with phone and Netflix that is about 350

Why wasn't this discussed and agreed before he moved in?

It seems reasonable to be but £150 a week for food sounds a lot.