Are German nipples the worst?

[Crackerofdoom]

I just learned the word for nipples in German is Brustwarzen

The literal translation is "breast warts"

Is this the worst direct translation or are there more out there?

I remember Mrs Slocombe opening some German bras on 'Are you being served?'

"Bustenhalter," she said. "Ooh, dunt it sound CRUDE?"

My favourite funny german words are
Mutterküchen or literal translation : mother cake
Bissgurken translated as a pickel biter :(female) meaning a mean woman
Zipfelklatcher willie whacker : a male idiot

mother cake or Mutter Kuchen is the placenta

On the placenta theme, Nabelschnur (navel string) = umbilical cord. The delivery room is the Kreißsaal, literally the screeching hall. Midwife = Hebamme, roughly 'lifting up nurse' (nurse in the sense of wet nurse). And old wives' tales are Ammenmärchen, wet nurses' fairytale.

Rat is advice, but it's also council, so the town hall is the council house.

Brilliant! Love all of these. Dread to think what blow job is in other languages (am definitely not going to google)

Stamp- briefmarke (letter token)

I love some of the insults. Not sure they are real or jokes but they make me laugh.

Warmduscher- warm showerer- someone who isn't man enough to take cold showers.

Turnbeutelvergesser - PE kit forgetter

Not sure about the next one. I remember the English translation better than the German one.
Mittelfahrbahnbenutzer (?) - middle lane user

People really needs to see Beaches - surely it's a favourite ?

Is that a TV show? Never seen it.

Affenzahn literally monkey tooth is a word to describe something that is quick / fast like a car.

The system for transferring tax allowances between married couples is called Ehegattensplitting... spouse splitting.

A savoury bake is an Auflauf, an up run. Also a term for a crowd of people forming.

Drums (as in a drum kit) = Schlagzeug = hit thing.

Korinthenkacker: currant (as in rasin) shitter; a nitpick

Watschengesicht :whack face or a face one would love to smack

Kopfkino : cinema in the head or imagination

Going back a bit Foss also means ditch, as in the Foss way (an old Roman road with ditches either side) and some rivers called Foss.

And to the poster who described capercaillie as small - they are large birds that weigh about the same as a goose.

In Danish full means drunk and travel or a journey is fart.

Feierabend: celebration evening, the end of the working day

Super Dickmann. Safely googleable

^I love the Danish words for grandparents
Mormor (mum mum) Morfar (mum dad) Farmor (dad mum) Farfar (dad dad)^

This is genius - so much more economical than English’s paternal grandmother blah blah blah.

High Force is in County Durham, not Cumbria as someone implied upthread
...except for when DH and I thought we might have a go at learning German but couldn't get past the first lesson which (for some unknown reason) included hackfleisch

I'm going to turn some of these into a quiz for my friends (drinking buddies) when we have our regular Friday catch up over Zoom. Thanks all!

It's always hilarious to laugh at foreigners and their daft words.

I’d be interested to hear which English words elicit similar amusement from posters whose first language is NOT English.

As a teenager visiting Germany many moons ago, I remember people looking horrified when I said I liked baked Bienen. Thought it meant beans- it didn’t, it means bumble bees! Also told them I slept on top of a Matrose- sailor! Meant to say Matraze- mattress!!

Italian for butterfly(s) is "fafalle" which is why pasta "bows" are so called.

My Brit friend in Italy told me farfalle is also the slang word for the vulva.

Favourite German words of mine:

Nervenzusammenbruch (nerves together break): nervous breakdown

Katzenjammer (caterwaul): hangover.

Favourite German word: ‘Handy’ - mobile phone!

Google translate says the Korean for mobile phone is 휴대 전화 (hyudae jeonhwa) but that must be official version because it sounds an awful lot like “hand-e-pon” (no F sound in Korean) on the telly. I noticed because my German friend calls her mobile her “handy”.

You can still see a variation of it in Cumbria: waterfalls are called 'force', eg High Force. Also - 'fell' for hill. Norwegian 'fjell'.

Is ‘beck’ for stream from a Norwegian word?

Kirk appears in place names (eg Kirkby Stephen, Kirkwalls) from the Norse word for church. ‘By’ is from the Norse for settlement, which gives us bylaws (town laws) in modern English.

Loving this, I'm now questioning my DH as to why he knows the German for contraception???

Oberlippenbart - upper lip beard for moustache

Actually, the more common (and much funnier) word for moustache is
"Schnurrbart", which is also the word for whiskers on a cat.

The reason you have "shame lips" "shame hair" etc is that the old fashioned euphemism for (female) genitals is actually "die Scham". I assume it's a reference to the Bible, Adam + Eve feeling shame and covering up with a fig leaf. Schambereich (shame region) is the whole crotch area.

I loved studying german when i was at school its such a brilliantly funny language