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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour isn't a key worker

351 replies

TrulyOutrageousJem · 03/04/2020 12:36

Since working from home I have moved my desk into the bay window. It's nice to see cars and occasionally people and to not be staring at a blank wall. I'm new to the street and only moved in two months ago so I'm not on chatting terms with anybody yet just a polite hello.

As I'm in the window I have noticed that my neighbour facing gets up each day, takes her small baby (younger than one) to the nursery and her kids to school then comes back home. She isn't working outside of the home as far as I can see and both her and her partner are there all day. She drops the smallest off at 8am and picks up at 5:30pm Monday - Friday so not even a reduced time. I like to keep to myself but it's driving me insane that she is playing the system while I have my small children, yes driving me insane, while trying to work and homeschool but that is just the way it is.

Today it looks like they are doing a spot of DIY because they are childless for the day/week?!?!!!

I desperately want to say something.

OP posts:
Macaroni46 · 03/04/2020 23:56

@Ladyglitterfairydust I totally agree
Some people are forgetting that those key worker children are being looked after by a human being who is also at risk - with no protective gear. Despite all the possible reasons given (as is always the case on MN) some parents are taking advantage of the system. I have no problem looking after genuine key worker children but do balk at the piss takers ...

LouiseCollina · 04/04/2020 00:32

I got a laugh out of this thread. Who’d have thought all you had to do was position your desk towards a window to turn into a curtain-twitching nosebag who reckoned she was entitled to the details of her neighbours personal business and would gather them “in due course” !!! Grin

For God’s sake OP, take a look at what you’ve turned into. That’s a window beyond your desk, not a TV screen with a soap opera running. Close the curtains, pull down the blinds, or better yet put that desk back facing the wall. Sounds to me like you’d all be better off!

namechange123779 · 04/04/2020 00:39

As you don't know the lady you have no idea what job she has or if she's any serious health conditions please don't judge. my sister is in the nhs in a non uniform wearing role she also has a chronic lung condition that puts her in to 12 weeks isolation, she's sending her kids to school so she can support and facilitate her team whilst also being devastated for not being on the front line, she has seriously dreadful calls daily and is also remotely supporting the set up of emergency hospitals. Perhaps don't judge untill you know someone is taking the piss, most schools & nursery's are doing stringent key worker checks, I'd by far prefer my kids at home annoying me than pit in a vulnerable position

MorganKitten · 04/04/2020 01:24

I’m am a key worker working from home. You don’t know them so best to mind your business.

Hairyfairy01 · 04/04/2020 07:21

I think a lot of you are missing the point. If you are a keyworker and working from home, your kids should not be in school.

Shitsgettingcrazy · 04/04/2020 07:38

@Hairyfairy01 lots of key workers who are working at home can not have the kids theres. Theres lots of examples on this thread.

I am key worker, I am working from home. My kids are here. That doesnt mean everyone else is in the same position.

IrisAtwood · 04/04/2020 07:42

key worker and working from home, your kids should not be in school.

I don’t believe that you have the authority or expertise to make that statement.

MarginalGain · 04/04/2020 07:54

I think a lot of you are missing the point. If you are a keyworker and working from home, your kids should not be in school.

Another MN autocrat. Explain why?

YukoandHiro · 04/04/2020 08:04

How do you know whether or not she's a key worker? Do you have any idea what she does?

Both my husband and I are national newspaper journalists working on daily news reporting including of the press conference and other key public service info. We are working from home but it's very, very full on.

We aren't using childcare for our 2.5 year old, because I am pregnant and high risk and I am personally currently on part time hours. But we are entitled to it.

And because we're choosing not to use it, we're living a total nightmare, each getting about 4 hours sleep a night.

I absolutely hate this situation. It's unsustainable and it's making me unwell.

Stop being so judgemental of people you don't even know.

YukoandHiro · 04/04/2020 08:06

@leghairdontcare

haha haha YES

Stuckforthefourthtime · 04/04/2020 08:10

Hairyfairy01

I think a lot of you are missing the point. If you are a keyworker and working from home, your kids should not be in school

That's not a rule. For example the neighbour mentioned has a baby... How much working from home do you truly think you can do with very small children? Not every job is flexible, just because it's wfh

LaStreng · 04/04/2020 08:15

My youngest still goes to nursery every morning during the week. He's autistic and they've classed him as vulnerable. I accepted the place. I don't feel guilty. It took 4 months to get him comfortable with nursery routine and to take it away would cause the worst meltdowns and make my eldest miserable on top. It would be sheer hell.

I'll try and remember to give any judgy curtain twitchers the bird next time I drop him off Hmm

dontdisturbmenow · 04/04/2020 08:23

Please please people, don't become hateful out of assumptions that brew resentment. It really isn't the time for this.

The fact is you DON'T KNOW! So yes, maybe she is taking the piss, being a lazy cow, happy to drop her kids so she can have a peaceful day to enjoy herself, whilst having no care for the staff or that it puts her child more at risk. Maybe indeed.

But as much of a maybe, she could be up all night because her child is hyperactive and won't sleep at night for more than a couple of hours, and on top of that, maybe, just maybe, she is doing a crucial job during the day. How about if she works for the NHS and her job is to contact people with cancer, to let them know that they now have to go to another hospital for treatment, getting abuse from people who take their frustration on her or burst into tears through desolation, finding herself booking ambulances and taxis, calling relatives and who knows who else so that these people can get to the place to get their lifesaving treatment.

Do you think such person deserves your nasty judgement? As you don't know and she could be either, why not assume she is the latter and feel grateful for such amazing people who do such amazing things for other people, it will make you feel better about yourself.

NoSoapAndGory · 04/04/2020 08:30

OP - have you read 1984? And looked at history where the community is encouraged to tell on each other?

None of those situations end well for anyway.

SuburbanFraggle · 04/04/2020 11:08

Also, some people don't want to share their business and would rather say to nosy parkers "I just fancied a lie in" than "It is part of a court ordered mandate, enforced by social services that the children go to school on schedule while the schizophrenia medication dosage is set." for example.

Mind your own beeswax.

Cam2020 · 04/04/2020 17:33

I'd be expecting Alfred Hitchcock to pop up next, a la Rear Window!

nannygoat50 · 04/04/2020 17:39

They may be key workers working from home or classed as vulnerable children . You can’t send them to school without proof that you are in one of those catargories. So just get on with your own work and don’t worry

Banj0girl · 04/04/2020 17:40

Next time you get the chance to go outside and clap for the NHS and key workers, perhaps they will come out opposite and you can strike up a conversation with them. They may have already noticed you staring out of the window already !
Maybe other contributors or you yourself have thought of this already. Apologies as I could not face reading through nearly 300 messages, I am going to watch the virtual Grand National !

lloyd1986 · 04/04/2020 17:41

You don't know if they are key workers as you've admitted you haven't had time to introduce yourself or get to know them they could be key workers working from home, Secondly children who are classed as vunerable so for example but not excluding..children in foster care, children with disabilities, children who are under a care order etc are all allowed in school! Maybe move your desk back to where it was and stop judging people you have zero idea about!

Aragog · 04/04/2020 17:43

Both DH and I are classed as key workers. We are both working from home. I am because I can't be in school as I am in an at risk group. DH is because they've closed the offices to prevent the spread of CV. He just goes in once or twice a week to exchange files and deal with post.

DD is a teen so needs no supervision and looking after.

However if we had young children it would be much more difficult to manage. We are both working a lot. DH is busier than ever dealing with CV19 related wills and probate work, taking calls all day and on video conferences, etc.

I personally wouldn't want to send my child into school right now, due to the increased risk.

However, I can see why some people who are working from home might have to use the emergency childcare in schools.

Fruitbatdancer · 04/04/2020 17:46

My neighbour fosters 4 kids, they’ve had to fight to keep them home and safe as social services adamant they should go to school! They are very caring and protective and want the kids home. And social services finally conceded.

I’d wind your neck in, you don’t have the facts.

OCTOBER8 · 04/04/2020 17:48

It was only a couple of weeks ago Be Kind was all over the media how the tables have turnt!

TheStarryNight · 04/04/2020 17:57

You might be better served by watching this rather than the comings and goings outside your window.

It’s “A Lady of Letters” starring Patricia Routledge, from Talking Heads, the Alan Bennett monologue series.

If you like it, you might also like “ A Cream Cracker Under the Sofa” from the same series, starting Thora Hird.

cutie101 · 04/04/2020 18:02

I'm a teacher, I am looking after a child at school who has a parent who is working on scientific research into a possible vaccine....FROM HOME. Yes, we are very happy to have their child.

ToftyAC · 04/04/2020 18:02

On the list of key workers I’m not on it. Our company has been mandated to stay open because we supply a key supplier who provides health testing and healthcare equipment. Now, I’m lucky as I can work from home a bit but otherwise have to go in twice a week, but my DP has had to give up job hunting after years as a SAHD. My DP is being sent mental with most of the child care, but between us we manage. However, if our circs were different and we had some judgmental neighbour spying on us without knowing our situ I’d be pretty fucking pissed off. Mind your own biz.

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