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AIBU?

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Original poster

Neighbour isn't a key worker

351 replies

TrulyOutrageousJem · 03/04/2020 12:36

Since working from home I have moved my desk into the bay window. It's nice to see cars and occasionally people and to not be staring at a blank wall. I'm new to the street and only moved in two months ago so I'm not on chatting terms with anybody yet just a polite hello.

As I'm in the window I have noticed that my neighbour facing gets up each day, takes her small baby (younger than one) to the nursery and her kids to school then comes back home. She isn't working outside of the home as far as I can see and both her and her partner are there all day. She drops the smallest off at 8am and picks up at 5:30pm Monday - Friday so not even a reduced time. I like to keep to myself but it's driving me insane that she is playing the system while I have my small children, yes driving me insane, while trying to work and homeschool but that is just the way it is.

Today it looks like they are doing a spot of DIY because they are childless for the day/week?!?!!!

I desperately want to say something.

OP posts:
HoffiCoffi13 · 03/04/2020 15:25

I wonder if all the people who say 'mind your own business' would also ignore signs of abuse....we either work and engage as a community or we don't

They are incomparable scenarios. Various children are allowed to still be in school. The OP has absolutely no idea whether this child meets the criteria to be allowed in school. Therefore she has absolutely no idea that any wrongdoing has occurred. She has basically said that she’s annoyed because she’s envious of them having a ‘nice break’.
How is that comparable to someone reporting signs of abuse?

sequinednostrils · 03/04/2020 15:26

The message I got from school is that if you are working from home, regardless of your kid's eligibility as vulnerable, they should stay home. My dd is ehcp, would be eligible to go to school, but cannot as I am home.

The children may be fostered, ?

SuburbanFraggle · 03/04/2020 15:31

What a lack of imagination OP.

Maybe the mother is an administrator for a funeral home and calls have been directed to her phone. Would you want the worst call in your life punctuated by 'mum, I've done a wee wee'!

Or the dad is a social worker who doesn't think a five year old should overhear details of a case involving abuse.

Or a normal person, with two active kids who knows that if the kids are home they won't get any work done and they would like to keep their jobs thank you very much.

So YOU are going to knock on their doors BREAK THE RULES BY MAKING A NON ESSENTIAL journey and say "why are your kids at home?"
" Oh, stranger. I've got bipolar and the stress of working while wrangling kids could cause me to have a breakdown."

Or

" Why, yes neighbour. We are indeed CFs. We have now seen the error of our way and shall immediately do what you say?"

FFS

RishiSunakFanClub · 03/04/2020 15:37

The jealousy is oozing out of your posts OP. What a boring little life you must lead. You had better be glad your neighbours aren't me or you would be told to fuck off and then fuck off some more. What they do or don't do are none of your business.

Oldbutstillgotit · 03/04/2020 15:40

One of DD’s friends has 5 children and they are all going to school while she is at home all day with her DP . Reason is that there is Social Work involvement but neighbours don’t know that so are being exactly like you OP . Get on with your work and no, you don’t need answers .

LonginesPrime · 03/04/2020 15:45

Almost all of my DC's medical professionals are working from home at the moment and doing telephone/Skype calls, as are all of their teachers.

You have acknowledged that you don't know her or her situation so YABU to judge.

If it's bothering you this much, why not move your desk to face something else so you can concentrate better on your own work and DC?

Richwitch · 03/04/2020 16:16

I’m a key worker - and I’m working from home. Maybe you should concentrate on your job and stop sticking your judgmental nose into other people’s business. I’m mighty glad you’re not my neighbour

Shopkinsdoll · 03/04/2020 16:35

I’m sorry to beak it to you on the mumsnet bubble but there are plenty people abusing the “keyworker” status for childcare. Families should only be using it if both parents are key workers. Or of course single parents. It also depends on your local authority, others are more strict than others. I personally know of a mother who is a keyworker in her local supermarket, dad is unemployed. No other issues within the family and they send the three children to school. These teachers and nursery staff are risking there life’s to give this service only for the selfish and down right lazy to abuse the situation.

BackseatCookers · 03/04/2020 16:36

I just know that while I'm working and looking after my kids on my own I'm watching a mum and a dad, from the outset, have a really lovely break.

That isn't what you just know.

You don't know anything about them.

Maybe they both have a job that isn't possible to do with children around.

Two of my Dr friends are working from home with telephone consultations and Skype calls. Not really conducive to a child popping into frame or making noise in the background.

You're jealous you're having to work from home with the kids there but if you gave other people and jealousy less headspace, your day would be much nicer and you could get through your workload quicker Smile

MacRedsocks · 03/04/2020 16:39

I'm part of the judiciary. I'm doing telephone hearings. Do you want to hear children yelling whilst I'm doing your hearing?

Choppi · 03/04/2020 16:51

Yanbu. Whether 'key worker' or not, if adults can work from, or just BE at, home, they ought keep their kids with them, according to the Government.

The school is open for critical workers who have no other option available for childcare.

Regardless of EHCPs etc, children are looked after at home usually, (whether in their own household, foster care .... whatever) and released again at night (!) so school can't be inherently better for them. Their social worker certainly won't be there, and most of the normal school staff will be at home too! Mixing with other children is more likely to cause them to catch or spread the virus.

Becuna · 03/04/2020 16:56

OP what a terribly judgemental post. You admitted you don’t know them and what she does for work yet your Thread is titled ‘Neighbour isn’t a key worker’.

You have no idea what neighbour does. This sort of vigilante behaviour is appalling and it makes me angry and sad. FFS get on with your own work and unless she is coughing in your letterbox you have nothing to worry about.

I cannot believe the pettiness.

CallMeOnMyCell · 03/04/2020 17:09

Mind your own business. I’m a key worker and I’m working from home, at lunch times I take a break to do some gardening. To an outsider looking in maybe it does appear that I’m taking the piss because I drop my DD at the childminder as normal.

HughGrantsHair · 03/04/2020 17:12

Schools should not be being used by key workers who are working at home. The requirement is to only use the childcare provided in schools if the child cannot be "safely cared for at home". It doesn't say "if the parent can't work from home satisfactorily".

cerealmilk · 03/04/2020 17:18

trulyoutrageous, you’ve had a lot of answers here so you probably don’t need another. But my neighbour is a GP and she is working from home. Her kids are - quite rightly - going to nursery and school. My neighbour has already had Covid-19 as well, and they’ve all quarantined for the appropriate time.

Maybe you’re watching them Grin

hibeat · 03/04/2020 17:20

Is this thread still on ?

cologne4711 · 03/04/2020 17:27

I’m sorry to beak it to you on the mumsnet bubble but there are plenty people abusing the “keyworker” status for childcare

No they are not, because schools are refusing places to people who don't meet their criteria. There were people on here straight after school closed saying they were on the government's list but they weren't on the school's list so they weren't getting places.

If I were having a video consultation with a medical professional, I would not want them being distracted by their 3 year old running around in the background. So even if they could "safely care" for their child, it is better if they make use of childcare if it is available to them.

cologne4711 · 03/04/2020 17:29

I personally know of a mother who is a keyworker in her local supermarket, dad is unemployed. No other issues within the family and they send the three children to school. These teachers and nursery staff are risking there life’s to give this service only for the selfish and down right lazy to abuse the situation

The mother is risking her health every day - hardly selfish and downright lazy to want her children looked after. You don't know if there are other problems in the family.

longwayoff · 03/04/2020 17:37

You have no idea of her circumstances and should be completely ashamed of your carping envy insteadmof bragging about it. Get on with your own "working from home" before someone reports you for slacking. Shame on you.

lyralalala · 03/04/2020 18:02

I personally know of a mother who is a keyworker in her local supermarket, dad is unemployed. No other issues within the family

You have no idea if there are other issues in the family or not.

People have issues in their lives, and backstories, that even those around them every day don’t know about.

Idontbelieveit12 · 03/04/2020 18:06

I know some vulnerable children are still going to school

KimchiLaLa · 03/04/2020 18:10

We had the option to keep sending DD to nursery as my husband is technically a key worker. In reality, he's really not. He's a banker for an investment bank. Nursery were happy to take her. Anyway, told them we wouldn't send her and they told us they had other kids of parents who worked in finance (not frontline bank jobs!!) there. People. Just. Do. Not. Care.

Thefaceofboe · 03/04/2020 18:17

Children can have go if they get funding etc so just be cautious if you plan on saying anything.

Thefaceofboe · 03/04/2020 18:17

Can still go, sorry

Stinkycatbreath · 03/04/2020 18:23

Im a key worker and working from home until after the bank holiday. Then im on hospital discharges at the front line for the foreseeable future. I sent my child into nursery one day last week working in the morning but did some decorating in the afternoon as I haven't been able to do this afyer plasterers came after Christmas. Ill be working shifts over seven day rota 8 til 8 so will get even less time when I change pattern. Maybe she is a key worker but needed to do her decorating. My argument is that I have paid till September and I dont get any other time or break.

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