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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour isn't a key worker

351 replies

TrulyOutrageousJem · 03/04/2020 12:36

Since working from home I have moved my desk into the bay window. It's nice to see cars and occasionally people and to not be staring at a blank wall. I'm new to the street and only moved in two months ago so I'm not on chatting terms with anybody yet just a polite hello.

As I'm in the window I have noticed that my neighbour facing gets up each day, takes her small baby (younger than one) to the nursery and her kids to school then comes back home. She isn't working outside of the home as far as I can see and both her and her partner are there all day. She drops the smallest off at 8am and picks up at 5:30pm Monday - Friday so not even a reduced time. I like to keep to myself but it's driving me insane that she is playing the system while I have my small children, yes driving me insane, while trying to work and homeschool but that is just the way it is.

Today it looks like they are doing a spot of DIY because they are childless for the day/week?!?!!!

I desperately want to say something.

OP posts:
SugarSugarShimmy · 03/04/2020 18:37

@KimchiLaLa why is working in finance not a key worker job. The economy has to keep turning

KimchiLaLa · 03/04/2020 18:49

"Finance" can count as say, an accountant. An accountant can work from home and have their kids there too. Is it hard? Yes, I'm having to do it. Is it better than potentially infecting your child/putting unnecessary strain on the educational institution? No.

Richwitch · 03/04/2020 18:51

This virus is really bringing out the worst in some people isn't it. I can't believe the OP is justifying her judgmental behaviour and believes she'll 'have all the answers she needs' when she's spoken with the neighbours. I really hope the neighbour finds out she's been gossiping about her on here....and tells all the other neighbours....then they all know what an interfering busybody they live near

newbingepisodes · 03/04/2020 18:52

I'm a keyworker my actual day job has been replaced for a short time by working on the covid screening phone lines from home.
One of my friends is a solicitor for the Health service and she too is a key worker but can do her job from home. Doesn't mean you can have kids at home all day.

Shopkinsdoll · 03/04/2020 19:03

cologne4711
Yes it’s selfish and lazy if she’s putting her children into school when there is a grown adult living in the house doing nothing all day. Putting the teachers and nursery staff at risk. I know 100% that there are no problems within the family. She has openly bragged about it to me and another family member. I wouldn’t be posting it if it was just hear say.

Poetryinaction · 03/04/2020 19:25

Mind your own business.

longwayoff · 03/04/2020 19:37

Your new neighbours will be thrilled that you've moved in OP, what an absolute pleasure it will be for them to spend time with you in the future. You sound absolutely delightful. I look forward to reading about your first neighbourhood parking row, or whatever other trivia you've decided to fill your working day with.

bluebell94 · 03/04/2020 19:44

Another key worker here who is able to work from home. Nurse. Able to run telephone clinics mostly.
Their WFH jobs may be just as demanding as if they were in their normal place of work and are therefore not able to watch young children.

Oldhaggard · 03/04/2020 19:52

Yeah, my friends kids are in school, and her neighbours don't like it either because they can see she's at home IN BED all day.
Totally escapes them that she's doing 12 hour nights in a key role because their curtains are tight closed when she leaves for work and her husband takes them in in the mornings, and then she comes home and goes to bed.

Ladyglitterfairydust · 03/04/2020 19:54

I would be totally pissed off at this too. Key-workers who are working at home should have their children with them at home. This is the government rules, which have been made abundantly clear. Unfortunately some people choose to think the rules don’t apply to them because they are so much busier/stressed/tired than everyone else. Dh and I are both in this position. We’re both teachers, but have managed to not have to be in school on the same days. This means we can work from home on the other days while keeping our children (age 7 and 4) with us. It’s bloody hard work, but the rules apply to us just like the thousands of other parents in the country. Neither of us mind going to school when there is absolutely no other choice for children of key-workers, but it’s really not fair to put us (and my children) at greater risk just because parents want a nice quiet day at home. It’s beyond selfish.

heartsonacake · 03/04/2020 19:59

Unfortunately some people choose to think the rules don’t apply to them because they are so much busier/stressed/tired than everyone else.

Ladyglitterfairydusf You have absolutely no idea what rules apply to the OP’s neighbours because you have absolutely no idea of their individual situation.

Shopkinsdoll · 03/04/2020 20:18

Ladyglitterfairydust

I agree with you 100% thank you to the teachers! 👏👏.

DFAMA · 03/04/2020 20:18

I'm a key worker working from home, I have had my children with me this week but if this drags on much longer they will need to go to school while I work from home. Your neighbours may be in a similar position or the children might have special needs or be on a child protection plan

ThirtySomeThin · 03/04/2020 20:20

Both me and DH are key workers wfh most of the time. Our children are at school 9am to 3pm. Some jobs have been deemed essential and that means I can’t work half a day. I have to work a full day, often with about 6 hours on the phone. Same for DH. We’re also working evenings and weekends (which we split to look after the kids).
Perhaps you should stop assuming the worst in people in you don’t know. If you can’t do that, probably best to mind your own business.

Malvinaa81 · 03/04/2020 20:48

Your work isn't perhaps terribly demanding or important?

Were you like this in your previous home?

If you see a criminal act, report it, otherwise stop the Miss Marple stuff.

Do you know "Lady of Letters" by Alan Bennett- do watch it.....

Queeftastic · 03/04/2020 20:50

You've made an assumption based on no actual knowledge whatsoever. Sorry, but there it is.

Loads of reasons why the children could still be in school, and key workers ARE working from home. You have no idea what these people do professionally or how they manage their hours or the status of their children.

leghairdontcare · 03/04/2020 20:52

Can't wait until op bangs on the door demanding answers and finds out their word leading epidemiology experts.

CaryStoppins · 03/04/2020 20:57

@Ladyglitterfairydust - key workers wfh should have their children at home if possible.
It's not always possible to do a good job and look after small children.
Bet you wouldn't be happy to have a phone/video appointment with a therapist for example and find they are bouncing a fractious toddler on their knee at the same time?
Or if someone in charge of, say, managing all the excess dead bodies or ordering PPE for frontline NHS staff makes lots of mistakes and misses deadlines because they are also doing childcare?

LotsaDo · 03/04/2020 21:28

Perhaps you should stop assuming the worst in people in you don’t know. If you can’t do that, probably best to mind your own business.

Amen to this. If only more people were as sensible.

Flowersforpowers · 03/04/2020 22:04

"Safely care for" is being horribly misunderstood. If you're a GP doing phone consults you cannot have your child in the same room as you. If they're young, having them in a different room behind a shut door is not "safely caring" for them.

DH and I are both key workers. He is working outside of the house, I'm working from home. I've chosen to keep our child with me, even though it's a nightmare. There are other job roles in my organisation where it would be impossible and I would be forced to use childcare.

Why do I expect that everyone on here bitching about key workers using the childcare they need are the same people shaming their neighbours who don't clap for the NHS...?

longwayoff · 03/04/2020 22:16

Ladyglitter. You're a teacher? Interesting. Please let us know how many parents you're permitting to leave their children at school with you because they "want a quiet day at home". As you know, this is not within the rules. Why are you accommodating them? Very odd.

Hairyfairy01 · 03/04/2020 22:42

Even keyworkers in both of my kids schools have been told if they are working from home they should not be using the schools 'childcare'. Possibly the children's are 'children in need' eg at risk in some way. I can see why you are annoyed OP, I would probably be the same. But ultimately we don't really know what is going on.

HuggedTheRedwoods · 03/04/2020 22:48

im sure I'll speak to them at some point so I will have all the answers in due course not if your poor neighbours have noticed you spying on them everyday with your sucked lemon judgy pants face on you wont.

I'm a key worker, mainly working from home. We have letters confirming that status for schools, police checks if travelling etc. I guess your neighbours would have been provided with something similar to confirm their status.

h3av3n · 03/04/2020 23:06

How is it anything to do with you?

LonginesPrime · 03/04/2020 23:20

Also, the children might have an EHCP and therefore would be entitled to a school place - you can't tell by looking at them, you know.