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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I’ve been named and ‘shamed’

854 replies

EstuaryBird · 03/04/2020 09:32

Admittedly it’s only on our local WhatsApp group...

Opened it this morning and there’s a message from a ‘founder’ member of the group.

“Me, hubs and the kids were out last night making lots of noise for our NHS heroes. Disappointed to see that some of this group don’t care enough to give up 2 minutes of their time!!! Maybe you forgot..(then a list of names including mine). Will be sending you a reminder next week!!”

I know she’s a twat but I’m fuming. I’m not going to dignify it with a reply because she and her little crew of followers love a public war. I’m just going to ignore her but if she thinks she’s forcing me out next week she’s got another bloody think coming.

Tbh if I wasn’t on lockdown I wouldn’t even give it 2 thoughts but I’m winding myself up about it now!

AIBU to think that clapping is not compulsory and nobody else’s business?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 03/04/2020 10:56

Omg what a bitch. Couldn’t care less who clapped.

I would send a link to a hospital donation page and say “put your money where your clap is”

pudcat · 03/04/2020 10:56

No one in my road goes out. I appreciate what the key workers from all walks of life are doing but I really don't get this clapping. And to name and shame is atrocious and worse than all the do gooders reporting shoppers and walkers etc

brinelled · 03/04/2020 10:56

Nobody hears me do it either because I'm with BUPA and they prefer us to do silent Jazz Hands

Mysterian · 03/04/2020 10:59

Start referring to her as Mrs Clap.

welldonejean · 03/04/2020 10:59

There's always a few on there isn't there?! I'm staying on our WA by the skin of my teeth because occasionally someone does put up some useful information but there are a handful of twats on there who are all, ' Does anyone have 3 spare grains of quinoa I can borrow?' or ' I have 2 extra mung beans about to go past their exp. date available.' Or wailing about the bloody Ocado queue - my suggestion to use ASDA which had loads of delivery slots for our area didn't go down well!
Too much time on their hands- I mean I know we ALL do at the moment but I'm managing to fill mine without curtain twitching and wondering why #77 has gone out 3, THREE! times today.
Spoiler - I'm #77... ones for a medical appt, once for exercise and once to shop for someone isolated...

YetAnotherSpartacus · 03/04/2020 11:00

This is better than a parking thread

how can we include a diagram

BookWitch · 03/04/2020 11:00

I'm in our village Whatsapp group, helping neighbours with shopping/picking up prescriptions etc, everyone pulling together (virtually obv), it's nice. Fortunately it has generally nice people in it, not complete bellends.

I am extremely fortunate that I work from home and always have, so this is not a massive upheaval and learning curve for me. I am working every evening 7-10.30 this week (and thanking my lucky stars!)
So I was not out clapping. So shoot me.

The comment about the North Korean rallies and the first person to stop cheering gets shot - totally spot on

user12345796 · 03/04/2020 11:01

Look at the spontaneous demonstrations in Animal Farm.

welldonejean · 03/04/2020 11:02

We did clap, partly for theNHS peeps because it's literally the only time we see the several lots of lovely neighbours nearest us and we miss them!

JudyCoolibar · 03/04/2020 11:03

Ask this madwoman what she did to support the NHS when the Tories were cheering at having defeated attempts to improve pay and conditions.

amymel2016 · 03/04/2020 11:03

She’s used the word ‘hubs’ that tells you everything you need to know

Envy not envy

FuckPolitenessSSDGM · 03/04/2020 11:04

Really? What time would their shift start if they were still asleep at 8 pm?

I used to have shifts that started at midnight as a clinical worker in the NHS. Some have very irregular shifts. Even if they finished their 12 hour shift at 7pm they might be desperate for some peace and an early night.

TrickyD · 03/04/2020 11:05

She sounds the sort of person who would have joined the ludicrous “Clap for Boris” event proposed for last Sunday.

By the way, did anyone actually do that?

Thymelord · 03/04/2020 11:06

OP ask her if she can organise a clap tonight to show appreciation for the people that clap for the NHS

This really made me laugh Grin

Yogawoogie · 03/04/2020 11:06

We miss it anyway because we are either driving home from work (NHS!) or at work!
My mum called and asked if I had clapped and wasn’t happy that I hadn’t been able to. I was driving home after working all day.... as a nurse!

DoctorTwo · 03/04/2020 11:06

Whenever somebody tries to publically shame me, whether in person or online I reply with a quote from Fred Gassit: "Get a big black dog up yer".

Joliany · 03/04/2020 11:06

Wtf? 😂 What a busybody loser.

shrill · 03/04/2020 11:06

It is so annoying. When people have to work nights and need to sleep in the day how many of those banging pan lids and setting off fireworks ever give a thought for others when playing their music loudly or cutting their lawns more than nature requires. Sorry little rant over!

I'd say did you mean to be so rude!

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 03/04/2020 11:08

OMG - but I wouldn't leave the group - looks like you're running scared.

You could say (as discussed) other threads that some NHS staff find it cringe and patronising and you were respecting those people.

I saw footage of NHS workers being clapped by supermarket staff and being handed bunches of flowers as they filed in during their priority shopping hour with their trolleys one morning - some of them looked mortified and were visibly cringing. That would have been me

Redwinestillfine · 03/04/2020 11:08

The devil in me would want to set up a new Street WhatsApp and invite everyone else then leave one by one ....... Your be kind was taking the higher ground. Maybe you could post something about everyone agreeing to ground rules like be supportive and no negative posts!!

blueheaven97 · 03/04/2020 11:09

I thought the first week's clapping was a really nice showing of community spirit and support. It felt a bit special, but I saw it as a one-off. Doing it every week becomes contrived and cringe-worthy and I think it will die out pretty quickly. Where I live there was definitely a big reduction in the number of people doing it last night in comparison to the previous week.

housemdwaswrong · 03/04/2020 11:10

I'd have to go and sit in the garden until 7.50, drink and book in hand. Check watch, and slowly pack chair up and go back in at 7.55, shutting the door firmly. Idiots.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 03/04/2020 11:10

I am vindictive so I would add everyone but her to a new whatsapp group called “street name kind people” and move all discussion there.

No, that's not the grown-up way to do things. This is what to do:

  1. A New Group has been set up: 'Acacia Avenue Neighbours' Support Group'
  2. Add ALL neighbours, including Kim Jong-Jill
  3. Message to all: "Welcome to the group: this is a new POSITIVE support group for everybody's benefit - no bullying or unkindness or vomit-inducing references to your husband as 'hubs' allowed."
wait 5 minutes and then
  1. The Group Name has been changed to 'Acacia Avenue KIND Neighbours' Support Group'
  2. Jill has been removed
Puddlelane123 · 03/04/2020 11:10

As soon as you referenced her use of the word ‘hubs’, I knew what you were up against.

Sympathies.

Joliany · 03/04/2020 11:10

Whilst I'm sure the NHS appreciated it, I think they'd appreciate more pay and PPE. Asking what shes doing to help about that.

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