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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Man with persistent cough shopping with partner - just why?!?

636 replies

Defenbaker · 02/04/2020 23:17

I went shopping today, for essential items, to a large supermarket. There was a small queue, with a security guard letting people enter as others left, to ensure social distancing inside. All very calm and not many people inside, so that was good.

However, in the second aisle there was a man coughing. I thought, oh well, it's probably nothing, just an ordinary cough, don't panic. I avoided him anyway, just in case. However, he then kept on coughing, at regular intervals, all around the shop. He never once used a tissue, or even his hand or the crook of his arm to catch the cough, and the cough was just the sort of dry, persistent cough that medics have described as a symptom! Regardless of whether he had the Covid19 virus or not, he was certainly not being careful to keep his germs to himself. I wondered how many people he could be infecting.

Although I tried my best to avoid him, he then appeared quite near me, where I was using the self scan till. This conversation took place:

Me: "It might be a good idea if you wait outside while your partner does the shopping, as you have a cough."

(He looked stunned, as though the idea hadn't occurred to him.)
Him: "Oh, it's just a cough, I don't have a temperature!"

Me: "That's a symptom, you might have it, you don't know."
Him: "I've been to the doctor... I don't have it."

Me: "So, have you had the test then? Did you have a negative result?"
Him: "The doctor said I'm fine... " (He looked shifty, like he was tempted to lie but found it difficult while I fixed my gaze on him.)
Me: "Even if you haven't got it, people are bound to be anxious when you're coughing all over the store. It really would be best if you wait outside."
Him: "Mmm... maybe... "

All the time his partner said nothing. I got the impression she was a bit embarassed to be with him, as she knew how others would view his germ ridden presence.

He then sloped off. AIBU to think that he had no reason to accompany another (able bodied) adult around the shop, and should have known better than to behave so thoughtlessly during this health crisis?

OP posts:
MH1111 · 03/04/2020 07:54

No one other than the police have the right to question a member of the public.
Even then they only have the right in certain circumstances as laid down by statue law.

Any other questioning is at best in appropriate.

Groovee · 03/04/2020 07:55

I've had a cough since January. It's in my health history to get a cough and have it for weeks, even chest infections give me a cough for weeks. I know it's not covid-19 it's just the way my body work. Trying hard not to cough when out but in the strong winds it's been tough as it takes my breathe away.

peterlon1 · 03/04/2020 07:56

very true @MH1111 inappropriate is a polite way of putting it

inflam · 03/04/2020 07:58

Bottom line is the ignorant bastard shouldn't have gone to the shops with a cough. It's not fucking rocket science.

Such an attitude towards people. People are allowed to leave the house with a cough. Not a single thing has been said regarding staying in if you have a cough.

You self isolate if you have

  • a new continuous cough

and/or

  • temperature of 37.5 or above

That. Is. All.

People with a bloody cough for a whole manner of other reasons are allowed out.

itgetsthehoseagain · 03/04/2020 07:58

My husband has a condition that irritates his vocal cords and about 4 times a day will erupt into a dry coughing fit. My daughter has hay fever and can sneeze until she can't stop laughing. We are basically pariah dogs.

peterlon1 · 03/04/2020 07:59

OMG it's the bloody cough police, quick everyone hide

barnabybenny · 03/04/2020 08:00

What don’t people understand? If he had lung cancer or smokers cough or whatever then he could still be a carrier of COVID-19 and therefore his cough droplets would be infectious. Not everyone has the same symptoms and not everyone gets symptoms, just because you’re ur cough isn’t a COVID-19 cough doesn’t mean you can’t infect other people.

Anything that makes you distribute your droplets to everyone means you stay at home. This is why everyone will keep spreading it!

Bananabixfloof · 03/04/2020 08:00

Although I tried my best to avoid him
Just reread the OP.
Well, you could have just left the shop, therefore avoiding him completely.

Bananabixfloof · 03/04/2020 08:03

Anything that makes you distribute your droplets to everyone means you stay at home. This is why everyone will keep spreading it
Have you read any of the replies? All saying had a cough for weeks or in some cases years. Are you actually saying we should all stay home? For how long? This thing could easily take 2 years. Am I supposed to stay indoors for 2 years?

Carbosug · 03/04/2020 08:05

I've had a cough for the last week. It's due to a sinus infection. That being said I wouldn't walk around a supermarket coughing and coughing if I had a partner who could go out and do the shopping. And I would certainly cough into my sleeve or a handkerchief. He was being thoughtless and inconsiderate. A lot of people out shopping might be living with someone who is very vulnerable and somebody behaving like that man could really worry and upset them.

peterlon1 · 03/04/2020 08:06

Not everyone has the same symptoms and not everyone gets symptoms, just because you’re ur cough isn’t a COVID-19 cough doesn’t mean you can’t infect other people.

@barnabybenny you said it right there how the bloody hell do you know without a test? and from what OP said he said he'd been to his Dr and was ok RTFT

maddening · 03/04/2020 08:09

Yanbu, he was with a partner, 2 grown adults are not required for shopping, he could have waited outside /in the car/at home etc regardless of any unknown genuine cough reason even terminal cancer. (ffs Pps reaching)

maddening · 03/04/2020 08:11

Peter ion - wow if. Dr's can diagnose like this without testing wtf are we.doing getting tests,. These GPS are obviously infallible geniui!

peterlon1 · 03/04/2020 08:12

No it will not take 2 years it will be same a MERS and SARS they are still about but just in background now as their big cousin has taken over but like them he'll be put on the back burn er before long, this is what annoys me so about all the distancing, didn't do it with MERS or with SARS and they cause just a many people to fall seriously ill due to underlying health issues as this one. Main difference is that this one got out further than last 2. the all came from same place and caused by same issues.

maddening · 03/04/2020 08:13

And if it was not a new persistent cough due to hay-fever. Etc. Then I am sure the man would have said so.

LouLouLoo · 03/04/2020 08:14

You think questioning someone breaking NHS guidelines in a pandemic is inappropriate?

That's not what the OP did though. She just made assumptions and told him what he should be doing. Nothing to say you can't go out if you have a cough, guidelines say you should self isolate if you have a new, persistent cough.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 03/04/2020 08:14

yabu, poor man

userxx · 03/04/2020 08:14

@walkaround. I said I dread the thought, it's not happened. Also where did sneezing come into it? I didn't mention sneezing. Your post comes across very judgmental. Thankfully I think you're in the minority.

peterlon1 · 03/04/2020 08:16

@maddening well they seem to be able to do it over the phone too according to someone yesterday so yes they are bloody cleaver I asked 3 times if they had been tested before i got the answer no, so i then said how do you know 100% it is Covid 19? they had no answer. But this is just where the false figures come from, if anyone has symptoms and phones Dr or 111 they tell them oh yes you have it and mark it down as a confirmed case. BUT IT IS NOT CONFIRMED

TatianaBis · 03/04/2020 08:18

I've had a cough for the last week. It's due to a sinus infection.

Sinus infection doesn’t cause a cough per se - it’s the other way round - colds and flu strains can cause sinusitis.

Equally, cough + sinusitis can be symptoms of CoVid.

peterlon1 · 03/04/2020 08:19

Why oh Why can we not be like Finland and just test everyone and get it over with

stairgates · 03/04/2020 08:20

It does not take 2 adults to do the shopping, he should have been at home and knew it, well done for speaking up, hopefully he wont be out again.

RU562341 · 03/04/2020 08:20

But this is just where the false figures come from, if anyone has symptoms and phones Dr or 111 they tell them oh yes you have it and mark it down as a confirmed case. BUT IT IS NOT CONFIRMED

This is not true. Only lab confirmed cases go in the figures.

peterlon1 · 03/04/2020 08:20

@TatianaBis are you a Dr or Nurse or a Specialist in health in any way?

if no then if that person was told by a DR that is what it was who are you to disagree?

stairgates · 03/04/2020 08:21

It must have been a new cough as he had been to the dr recently.