Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 7 8 9 ··· 25 26

Original poster

Man with persistent cough shopping with partner - just why?!?

636 replies

Defenbaker · 02/04/2020 23:17

I went shopping today, for essential items, to a large supermarket. There was a small queue, with a security guard letting people enter as others left, to ensure social distancing inside. All very calm and not many people inside, so that was good.

However, in the second aisle there was a man coughing. I thought, oh well, it's probably nothing, just an ordinary cough, don't panic. I avoided him anyway, just in case. However, he then kept on coughing, at regular intervals, all around the shop. He never once used a tissue, or even his hand or the crook of his arm to catch the cough, and the cough was just the sort of dry, persistent cough that medics have described as a symptom! Regardless of whether he had the Covid19 virus or not, he was certainly not being careful to keep his germs to himself. I wondered how many people he could be infecting.

Although I tried my best to avoid him, he then appeared quite near me, where I was using the self scan till. This conversation took place:

Me: "It might be a good idea if you wait outside while your partner does the shopping, as you have a cough."

(He looked stunned, as though the idea hadn't occurred to him.)
Him: "Oh, it's just a cough, I don't have a temperature!"

Me: "That's a symptom, you might have it, you don't know."
Him: "I've been to the doctor... I don't have it."

Me: "So, have you had the test then? Did you have a negative result?"
Him: "The doctor said I'm fine... " (He looked shifty, like he was tempted to lie but found it difficult while I fixed my gaze on him.)
Me: "Even if you haven't got it, people are bound to be anxious when you're coughing all over the store. It really would be best if you wait outside."
Him: "Mmm... maybe... "

All the time his partner said nothing. I got the impression she was a bit embarassed to be with him, as she knew how others would view his germ ridden presence.

He then sloped off. AIBU to think that he had no reason to accompany another (able bodied) adult around the shop, and should have known better than to behave so thoughtlessly during this health crisis?

OP posts:

RU562341 · 03/04/2020 07:20

YWBVU to question him on if he had a test- none of your business.
YWNBU to object to him coughing everywhere.
But I don't reckon this exchange took place anyway.

snowybean · 03/04/2020 07:23

The UK will not get through this any time soon if the attitudes on this thread are representative.

+1 to this sentiment

AnyOldSpartabix · 03/04/2020 07:25

YWBVU to question him on if he had a test- none of your business.

It isn’t, but to be fair, she wasn’t really asking if he’d had a test. She was challenging a pretty obvious lie.

peterlon1 · 03/04/2020 07:26

Poor man you had no right to question him, if you didn't like his cough why speak to him, that would be just asking for trouble. My niece just before lockdown had a bad cold, she was on a bus, she was coughing and spluttering into a tissue and was on her way home from the doctors. So woman told her to get off the bus as she didn't want to catch Covid 19, my poor niece who is only 20 didn't know what to say. I know what I would have told her "if you are so worried you get off the bus" cheeky cow

OutComeTheWolves · 03/04/2020 07:27

Oh ffs have a bit of common sense. My dad's had a persistent cough for the past ten years; it's a side effect of the medication he's on. I'd be livid if someone tried to stop him from getting his shopping in.

I can't stand the way this pandemic has turned some people into little policemen. Most people are pretty sensible and able to determine if their cough is new or not.

Furthermore if you've had covid-19 you're allowed out after 7 days even if the cough is present (as long as the fever has gone). Most people have reported that it's taken the cough weeks to disappear, add to that we're coming up to allergy season and there's going to be a few people with a cough out and about.

YouDoYou18 · 03/04/2020 07:27

He could have had this cough for 4 weeks, you only have to self isolate for the first 7 days. And there are many medical conditions that also cause a cough. I understand that you’re worried but YABU.

peterlon1 · 03/04/2020 07:29

@OutComeTheWolves couldn't agree more, total paranoia and the way people are acting so nasty due to this virus is more deadly than the bloody virus itself.

Newnamedillydally · 03/04/2020 07:30

There are so many reasons why people cough. Some people cough year round myself included unfortunately I have asthma. Does that mean I can’t go out to provide for my family?

Marnie76 · 03/04/2020 07:30

I don’t know why people keep pointing out that he could have some other problem causing the cough. If this was the case he should have stayed away from people for his own benefit surely.

And regardless of any of this, why couldn’t he cough into a tissue or something rather than spraying it out, that’s just a no brainier.

RU562341 · 03/04/2020 07:32

As an aside, someone posted on a local group for my town a shaming picture of a woman who "keeps going out". She actually photographed this woman and said she'd been out four times that week.
After a lot of slagging off the poor woman in the comments, someone jumped in and said she was a nurse walking to work at the local hospital- in her own clothes as advised.
Some idiots are so happy to pounce on people it's scary.

inflam · 03/04/2020 07:33

I don’t know why people keep pointing out that he could have some other problem causing the cough. If this was the case he should have stayed away from people for his own benefit surely.

I don't know why people knew saying this. Shielding is not compulsory. Anyone who has an underlying health condition can choose not to shield if they so wish. It's not up to random strangers to be staying what others should be doing.

peterlon1 · 03/04/2020 07:35

you know I get the point he should be coughing into a tissue etc, that is just politeness in social circles, but what about the person who hasn't got the cough or fever yet? and in the supermarkets they have air con and fridges that blow out air the whole time so any virus of any sort is being blown about the supermarket anyway

maa1992 · 03/04/2020 07:38

What if he always had a cough? Or lung cancer? Or something personal that he didn't wish to announce in public to a complete stranger.

If you'd of come up to me questioning me I'd of told you straight.

ComeTheFuck0nBridget · 03/04/2020 07:40

OP, YADNBU. It doesn't matter what the reason for the cough is, people are rightly anxious at this time. If he was coughing he could have done something like wear a mask or scarf, or covered his mouth some other way. Can't believe people think otherwise to be honest.

OutComeTheWolves · 03/04/2020 07:40

I have every right to challenge someone who appeared to be putting the health of other at risk.

No you really don't.

cologne4711 · 03/04/2020 07:41

OP - you do know people can have coughs for other things?

What is wrong with everyone?

Mind you, it reminds me of the meme I saw on Twitter - "I used to cough to cover up farts, now I fart to cover up coughs"

Bananabixfloof · 03/04/2020 07:42

how anti-social tonot even attemptto cover your mouth
This i agree with, and if anything was going to be said, then "cover your mouth while you cough please" would have been ok. However to harass anyone for medical details is just not in. Unless OP is health England then it's none of her fucking business

not enough people challenge outrageous behaviour
So when you are challenged on something I dunno your shopping or your need to be outside at all even in your garden, or why are you driving anywhere at all ever, or really taking a flight to see your kids, or even worse your kids all taking flights to see you, will you be very accommodating and answer all questions civilly?

peterlon1 · 03/04/2020 07:43

have every right to challenge someone who appeared to be putting the health of other at risk

Who pinned the badge on your chest?

cologne4711 · 03/04/2020 07:45

I have every right to challenge someone who appeared to be putting the health of other at risk

No you don't and it's effective the same argument as the hidden disability one. Someone is sitting in a disabled seat, they don't "look" disabled, so you decide it's ok to challenge them. Same applies here, you have no idea what is wrong with someone.

It's common sense to wear a scarf or something over your face if you are coughing a lot though.

Bananabixfloof · 03/04/2020 07:45

You think questioning someone breaking NHS guidelines in a pandemic is inappropriate

Guidelines, not laws.

Mary1935 · 03/04/2020 07:50

I think you did the right thing op. I’m curious about his partner. I’m making an assumption that he’s one of those who does wtf he likes.
It’s curious the wife didn’t speak up for him to defend him which makes me think he was lying.
There are lots of women living with controlling and abusive men.
He hadn’t actually physically seen the GP - they wouldnt touch him with a barge pole. He would have been told to contact 111.
They would have told him to isolate. If he had isolated he would have said.

beautifulteeth · 03/04/2020 07:50

Nope I'm with you op.

Dirty git didn't even attempt
to cover his mouth.

This is the very reason we are being told to stay at home and self isolate. As well as social distance ourselves.

Medical and scientific advisers are telling us to. It's not something that's going on for fun ffs.

It's irrelevant why he's coughing . It's inevitable at the moment he should stay at home if he has a cough and understandable why strangers would approach him.

He could possibly infect hundreds of people if he has Covid 19. If he doesn't, then happy days.

Bottom line is the ignorant bastard shouldn't have gone to the shops with a cough. It's not fucking rocket science.

peterlon1 · 03/04/2020 07:51

My late wife and I were challenged by someone in a car park once as we walked back to the car. This woman said "just because you have a new car doesn't give you the right to park in a disable bay" my wife and I turned around at which point i said "no the car doesn't but the nasal cannula and bottle of oxygen in the trolley do thanks"

Runmybathforme · 03/04/2020 07:52

There are many reasons he might have a cough. None of which are any of your business. Or would you expect him to share his medical history with you ? There are increasing posts on here from people busybodying. Yes, it’s annoying to see people flouting the advice, but you do not know the facts behind peoples behaviour. You sound like you were interrogating him. I’d have told you to fuck right off.

peterlon1 · 03/04/2020 07:53

@beautifulteeth how do you know he was't on the way back from his doctors whom he had said he'd seen and said he was ok not that is any of anyone's business but his. Already agreed about covering his mouth.

Flip

1 2 ··· 7 8 9 ··· 25 26