Man with persistent cough shopping with partner - just why?!?

[Defenbaker]

I went shopping today, for essential items, to a large supermarket. There was a small queue, with a security guard letting people enter as others left, to ensure social distancing inside. All very calm and not many people inside, so that was good.

However, in the second aisle there was a man coughing. I thought, oh well, it's probably nothing, just an ordinary cough, don't panic. I avoided him anyway, just in case. However, he then kept on coughing, at regular intervals, all around the shop. He never once used a tissue, or even his hand or the crook of his arm to catch the cough, and the cough was just the sort of dry, persistent cough that medics have described as a symptom! Regardless of whether he had the Covid19 virus or not, he was certainly not being careful to keep his germs to himself. I wondered how many people he could be infecting.

Although I tried my best to avoid him, he then appeared quite near me, where I was using the self scan till. This conversation took place:

Me: "It might be a good idea if you wait outside while your partner does the shopping, as you have a cough."

(He looked stunned, as though the idea hadn't occurred to him.)
Him: "Oh, it's just a cough, I don't have a temperature!"

Me: "That's a symptom, you might have it, you don't know."
Him: "I've been to the doctor... I don't have it."

Me: "So, have you had the test then? Did you have a negative result?"
Him: "The doctor said I'm fine... " (He looked shifty, like he was tempted to lie but found it difficult while I fixed my gaze on him.)
Me: "Even if you haven't got it, people are bound to be anxious when you're coughing all over the store. It really would be best if you wait outside."
Him: "Mmm... maybe... "

All the time his partner said nothing. I got the impression she was a bit embarassed to be with him, as she knew how others would view his germ ridden presence.

He then sloped off. AIBU to think that he had no reason to accompany another (able bodied) adult around the shop, and should have known better than to behave so thoughtlessly during this health crisis?

@CallMeRachel

Why don't you explain? A monkey emoji also means nothing. If you are going to have a pop at me at least have the decency to explain what the fuck you are on about.

Yanbu

When was he confined as having the virus?

Did you miss the 'could have' part?

She didn't know if he did or didn't have the virus, and he didn't know if he did or didn't. He said he hadn't been tested.

Now is not the time to take risks with one's own or other peoples health or lives.

Amazing how offended some can be on behalf of a person who showed no common decency to others by coughing openly in the middle of a global pandemic.

@1000atfc5423 read what we have been saying she sould have stayed away from him for her own safety.

and does anybody actually know if the woman on his bus had the virus? as a bus driver anybody could have given it to him and not necessarily someone with a persistent cough, what if someone was sweating and wiped away sweat and then handed him something and he had a cut on his hand or he touched his face?

again too many variables and no real proof.

@Jezebel101 he wasn't and he said he'd been to his doctor who said he was fine but without a test no way of knowing, it's like people ring their doctor and/or 111 tell them their symptoms and they get told you have it self isolate, but we all know that some people have no symptoms and some only have mild ones and all the symptoms can be attributed to other things. ie a cough, a cold, or flu. so unless our useless government actually tests everybody we will never know true figures. In Finland that is how they kept numbers and deaths down they test the whole population. this lockdown model was based on an infection that happened 100 years ago, it is outdated we live in 21st Century and should have dealt with this outbreak much more effectively.

Can we seriously not just agree that the world has turned into a dangerous place, and that coughing without covering up is something that people should be pulled up on because it potentially puts others at risk - even lethal risk?

Is it really more important to be polite than it is to be healthy or even alive? Is someones right to dessimate a novel virus for which there is neither treatment nor cure more important to defend than public health?

There are some genuinely bizarre mental gymnastics on this thread.

I think you're being a bit paranoid.
There are many other medical reasons for a cough other than COVID-19.

Although I do think you should keep your distance if someone's coughing, you have zero business telling other people what to do.

Oh dear @Jezebel101 I am not saying they should not be told but i am saying it should be done by the right people in the right way, to protect yourself, hell I am not going to go up to someone coughing all over the place and say can you please put you hand over you mouth, he might punch my lights out and i am quite frail despite being a large man. either that or he may just deliberately cough at me and i cannot catch this virus. my point all along was she needs to keep herself safe. same as the rest of us. let them that's job it is do it. they should not have allowed him in to begin with in reality just to be safe. and on that note I need my morphine so will go out like a light very shortly. lol

Ah come on, nobody is saying anything about his responsibility, just having a go at the OP. Possibly because she's holding up a mirror, or ramming home how vulnerable we are when we're out and about.

Calling her a busybody isn't recommending she protect herself, it's just having a go. He's the one at fault, direct your ire in his direction.

@Jezebel101 I quite agree with you & OP... damn right!

@peterlon1 When people cannot take a stand based on common decency for all and have not a smidgen of compassion for anyone who isn't them; lets hope the universe is kind enough to ensure its them and theirs who get coughed on in public.... while waiting for the police to come !!!

I haven't seen any response on this thread that defended the man for coughing without covering his mouth.

The point is that the OP didn't say that she spoke to him about not covering his mouth, she had a go at him for being out of his house with a cough.

As has been stated many times, there are lots of reasons for having a cough and coughs from all sorts of infections (including coronavirus) can linger long after the infection has cleared up.

Of course I understand that people are frightened, but demonising people with coughs is a scary path to go down.

It is totally our business if someone is coughing, not covering their mouth and potentially spreading a fatal disease. It is our business and the OP was right to be concerned.

The thing several posters seem to be missing is that yes, he could have half a dozen other reasons for a cough and also be infected.

The cough doesn't mean he is infected but the not covering his mouth means if he is infected, he could be spreading it.

It's clear some posters are not that concerned for their fellow shoppers, but what about the staff too, he are risking catching this virus in order to come into work and do their jobs.

I think OP that if this were to happen again it would be good to report it to a staff member and ask them to speak to the person. Perhaps they could be provided with a complimentary pack of tissues by the store.

It's not about demonizing people, it's about encouraging everyone to look out for each other.

hope we can all stay safe.

It is very much about demonising people judging by many responses on this thread. The pp who mentioned the Stasi was spot on - those so keen to watch, judge and lecture others without the least bit of expertise or knowledge of their circumstances would be perfect candidates.

You’ll be trying to tar and feather asthmatics next for having the temerity to cough. Get a grip.

Plus as has been pointed out hundreds of times, the OP would have been justified in asking him to use a tissue. She didn’t though did she? She got straight in there with her expert medical evaluation before telling him he should leave the shop. She forgot to mention tissues such was her haste to reprimand him - funny that.

This couple shouldn't have been shopping together, we have been told one adult to do the shopping

But surely you can see that doesn’t really work. Great if you are a household of one or two, that’s a once a week trip, but if you are a household of 6 all it does is force that one adult to go out shopping every day. How is this sensible?

I can go out and am limited to one container of fresh milk, 1 packet mince or 2 packets of other meats, 2 cans (tomatoes, corn, beans etc - not 2 of each but just 2 cans in total), one long life milk product etc. With the restrictions what I, as one adult, can bring home would be lucky to feed our household of 5 adult/adult sized people for 2 days. I doubt one container of fresh milk would go far in a family of 4 young children!

So that leaves 2 options. If as a household you just want to be exposed to the shops once a week then everyone needs to go to collect their fill of the rations. You just enter separately and then go through checkout separately. OR you elect one person to be exposed at the shops every day, or take it in turns with a different person going every day. We take the first option so all of us go together, then going round we do do in pairs with the odd one as a straggler. Seems stupid not to given we all sit next to each other in the car, at home on the lounge etc.

Sorry, should have added the sensible thing would be to make rationing on a per household basis rather than per person at the checkout. It would be easy for a young family as everyone would be on the one health card but that wouldn’t work for households with older kids as they get removed to a single. Many other ways it could work though, for instance I could take every person in our households photo licence showing we all live at the one address and rations could be adjusted that way. But nope, all too hard supposedly.

Perhaps they could be provided with a complimentary pack of tissues by the store.

That’s hysterical. If they brought that in we would all be in the stores coughing in order to obtain a pack as that would seem the only way to get one! We are rationed you one but can’t obtain them anyway so I vote for this being made policy. I would also go in and shit on the floor if it scored me a pack of toilet paper!

We're a family of 5 and shopping once a week is working for us. No top up shops but that's ok. OP you did the right thing, thank you for talking to him. His partner was able to do the shopping so he could've waited outside and he didn't even have good manners to cover his mouth. Yuck. He hasn't been tested he said so who knows. I believe I'm recovering from covid 19 but haven't been tested. It was/is bloody horrible

We're a family of 5 and shopping once a week is working for us

2 packs of meat (generally 2x 500g odd), 2 tins and one container of milk lasts all of you a week with everyone being at home all day?

@HoppingPavlova

Restrictions have been lifted on most things now anyway. Supermarkets have caught up.

FFS it isn't illegal to say something to someone about something they are doing. If she had become threatening or physical then yes, but let's not go about making laws. It would probably have been more embarrassing for him for a member of staff to have been told, no doubt people would have been saying if you're going to say something grow some balls and tell them yourself .

If his reply was he had lung cancer he'd be even more stupid as he should be at home as he would be particularly at risk

OP, I think you did the right thing.
A)If he had the cough for a long standing reason he would have immediately have been able to come up with it but he didn’t.
B)he should have been coughing into something
C) if you go out with your partner (not advised) and you have a persistent cough (obvious symptom of the national pandemic from which over 600 people died in one day yesterday) you should expect people are going to say something FFS

I’m really surprised by the beginning of this thread, if more people challenged those who are (potentially in this case) putting the rest of us in danger by being twats and thinking the rules don’t apply to them, we would still be in this mess but we might be coming out of it quicker and with less people dead. Sometimes we’re just so damn British about everything I could scream.

You sound very condescending abd a right know it all!

He looked shifty
He's not a smoker, because you'd smell it
He sloped off

MYOB!

Honestly expecting someone in the supermarket to dislodge medical information is awful.

And as for he was in every aisle you were, he was probably thinking the same about YOU! He's probably saying the interfering woman was everywhere I turned.