Man with persistent cough shopping with partner - just why?!?

[Defenbaker]

I went shopping today, for essential items, to a large supermarket. There was a small queue, with a security guard letting people enter as others left, to ensure social distancing inside. All very calm and not many people inside, so that was good.

However, in the second aisle there was a man coughing. I thought, oh well, it's probably nothing, just an ordinary cough, don't panic. I avoided him anyway, just in case. However, he then kept on coughing, at regular intervals, all around the shop. He never once used a tissue, or even his hand or the crook of his arm to catch the cough, and the cough was just the sort of dry, persistent cough that medics have described as a symptom! Regardless of whether he had the Covid19 virus or not, he was certainly not being careful to keep his germs to himself. I wondered how many people he could be infecting.

Although I tried my best to avoid him, he then appeared quite near me, where I was using the self scan till. This conversation took place:

Me: "It might be a good idea if you wait outside while your partner does the shopping, as you have a cough."

(He looked stunned, as though the idea hadn't occurred to him.)
Him: "Oh, it's just a cough, I don't have a temperature!"

Me: "That's a symptom, you might have it, you don't know."
Him: "I've been to the doctor... I don't have it."

Me: "So, have you had the test then? Did you have a negative result?"
Him: "The doctor said I'm fine... " (He looked shifty, like he was tempted to lie but found it difficult while I fixed my gaze on him.)
Me: "Even if you haven't got it, people are bound to be anxious when you're coughing all over the store. It really would be best if you wait outside."
Him: "Mmm... maybe... "

All the time his partner said nothing. I got the impression she was a bit embarassed to be with him, as she knew how others would view his germ ridden presence.

He then sloped off. AIBU to think that he had no reason to accompany another (able bodied) adult around the shop, and should have known better than to behave so thoughtlessly during this health crisis?

I've just seen the photo released on Twitter of the poor 13 year old's funeral. I'm not going to describe or post as some may already be suffering with mental health at this time, but I wish all the people ignoring the guidance could see it. Perhaps a real wake up call.

The whole point people are trying to make though is that nobody knows this man was ignoring guidelines.

The rules are

• A new continuous cough

and/or

• A temperature of 37.8 or above

Not a single person on this thread knows if the man fits into that category or not.

Did you miss the 49 million suggestions as to other reasons for the cough?

No, I didn't. Did you miss the part where one of them, the one we're told to cover our mouths when we cough so we don't spread it, is potentially deadly?

What a time to be alive. Where people bitch about people being rude but it's okay for someone to do exactly the opposite of what people are instructed to do to prevent transmission.

God forbid someone be rude to this guy. This guy who shows no respect for anyone in his orbit by coughing openly.

What is wrong with people? Does the UK have to turn into Italy before you start taking it seriously?

This link is also for information it really explains a huge amount.
www.spectator.co.uk/article/how-to-understand-and-report-figures-for-covid-19-deaths-

I've just seen the photo released on Twitter of the poor 13 year old's funeral. I'm not going to describe or post

Good. And fuck off.

No, I didn't. Did you miss the part where one of them, the one we're told to cover our mouths when we cough so we don't spread it, is potentially deadly?

No, I acknowledged that he should have been using a tissue.

It sounds like you did the right thing. It HAS to become socially unacceptable to be out in public when you have a cough. This is a serious situation, people are dying and people are scared. Rightly scared. Even if his cough wasn’t contagious he was still spreading his germs by coughing and any of us could be carriers and not know it. Now is the time for politeness and kindness but it is not the time to stay quiet because of social norms. We have to collectively call people out on it if they flout the rules. The rules are there to protect us ALL not just the more vulnerable. Any of us could catch it and die and we have a responsibility to the frontline staff that will be potentially traumatised by what they witness in the coming weeks. Now is not the time to ‘live and let live’ but directly, kindly and assertively requesting behaviour changes is a must. Well done!

Just to reiterate - any of you judging the possibly perfectly innocent cougher could be asymptomatically infected and be spreading Covid 19 to vulnerable people every time you leave the house.

It HAS to become socially unacceptable to be out in public when you have a cough.

Holy fuck - can you hear yourself?

It should be unacceptable to cough.

Go read the thread. Some people cough because they take medication or have lung condition etc.

This wins stupidest comment of the thread so far for me.

Give your head a bang off a wall or something

Thank you @inflam a point I have been trying to get across all day, nobody know he may have had the cough for months.

My BIL has several major problems like me one of the things he suffers in Arthritis and Psoriasis on his internal organs. outwardly he looks ok because of the chemo he take daily, but both the diseases and the Chemo make him have a dry cough and his temp is all over the place. but like me he is keeping indoors, but he has family that can do shopping I don't so I have to brave it every so often.

I choked on a mouthful of water the other day before I got out my car to go shopping, was coughing the whole time I was in tesco, people were looking at me like a leper.

People cough for all sorts of reasons.

Not a single person on this thread knows if the man fits into that category or not.

They know he didn't cover his mouth, and he knows if he has a persistent cough that it would make people anxious or else he's the least self aware person on the planet at the moment. Either way, he's at fault, not the OP.

The UK is a couple of weeks away from where Italy is now. Nobody here will be understanding of someone coughing around them when the full impact of a pandemic hits. Everyone will know of someone who died, everyone will know someone who stayed in bed for two weeks struggling to breathe, and everyone will be much less forgiving of people potentially shedding all over them before the next two months are out.

It's not going to be over quickly, it's going to change peoples lives for six months at least, and more likely closer to a year. The cost will be lived with for many years. The least - the very least - thing people should be able to expect of others is that they cover their mouths when coughing.

@Jezebel101 no one is saying he should not be told the whole point is who and how and it was not this ladies place in a store to question him, as stated she should have expressed her concerns to the store and let them deal with it, for her own safety. we are not the Covid police and do not have the right to question someone on someone else's property.the stores are only letting so many people in at a time so surely they most have heard him coughing outside, in which case they should have stopped him from entering. how do we know it wasn't the air con or the air the fridges pump out that had dried out his throat. said so many times her there are too many variable we don't know. Her only concern should have been for her safety, stay away from him inform store simlples!

@Jezebel101 point of fact the average age of those that died in Italy is 78.2 years so unless you are somewhere between 65 and 85 roughly you are probably safe unless you are one of the unfortunate ones who have an underlying condition that actually is exasperated by the virus causing your death. I am unfortunately one of the 1.2 million people in the UK most at risk.

@Jezebel101 still missing the point, we know he was wrong, but tackling him about it in the way she did was also wrong and illegal. she put herself at severe risk of harm.

Well, this is getting ridiculous now. OPs initial comment to this man was not even a question, and it made complete sense. You could even interpret it as being an attempt to protect him.

No one knows whether this man had covid or not, including the man himself. If two people are needed to carry the shop then either the partner does two journeys or he waits near the exit.

@peterlon1 I am sorry to hear that you are high risk. Keep yourself hunkered down. I think you do misunderstand the reality of the risk to everyone though.

@ Peterlon1, it's everyones job to stop that virus being transmitted. If he cleans up his act and either stays outside or covers his mouth, she could have saved someone else from that virus.

Probably safe is not safe. Younger people are less likely to suffer fatal illness, but even so it's not pleasant for many. Some may be lucky enough to have a mild illness, but most will find themselves feeling very ill for a time, and it's not something to take lightly. I might not not be in the vulnerable group but to imply it means I won't be affected is to disregard the cost of potentially seeing my parents die or other elderly family members.

I understand it's scary to be one of those most at risk, but I don't understand the abdication of collective responsibility in terms of slowing the transmission. It's everyones job to slow it down so the fatalities are as low as possible. If that guy changes his behaviour, the OP has done everyone a service and whether or not she should have phrased it differently is of vastly lesser importance than that is.

It's also worth noting that Italy has more intensive care and high dependency beds per capita than the UK, and that the UK is in lockstep with how Italy was some weeks ago. It's not going to be short or sharp. It's going to be horrific.

Being perceived as rude should be the last thing on anyones mind when someone else is POTENTIALLY putting them at risk. Most people won't die, but very many will have a horrible few weeks and some of those will be left with permanent lung damage.

That's not scaremongering or an opinion, that is a fact.

My god there is just no reasoning with stupid people in denial here is there!!

I'd love to check in with you @inflam in a couple of weeks

I won't be surprised if I don't get any response from you then.

@CallMeRachel

I genuinely have no idea what you mean.

If he cleans up his act and either stays outside or covers his mouth, she could have saved someone else from that virus

When was he confined as having the virus?

Just dropping this here.

www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/apr/03/detroit-bus-driver-dies-coronavirus-video-passenger-coughing?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

www.npr.org/sections/coronavirus-live-updates/2020/04/03/826817866/take-this-serious-bus-driver-dies-of-covid-19-after-calling-out-coughing-rider

This Detroit driver called out a woman passenger on his bus with a persistent cough. He died this week - 2 weeks later.

One person's right to cough does not out weigh everyone's else right to LIVE. Stop attacking this woman and take this VERY seriously.

AnyOldSpartabix Apologies .. we sent this about the same time.

I genuinely have no idea what you mean

🙈

@Inkpaperstars believe me I do not underestimate the risk but I have done a huge amount of reading(ex NHS) and I read a lot about the effect of SARS in Canada where it had quite a devastating effect as this is but both being coronavirus, MERS also they have transmuted slightly which is why this one has spread quicker. But there was a very nice doctor who wrote about their experiences during the SARS outbreak, and how they lost some good friends due to them not being away of health issues, they are more aware with this one for instance, they know that for some odd reason people with high blood pressure are at risk, but again it tends to be those who are unaware and not on corrective medication. I did post a couple of links on here for people to read they are written by one a pathologist retired from the NHS and the other an American Journalist who interviewed a scientist who did a study on the possible transmission for the virus from inanimate objects, eg letter, parcels, supermarket goods the likes. which is how and why they know that different materials keep traces of the virus longer than others, but the point here is trace as the virus starts to loose it's power by degrees of 50%( so say on card after half and hour the virus had lost 50% of it's strength, then by and hour it has lost another 50% of that remaining 50% and so on. his advice like our governments is wash your hands after touching something delivered to you or something you buy at the store. so the sound advice always to protect yourself is wash your hands often, stay away from people coughing or sneezing and wash your hands, wash your hands.

@tonyaster so you don't have a problem with someone going into a shop selling food and coughing constantly without covering their mouth
And you don't think, in the current situation where vulnerable people and those living with vulnerable people are terrified every time they have To go to the supermarket that they will pick up the virus, that people with a bad cough should make every attempt to alleviate people's fears egardkess of why they're coughing.

How much effort does it take to cover your mouth?