Man with persistent cough shopping with partner - just why?!?

[Defenbaker]

I went shopping today, for essential items, to a large supermarket. There was a small queue, with a security guard letting people enter as others left, to ensure social distancing inside. All very calm and not many people inside, so that was good.

However, in the second aisle there was a man coughing. I thought, oh well, it's probably nothing, just an ordinary cough, don't panic. I avoided him anyway, just in case. However, he then kept on coughing, at regular intervals, all around the shop. He never once used a tissue, or even his hand or the crook of his arm to catch the cough, and the cough was just the sort of dry, persistent cough that medics have described as a symptom! Regardless of whether he had the Covid19 virus or not, he was certainly not being careful to keep his germs to himself. I wondered how many people he could be infecting.

Although I tried my best to avoid him, he then appeared quite near me, where I was using the self scan till. This conversation took place:

Me: "It might be a good idea if you wait outside while your partner does the shopping, as you have a cough."

(He looked stunned, as though the idea hadn't occurred to him.)
Him: "Oh, it's just a cough, I don't have a temperature!"

Me: "That's a symptom, you might have it, you don't know."
Him: "I've been to the doctor... I don't have it."

Me: "So, have you had the test then? Did you have a negative result?"
Him: "The doctor said I'm fine... " (He looked shifty, like he was tempted to lie but found it difficult while I fixed my gaze on him.)
Me: "Even if you haven't got it, people are bound to be anxious when you're coughing all over the store. It really would be best if you wait outside."
Him: "Mmm... maybe... "

All the time his partner said nothing. I got the impression she was a bit embarassed to be with him, as she knew how others would view his germ ridden presence.

He then sloped off. AIBU to think that he had no reason to accompany another (able bodied) adult around the shop, and should have known better than to behave so thoughtlessly during this health crisis?

There are plenty of reasons people have coughs, even just the common cold which does still exist! Covid isn’t the only reason someone would be coughing.

Having said that, most supermarkets have a rule that only one person from a family can enter so I’m surprised the supermarket let them both in anyway.

He sounds like a twat, yes it could be nothing but why go out anyway? FFS there are so many able bodied adults who cannot seem to manage doing anything by themselves, like giant babies. It's pathetic.

A lot of assumptions about a complete stranger on here., horrible thread

He sounds like a twat, yes it could be nothing but why go out anyway?

He is not the one sounding like a twat here

If nothing else this virus has shown that some people find it impossible just to go about their own business.

Regardless of why someone has a cough, it is never ok to cough openly without covering their mouth, especially now.

I'm struggling to understand why people can't see that. Are they so lacking in manners and social awareness?

YANBU. Even if he had a smokers cough or emphesema (spelling?) lots of people thought they just had a mild cold at first if you watch their videos once recovered on the news. I watched something last night that said new research in the US shows micro droplets from sneezes & coughs travel twice as far as originally thought. That made me worry re the woman leaving her house who had a horrible cough as I was walking back home yesterday (approx 3m away). I did actually stop & wonder if I should cross over as she didn't cover her mouth & I had to pass her.

Regardless of why someone has a cough, it is never ok to cough openly without covering their mouth, especially now.

I'm struggling to understand why people can't see that.

People can see that.

Are they so lacking in manners and social awareness?

Almost as lacking as OP, who didn't suggest the man use a tissue, she told him it would be best if he waited outside.

FFS there are so many able bodied adults who cannot seem to manage doing anything by themselves, like giant babies. It's pathetic.

Almost as if there are lots of people out there with varying needs and levels of ability who may need extra support. Sick of these horrible judgemental statements.

If you're an able bodied, nt adult and can't manage to go food shopping alone then something has gone very wrong.

If you're an able bodied, nt adult and can't manage to go food shopping alone

How do you know that someone is nt or even fully able bodied. It's perfectly possible to appear to be both and not to be. As many pp have said, if they were allowed to enter the supermarket together then most likely they had a good reason.

OP my DP coughs as a side effect of medication. I have mobility issues, which wouldn't be obvious to strangers.

If you had questioned me or my DP in that way I would have told you to fuck off, you have no reason to know anyone's health conditions that's between me and my consultant.

If you said it to my DP, it would have bothered him for weeks as he has anxiety. But you wouldn't have known how much it would affect his mental health as you wouldn't deal with the fall out instead you would have disappeared full of own self importance.

I actually cannot believe there are people agreeing. You have no right to comment or question anyone.

Fuck sake - I was sick for 2 weeks - now into week 3 and my cough is still lingering - but I’m going out again - I’m so paranoid to cough in the supermarkets but can’t help it sometimes! I don’t care anymore I have a cough - followed the rules and stayed home for 14 days and now I need to go out again. I’d have told you to mind your own business if you spoke to me like that - it is actually none of your business - just avoid people like that in future - why were you even talking to the man??

Two people should not shop together if one can do it alone.

It's really really simple.

And yes, I know not all disabilities are visible etc but my above post is assuming they're not.

Also if one person has an invisible disability, the other partner could go shopping.

People are ridiculous. How on earth do you explain the couple I saw shopping with a toddler who had driven to the shop? Just no need.

Lots of people with disabilities are cared for by one person, they often cannot be left alone and I can assure you there is virtually no social care at the best of times at the moment there is Zero !

Lots of people with disabilities are cared for by one person, they often cannot be left alone and I can assure you there is virtually no social care at the best of times at the moment there is Zero !

Yes well that comes under the category that there's no other choice...same as single parents. If you can shop alone, then you should. Jeez, this is like pulling teeth.

Considering the number of couples I see shopping together, I don't for one minute believe they all have invisible disabilities.

Some couples are just so pathetically joined at the hip for no other reason than their own co dependency and insecurities, they can't bear to not do everything together.

Been with dh for well over a decade...I can count on my fingers the number of times we've entered a supermarket together.

I bet all the people criticising the OP, would not be happy to buy bread and fruit covered in someone else's spit and phlegm. If they could actually see it I bet they'd take a different view. It's not hard to cover your face if you cough.

Some couples are just so pathetically joined at the hip for no other reason than their own co dependency and insecurities, they can't bear to not do everything together. Been with dh for well over a decade...I can count on my fingers the number of times we've entered a supermarket together.

That doesn't make you any better than someone who usually does everything together. My parents tend to go to the supermarket together because they do so during an evening walk, at the moment one of them is waiting outside. They're not co dependent, just enjoy each others company. This is just some weird judgemental thing again, why does it matter to you what other people's relationships are like.
I, for one, haven't seen many couples shopping together in the last couple of weeks. It's been noticeable actually.

My parents tend to go to the supermarket together because they do so during an evening walk, at the moment one of them is waiting outside.

Yes that's sensible.

I'm talking about couples who are so joined at the hip that even a worldwide pandemic is not enough for them to be able to bear a solo shopping trip.

This is not to justify idiots still shopping together as a leisure activity. There are 7 million carers in the UK , not all full time and not all sole responsibility but there are more than you think !

Why would posters assume that they dont have a reason to shop together?

Because lots of people get a Daily Mail I'm a traffic warden don't you know attitude in thease situations.

@mary1935 oh please don't encourage OP -can just imagine how this "story" will be extended on the next forum she posts now where she invents the conversation with the "obviously scared girlfriend who she rescued from a life of DV"

Posters aren't reading the full thread. OP has answered multiple times to say that she regrets the last part of the communication with the man.

Posters are still venting as though she created the virus in her kitchen and should be ready to be stoned by an angry mob. Get over yourselves. The coughing twat probably doesn't care and is already in another shop hacking over some veg.

the coughing twat probably doesn't care and is already in another shop hacking over some veg. someone else who hasnt bothered to read the thread[hm]