Man with persistent cough shopping with partner - just why?!?

[Defenbaker]

I went shopping today, for essential items, to a large supermarket. There was a small queue, with a security guard letting people enter as others left, to ensure social distancing inside. All very calm and not many people inside, so that was good.

However, in the second aisle there was a man coughing. I thought, oh well, it's probably nothing, just an ordinary cough, don't panic. I avoided him anyway, just in case. However, he then kept on coughing, at regular intervals, all around the shop. He never once used a tissue, or even his hand or the crook of his arm to catch the cough, and the cough was just the sort of dry, persistent cough that medics have described as a symptom! Regardless of whether he had the Covid19 virus or not, he was certainly not being careful to keep his germs to himself. I wondered how many people he could be infecting.

Although I tried my best to avoid him, he then appeared quite near me, where I was using the self scan till. This conversation took place:

Me: "It might be a good idea if you wait outside while your partner does the shopping, as you have a cough."

(He looked stunned, as though the idea hadn't occurred to him.)
Him: "Oh, it's just a cough, I don't have a temperature!"

Me: "That's a symptom, you might have it, you don't know."
Him: "I've been to the doctor... I don't have it."

Me: "So, have you had the test then? Did you have a negative result?"
Him: "The doctor said I'm fine... " (He looked shifty, like he was tempted to lie but found it difficult while I fixed my gaze on him.)
Me: "Even if you haven't got it, people are bound to be anxious when you're coughing all over the store. It really would be best if you wait outside."
Him: "Mmm... maybe... "

All the time his partner said nothing. I got the impression she was a bit embarassed to be with him, as she knew how others would view his germ ridden presence.

He then sloped off. AIBU to think that he had no reason to accompany another (able bodied) adult around the shop, and should have known better than to behave so thoughtlessly during this health crisis?

'OP we know you are are a really wonderful person for telling this poor man off, do you really need the world to tell you this by posting it on MN'

Yes it seems she does as there's many confused posters who think coughing without covering mouths is ok as long as it isn't confirmed as Covid 19. Don't people understand you can't tell by looking who has it?!

We have to stop being so scared to be assertive. I don't mean telling people off for walking their dog twice a day, but coughing without even trying to cover is not ok.

The point is, it’s not ok to start acting like the SS.You don’t know who has what and why. Keep it that way. I hear North Korea is shooting people who they suspect may have the virus - maybe do your shopping there

This.

Just cover mouths when coughing! Fgs the whole point is it's in the op he was not even trying to cover his mouth with a hanky or his arm

“But why would you if it’s a congenital cough? If you have had a non-infectious cough for 15, 20, 25,75 years, why suddenly turn it into something it’s not?”

Why wouldn’t you HoppingPavlova?

You know it is congenital, the public doesn't. You don’t seem to “get” that people are worried and nervous because we are in the middle of the world’s most contagious pandemic since 1918. Please try and understand that while you may be used to living with someone with a continuous cough, other people aren’t

Stop being so defensive! And tell your cougher to cover their mouth when coughing out in public because you never know that some stranger might over-react. This is today’s reality.

I cough a lot since flu back in Feb. I wear a scarf over my mouth and nose.

If people wore masks in public as they should have done weeks ago this wouldnt be an issue.

The point is, it’s not ok to start acting like the SS.You don’t know who has what and why. Keep it that way. I hear North Korea is shooting people who they suspect may have the virus - maybe do your shopping there
Another agreeing this

This post isnt about this man coughting , its about op needing a pat on the back

He looked shifty, like he was tempted to lie but found it difficult while I fixed my gaze on him. really

This post isnt about this man coughing , its about op needing a pat on the back

^^ Exactly.

It is just a Covid take on one of those "I saw someone punch a pensioner square in the throat and I said stop it you nasty boy, did I do the right thing" threads.

He looked shifty, like he was tempted to lie but found it difficult while I fixed my gaze on him

If I was cornered by some random person in public throwing question after question at me, I’d look shifty as fuck as well from the sheer surprise of it!
Christ if someone walked up to me and simply asked my name, I’d be ‘ummm, eerr it’s...it’s...’

Hopefully the op will get a mild dose of flu which leaves her with an annoying persistent cough, and then by her own judgement won't be able to go to the supermarket for months.

@tonyaster they do believe me - my daughter and I were shouted at for walking our dog by the river because 'she knows you live on the other side of town' ie 5 mins walk away - there is a certain segment of any population who thrive on this sort of thing.

If I was tempted to berate someone in a supermarket I'd be more worried about my own mental health than covid 19.

You should try to shop alone if you can surely? I understand single parents obviously can't.

I saw a couple shopping with their toddler. So completely unnecessary and I saw them get into a car after they'd done their shoppers so it's not like they both had to go to carry the stuff home.

Even more hilarious the toddler was wearing plastic gloves. Why on earth one of the parents couldn't wait in the car with the child whilst the other parent shopped is beyond me.

I’ve been coughing for weeks. Self isolated for 14 days. Guidelines say I can go out. Single parent, next available slot for shopping delivery is in May. What would you suggest I do?

Noone hassles people in supermarkets like this.

To be fair, I twice spoke to people in my tesco just before the lockdown. One was rummaging with his hands through all the loose carrots, trying to find the perfect ones. The other was a woman who was picking up every single loaf of bread to squeeze them. To both I just said "please look with your eyes, not your hands" and then I sang Happy Birthday to my carrots as soon as I got home...

Some amount of shooting the messenger here.

It's a pandemic folks, the virus is potentially fatal. It's spread by coughing among other things. This guy coughed his way around a supermarket without attempting to cover his mouth.

The OP doesn't deserve the vitriol aimed at her. Odd how the guy manages to get away relatively unadmonished while she's vilified for looking after her own, and others, safety.

Some skewed priorities here. I'd rather seem a bit rude than be dead or have my family dead.

Tourretts?

We all know Covid19 is spread through droplets in the air or through droplets on surfaces. Openly coughing is known to project droplets over a 2 metre range.

The man was in the wrong, not the OP. If he now manages to use his elbow or tissues it will be directly thanks to OP.

I currently have a cough after a 14 day lockdown. I don't even cough at the screen during work meetings, because coughing openly is grim & I don't want a mucky screen.

He could have had the cough for years and it may not be linked to Covid-19. However, he may also have asymptomatic Covid -19 and be spreading it with this cough even if it's not a symptom of it.

This is why masks should be compulsory in supermarkets.

He looked shifty, like he was tempted to lie but found it difficult while I fixed my gaze on him. really hmm

This line in particular made me think it’s what the OP wishes she’d said. The overactive imagination of a rather pompous mind.

Yup, he shouldn't have been out.
That's why YOU need to go out as little as possible to places with other people, keep 2m away and wash your hands.
He had symptoms but lots of people in the super market will be infected and spreading it unknowingly

Some amount of shooting the messenger here.
OP isntca messenger. She could start a conversation about coughing on public, which might educate her that not all coughs are covid and many are allergies or long term conditions. She didnt to make up or embellish the conversation so she would get a pat on the back

Some amount of shooting the messenger here.

OP is not the messenger. This is the whole point

Mary1935 said:

"I think you did the right thing op. I’m curious about his partner. I’m making an assumption that he’s one of those who does wtf he likes.
It’s curious the wife didn’t speak up for him to defend him which makes me think he was lying.
There are lots of women living with controlling and abusive men.
He hadn’t actually physically seen the GP - they wouldnt touch him with a barge pole. He would have been told to contact 111.
They would have told him to isolate. If he had isolated he would have said."

@Mary1935 That's exactly the feeling I got, as she didn't speak a word in his defence, I got the impression that she was silently agreeing with me and perhaps didn't want him to go shopping with her anyway.

Like I said before, after reading all the posts I realise I did overstep the mark in what I said, I didn't handle it perfectly, but I still think he was thoughtless in his behaviour and it's not like there are policemen or health officials in every store, to prompt people to follow the guidelines, so a polite word when someone is being thoughtless seems reasonable.

I'm not suggesting that everyone with a cough should stay home forever, but in the current crisis a bit of care about covering their mouths when they cough is important, and if they wear masks that would be even better, IMO.

To those who called me patronising, you've misunderstood me. I try to be polite in my replies and try to learn from criticism.

I started the thread to vent a bit about something that wound me up, and to see what others thought about it. I'm certainly wasn't looking for a medal because I challenged someone's thoughtless behaviour, as I was in two minds about whether I had done the right thing, so thanks to all for your replies, I have gained a different perspective.

"please look with your eyes, not your hands”
OMG that’s so patronising!!!! I ageee it’s gross to touch the bread but the way you phrased that just makes me cringe. Like speaking to a child