Man with persistent cough shopping with partner - just why?!?

[Defenbaker]

I went shopping today, for essential items, to a large supermarket. There was a small queue, with a security guard letting people enter as others left, to ensure social distancing inside. All very calm and not many people inside, so that was good.

However, in the second aisle there was a man coughing. I thought, oh well, it's probably nothing, just an ordinary cough, don't panic. I avoided him anyway, just in case. However, he then kept on coughing, at regular intervals, all around the shop. He never once used a tissue, or even his hand or the crook of his arm to catch the cough, and the cough was just the sort of dry, persistent cough that medics have described as a symptom! Regardless of whether he had the Covid19 virus or not, he was certainly not being careful to keep his germs to himself. I wondered how many people he could be infecting.

Although I tried my best to avoid him, he then appeared quite near me, where I was using the self scan till. This conversation took place:

Me: "It might be a good idea if you wait outside while your partner does the shopping, as you have a cough."

(He looked stunned, as though the idea hadn't occurred to him.)
Him: "Oh, it's just a cough, I don't have a temperature!"

Me: "That's a symptom, you might have it, you don't know."
Him: "I've been to the doctor... I don't have it."

Me: "So, have you had the test then? Did you have a negative result?"
Him: "The doctor said I'm fine... " (He looked shifty, like he was tempted to lie but found it difficult while I fixed my gaze on him.)
Me: "Even if you haven't got it, people are bound to be anxious when you're coughing all over the store. It really would be best if you wait outside."
Him: "Mmm... maybe... "

All the time his partner said nothing. I got the impression she was a bit embarassed to be with him, as she knew how others would view his germ ridden presence.

He then sloped off. AIBU to think that he had no reason to accompany another (able bodied) adult around the shop, and should have known better than to behave so thoughtlessly during this health crisis?

I am on day 18 of a dry cough. I isolated for the required time, and have only been out to buy necessary food since then. My cough is still there and has changed in nature (sounding deeper), so the other day I called the surgery to ask when I should get concerned.

A doctor called me back, was very thorough, and prescribed antibiotics. I was told that it was okay to continue going out when necessary and walking away from other people.

But I'm dreading needing to go to the shop. Because my cough sounds grim. And I can't always suppress it. But if I was challeneged I'd say exactly the same as the man in the OP. And doubtless I'd look flustered too, because if someone glared at me as the OP said she did, I'd feel awkward and embarrassed.

I love the way that looking awkward means guilty as hell in MN world.

@DullPortraits

Exactly what I would have done. Move away and get security.

He was being careless about his hygiene and under the circumstances it made me feel very anxious

That’s not why you challenged him though, is it. You don’t think he should be in the shop. You think he should stand outside.

If you’d said “excuse me, could you cover your mouth when you cough please” that would be fair enough. That’s true at any time. To launch at him with a fixed gaze (so he couldn’t lie) as if you are some kind of FBI interrogator, that’s not on. I’d have told you to fuck off if you’d done this to me or anyone I was with.

@justmysize

Doesn't make a big hero drama post for social media though i guess does it that way 🤷‍♀️ how would you feel good about yourself 😂😂

It's so simple: whether you're coughing from emphysema/hayfever/reflux/chest infection you've had since January, cover your mouth. Don't be surprised when somebody brings you up on not doing so. Sure the OP could have had a little more tact and just been direct rather than questioning him.

Coughing into open (especially stale!) air means the potentially virus-ridden droplets hang around for the next person to breathe them in/get covered and then touch their face.

Don't forget that someone was arrested and then imprisoned for coughing deliberately at a police officer. Everyone is tense. Cover your mouth.

@swishthecat
*I must have missed the particular Government directive that says you must stay at home if you do anything that “spreads droplets”

Did you also miss the Government directive that says “STAY AT HOME” full stop.

Just cover mouths when coughing! Fgs the whole point is it's in the op he was not even trying to cover his mouth with a hanky or his arm.

But why would you if it’s a congenital cough? If you have had a non infectious cough for 15, 20, 25,75 years, why suddenly turn it into something it’s not?

Because people are tense! Not to mention you could have a chronic cough and the virus!

Hi Defenbaker,

You are not being unreasonable! I think anyone would flinch if someone was coughing all over them right now and it's obvious he didnt need to go with his partner to the supermarket.Its everyones business to protect themselves and families right now , well done for speaking up.

Did you also miss the Government directive that says “STAY AT HOME” full stop.

Oh my god, yes! I have been going out to food shop and to exercise!

I get your concern OP, but I cough when hayfever season starts, my partner coughs too as he has asthma and emphysema.
If we can't go out for fear of People thinking we should be at home for the duration, my kids will starve. We can't get a slot for home shopping as the GP forgot to put my DP and DS on the vulnerable list despite them both being in the category who probably should, DS definitely should anyway.
This whole Nancy Drew alike grassing up of people is going to cause some serious kick offs eventually, this is exactly why I believe the Police asking people to rat on others is dangerous as hell.

Lol at people being outraged that a person takes someone to task over an unchecked cough he didn't cover his mouth for, that exactly fits the description of one of the symptoms of a potentially lethal virus, which at the very least would cause considerable anxiety for those who come in contact with him.

Yep, she's the bad guy and he's just an innocent victim of the SS.

Do people not realize how dangerous this situation is?

If he covered his mouth he could have avoided this, she's not in the wrong here, he is.

To be fair tho, I'm recovered (I think I had it but no test) and the guidelines say you can still go out once well even with the cough. I have obv tried to suppress it in the shops as I do worry what people think but you're allowed to go out with the cough after 7 days.

'But why would you if it’s a congenital cough? If you have had a non infectious cough for 15, 20, 25,75 years, why suddenly turn it into something it’s not?'

Well, a congenital cough still expels secretions into the environment, so if you hadn't before please start good hygiene practise now. Also, none of us are psychic so a congenital cough could of course become an infectious cough. I can't believe weeks into this public health emergency we're having these discussions tbh.

If i see someone in the supermarket coughing without covering I will ask them to. I care too much about my relatives to worry about hurt feelings.

@peterlon1 I'm not sure what humans rights you are referring too having been infringed? What I was actually pointing out is that at ANY time it is disgusting to cough and sneeze anywhere without trying to contain it in a handkerchief or sleeve, that is basic manners taught at primary school " coughs and sneezes spread diseases catch your germs in a handkerchief". In these times where we could all be carriers of Covid19 it is particularly important that we do not unnecessarily spread any germs, benign or contagious, I think the NHS is under enough strain just now without having to cope with other illnesses spread by people without basic manners and respect for others.

But why would you if it’s a congenital cough? If you have had a non infectious cough for 15, 20, 25,75 years, why suddenly turn it into something it’s not?
To be fair, it is possible to have had a cough for 75 years AND have caught Corona on Tuesday and not be aware of it.
It's not a good idea for any of us to be coughing without covering our mouths right now.

Reasonable to worry, less reasonable to question.
My dad gets a cough every year around March to April. Obviously he was a bit more worried this year but it's cleared up now. I understand you being worried but someone coughing doesn't necessarily mean anything.
Unsure why they both needed to do the shopping though (but I never understand that!)

so even congenital cough should be covered with your hand or something else right now be aware of your surroundings

Everyone is nervous right now and the combination of events (both of them shopping together, obviously able-bodied, both coughing, in the shop casually for a few items, standing too close

Obviously able bodied eh?? So invisible disabilities don’t exist in pandemic times then? Jesus Christ

And then everyone in the store clapped.

But why would you if it’s a congenital cough? If you have had a non infectious cough for 15, 20, 25,75 years, why suddenly turn it into something it’s not
I can’t believe someone is asking this 🙄 vile woman. Doesn’t matter what’s causing a cough, you cover your mouth. It’s polite, it stops spread of germs even if the cough isn’t caused by something contagious

I'm with the OP. There's no reason for him to be adding to everyone's stress levels by coughing his way around the supermarket and not even attempting to shield his face. It's selfish fuckwittery.
I'm not normally one for telling other people how to behave (unless asked on aibu) but when other people's behaviour could kill people, I think there's a right to intervene and tell strangers not to behave like twats

@Oysterbabe indeed they all did a standing ovation at the brave OP and her bullying hectoring attitude.

I mean anyone who actually was bothered by someone coughing, would just leave the shop. But that's far too sensible.

Can we stop with the virtual signalling threads.
OP we know you are are a really wonderful person for telling this poor man off, do you really need the world to tell you this by posting it on MN