Man with persistent cough shopping with partner - just why?!?

[Defenbaker]

I went shopping today, for essential items, to a large supermarket. There was a small queue, with a security guard letting people enter as others left, to ensure social distancing inside. All very calm and not many people inside, so that was good.

However, in the second aisle there was a man coughing. I thought, oh well, it's probably nothing, just an ordinary cough, don't panic. I avoided him anyway, just in case. However, he then kept on coughing, at regular intervals, all around the shop. He never once used a tissue, or even his hand or the crook of his arm to catch the cough, and the cough was just the sort of dry, persistent cough that medics have described as a symptom! Regardless of whether he had the Covid19 virus or not, he was certainly not being careful to keep his germs to himself. I wondered how many people he could be infecting.

Although I tried my best to avoid him, he then appeared quite near me, where I was using the self scan till. This conversation took place:

Me: "It might be a good idea if you wait outside while your partner does the shopping, as you have a cough."

(He looked stunned, as though the idea hadn't occurred to him.)
Him: "Oh, it's just a cough, I don't have a temperature!"

Me: "That's a symptom, you might have it, you don't know."
Him: "I've been to the doctor... I don't have it."

Me: "So, have you had the test then? Did you have a negative result?"
Him: "The doctor said I'm fine... " (He looked shifty, like he was tempted to lie but found it difficult while I fixed my gaze on him.)
Me: "Even if you haven't got it, people are bound to be anxious when you're coughing all over the store. It really would be best if you wait outside."
Him: "Mmm... maybe... "

All the time his partner said nothing. I got the impression she was a bit embarassed to be with him, as she knew how others would view his germ ridden presence.

He then sloped off. AIBU to think that he had no reason to accompany another (able bodied) adult around the shop, and should have known better than to behave so thoughtlessly during this health crisis?

There are no excuses in this current climate to be sloping around a store coughing with your mouth uncovered.

Rubbish. One of mine has had a chronic cough - and it’s an absolute ripper, for the past 17 years. Not infectious. Nothings changed. No need to hide away to make people with health anxiety feel better about themselves.

I actually think the main issue and what people should be focusing on is - why are they shopping in a couple?

Mind you from experience of the (pre pandemic) "Why do families shop in supermarkets together rather than one parent staying at home?" It's outrageous to suggest that someone leave their Nigel at home or send him alone, he's far too incapable of reading a shopping list, or the woman likes company or shopping is a fun family activity - so you never can guess 🤷‍♀️

Also I don't care how long you've had a cough for cover your fucking mouth every time you grot bag

'Rubbish. One of mine has had a chronic cough - and it’s an absolute ripper, for the past 17 years. Not infectious. Nothings changed. No need to hide away to make people with health anxiety feel better about themselves.'

Just cover mouths when coughing! Fgs the whole point is it's in the op he was not even trying to cover his mouth with a hanky or his arm.

I think the point being made here is coughing with the mouth uncovered.

FIL had heart tablets the side effect was a persistant dry cough - he's since been moved off them but it was a know and common side affect.

Coughs can be caused by allergies.

While I agree he should have been covering his mouth and been a bit more aware - I wonder if he's so used to it it just didn't register that it might be concerning to others.

No it will not take 2 years it will be same a MERS and SARS they are still about

‘2004, there have not been any known cases of SARS reported anywhere in the world.’

www.cdc.gov/sars/

this is what annoys me so about all the distancing, didn't do it with MERS or with SARS and they cause just a many people to fall seriously ill due to underlying health issues as this one.

Neither MERS nor SARS came close to COVID-19 in infectious spread. MERS Infection results in more severe disease than COVID-19.

‘About 3 or 4 out of every 10 patients reported with MERS have died.’

www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/mers/about/index.html

Main difference is that this one got out further than last 2. the all came from same place and caused by same issues.

MERS was not from China.

‘Health officials first reported the disease in Saudi Arabia in September 2012. Through retrospective (backward-looking) investigations, they later identified that the first known cases of MERS occurred in Jordan in April 2012.’

www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/mers/about/index.html

Spread of outright disinformation helps nobody.

I do agree with mouth covering while coughing and or sneezing. But as I don't believe most of the OP, I'm not inclined to believe that he just wandered around coughing randomly.

Must admit by end of getting what we needed we were both rolling about laughing. They have no chance of infecting anyone with their congenital defect. Most people are just extremely ignorant.

Glad you find it humorous that people are currently scared of the real possibility of catching a highly infection and sometimes deadly virus. Of course he shouldn't stay in, but to laugh about it is horrible. You know he doesn't have it, but many of those people, some who are likely vulnerable and had to go out for essentials are probably still worried about it. Horrible attitude. And no, I don't think he should stay in, but if in the current climate people can't understand why people are a bit nervous when people cough around them, then perhaps watch the news.

I have smokers cough.
I feel very self conscious standing in a shop, needing to cough and just trying to hold it in, for fear of what people might think or say.

Must admit I've been smoking more while on lock down as my DS now 3.5 has bags of energy and DD 8 months is teething and extremely needy at the moment. DH is self employed and working long hours. (essential service worker). I'm finding it really hard to cope.

If someone told me to go home while shopping for essential food that my children need (not being vulnerable so no delivery slots) I'd have had a few choice words for them.

I understand why it's unnerving when people are coughing persistently but it really is best to just avoid them and mind your own business. You don't know their circumstances.

I don't think you were being unreasonable to ask him. This is your health that is at risk, along with your loved ones and countless other vulnerable folk out there. I think we all need to be proactive in holding people to account, it may make people think twice.

I know it isn't the same but when this all started, I simply forgot to maintain the 2m apart thing in the queue in dealz, as queueing closely together is something that we are so used to doing. A lady politely reminded me, I apologised, stepped back and never did it again. I didn't mind at all, it was an innocent oversight on my part and I'm glad she called me out on it.

And as others are saying, if he did have lung cancer, which I doubt, then 1 he shouldn't have been out and 2 it clearly wasn't a case of he had no other option to be out and about, as he had a partner with him. And regardless of the cause of the cough, I think we all need to be mindful of other peoples worries and anxieties and not go out and about with a raging cough knowing the anxiety that it will cause.

YABU. Sounds like my aunt and late uncle a couple of years back.
My aunt is 50 and has breast cancer several times, as well as overarian cancer.
My uncle died of lung cancer last year. They were always together because they weren’t quite up to the big shop alone. You know with One being terminal and one undergoing radiotherapy 🤦‍♀️
You’ve got no idea why people are out in groups. They’d probably like to be able to and aren’t flouting on purpose- wind your neck in

I’m coughing atm due to hayfever. Always do at this time of year. I need to go to the supermarket, pharmacy etc, but I’m aware people might be judging me.

'feel very self conscious standing in a shop, needing to cough and just trying to hold it in, for fear of what people might think or say.'

Just have a Kleenex in your hand and I doubt anyone would say a word.

It's getting like cancel the cheque. It isn't just he was coughing, he wasn't attemping to cover his mouth yet some people are just too polite it seems to dare comment .

Horrible, horrible nosy person. How dare you interrogate someone and claim they are shifty and lying. This has brought out so much good in people, but then there are people like you. Nightmare.

What a busybody. Just observe distancing where you can.

This is really bringing out the worst in some people.

I can usually smell smoke on people's clothing across the room (bloodhound type sense of smell, me).
Loss of sense of smell is also a symptom...

There is currently no testing until you’re in hospital. None of us can know if we have it, so just behave as though you might. Don’t walk around coughing all over the place.

They shouldn’t be shopping in two’s, nit necessary and yes it could cause stress to others.

Maybe they have a perfectly good reason to be shopping as a pair and since i keep hearing that the new-found love in the UK of Stasi like behaviour and controllers at the doors of supermarkets, I'm quite sure that if they managed to infiltrate the emporium of their choice as a couple they're perfectly well entitled to do so.

Coughing without covering the mouth is concerning and nobody is BU to be worried about that. But what about a "cover your mouth when you cough" and then mind your own business?

Standing in a supermarket demanding answers to intrusive questions is Very Unreasonable. So I'm not actually voting on this one.

But i really am looking forward to all these people stepping up and challenging sexist behaviour/comments when we're all allowed to go out again. That's a positive of this, right?

YABU. It's none of your business. If you are concerned about your proximity to someone, you have the ability to move further away from them. If someone seems ill to me, I'm not going to interrogate them, I will try to get away from them.

I can't help but imagine you are also the sort of person who would confront someone with a hidden disability if they were using blue badge parking.

Why did you even start this thread OP? As judging by your long winded and patronising monologues in response to other posters you clearly don’t think you were unreasonable in the slightest..

Here’s a tip though, mind your own fucking business in future! You were very lucky that this man responded to your busy bodying politely, others might not have been so nice.

Once people have had covid19 and are no longer infectious the cough can still persist for months

"I actually think the main issue and what people should be focusing on is - why are they shopping in a couple?"
One would be a carer. Most supermarkets have people at the door now checking, so it's safe to assume one is a carer if you see two together.

I am calling #didnthappen on this OP -anyone who was genuinely concerned would not have hung around for a conversation with this person. Bring his attention to security and get out of the way asap

I have acid reflux which unmedicated causes a persistent cough, albeit at night. It it's not new and he knows the reason for it, there's no reason for him to self isolate.