Man with persistent cough shopping with partner - just why?!?

[Defenbaker]

I went shopping today, for essential items, to a large supermarket. There was a small queue, with a security guard letting people enter as others left, to ensure social distancing inside. All very calm and not many people inside, so that was good.

However, in the second aisle there was a man coughing. I thought, oh well, it's probably nothing, just an ordinary cough, don't panic. I avoided him anyway, just in case. However, he then kept on coughing, at regular intervals, all around the shop. He never once used a tissue, or even his hand or the crook of his arm to catch the cough, and the cough was just the sort of dry, persistent cough that medics have described as a symptom! Regardless of whether he had the Covid19 virus or not, he was certainly not being careful to keep his germs to himself. I wondered how many people he could be infecting.

Although I tried my best to avoid him, he then appeared quite near me, where I was using the self scan till. This conversation took place:

Me: "It might be a good idea if you wait outside while your partner does the shopping, as you have a cough."

(He looked stunned, as though the idea hadn't occurred to him.)
Him: "Oh, it's just a cough, I don't have a temperature!"

Me: "That's a symptom, you might have it, you don't know."
Him: "I've been to the doctor... I don't have it."

Me: "So, have you had the test then? Did you have a negative result?"
Him: "The doctor said I'm fine... " (He looked shifty, like he was tempted to lie but found it difficult while I fixed my gaze on him.)
Me: "Even if you haven't got it, people are bound to be anxious when you're coughing all over the store. It really would be best if you wait outside."
Him: "Mmm... maybe... "

All the time his partner said nothing. I got the impression she was a bit embarassed to be with him, as she knew how others would view his germ ridden presence.

He then sloped off. AIBU to think that he had no reason to accompany another (able bodied) adult around the shop, and should have known better than to behave so thoughtlessly during this health crisis?

@Brefugee I doubt it cos when it come you things like racism they is all nasty evil fuckers

They shouldn’t be shopping in two’s, nit necessary and yes it could cause stress to others. Very inconsiderate you did right speaking up. He may have had it, our doctors aren’t seeing patients and if you have a cough they would direct you to 111 so I suspect he was lying about having seen his doctor.

Here Here @Bananabixfloof

What don’t people understand? If he had lung cancer or smokers cough or whatever then he could still be a carrier of COVID-19 and therefore his cough droplets would be infectious. Not everyone has the same symptoms and not everyone gets symptoms, just because you’re ur cough isn’t a COVID-19 cough doesn’t mean you can’t infect other people.

Anything that makes you distribute your droplets to everyone means you stay at home. This is why everyone will keep spreading it!

Honestly, this takes the for stupidity.

So anyone who coughs/sneezes must stay ay home forever, even if the cause of the sneezing/coughing is known or they are a person who tends to cough/sneeze for no particular reason.

I must have missed the particular Government directive that says you must stay at home if you do anything that "spreads droplets", regardless of whether you have COVID-19 symptopms.

You were not unreasonable to question him considering his poor approach to the containment of his germs. Understandable everyone is on high alert at the present time and if he has a benign cough he should been responsible and used a handkerchief or his sleeve. That's normal social protocol and especially during a world pandemic. It's filthy to cough and sneeze all over the place in public. I would have said something too.

symptoms

Ffs, get a grip. One if my kids (older teen now) has a cough due to congenital defect. They have had this since birth. Bad at the best of times with numpties in shops sticking their oat in, but at the moment it’s over the top. Took them the other day to get essentials and you should have seen people’s reactions. Must admit by end of getting what we needed we were both rolling about laughing. They have no chance of infecting anyone with their congenital defect. Most people are just extremely ignorant.

He could have a lung condition, he could be a heavy smoker, he could have a cold.

We have to just trust people and their decisions, sadly some people will make the wrong choices, this is how the virus spreads, we just have to do what we can to protect ourselves (keep our distance from people, keep washing hands).

You do sound very busy body ish op. Asking someone to move back so they're observing the 2m is fine, and very understandable. It's also very different to telling someone repeatedly how they should behave (waiting outside) and continuing to keep on. I'm sure the drs thing was a lie. Probably because you made him feel backed into a corner.

There are many reasons people cough. Im a lodger in family home and landlord coughs regular - always has done. Landlords son has allergies. Landlady always clearing her throat. All 3 of them cough occasionally. None of them has corona

It's interesting that most posters on here are being very defensive and telling the OP that she is being unreasonable, yet the voting has shown that she isn't.

I'm not a confrontational person so I wouldn't have challenged him, but would I have judged him? You bet I would.

We are in the middle of a frightening pandemic, so it is only natural that people are going to be wary of someone who has a cough and not trying to contain it (which is bad manners anyway).

I self isolated for 14 days as I had a few symptoms fever, aches, headache, cough unfortunately I've still got the cough after isolation ended a week ago and I've had to go out for essentials.
People are obviously going to be on edge though so he could have at least practised good hygiene

Mumsnet is like a top trumps of selfishness sometimes.

Man with cough goes shopping for food and considered to be selfish.

People demand not to feel uncomfortable when shopping due his coughing.

However because he has a wife who could shop for him, the uncomfortable feelers get to win in their lack of empathy for others.

Since being pregnant my throat goes dry quite easily so I cough a bit.....

People are selfish. My neighbour had an unidentified respiratory infection. I saw her coming home with groceries and coughing her guts up. Two days after that she was taken away in an ambulance because she couldn’t breathe. No common sense.

And this brilliant for complete lack of awareness and compassion. All heart....

A smoker's cough sounds quite different to the Covid-19 cough.

I'm not a confrontational person so I wouldn't have challenged him
but would I have judged him? You bet I would
You can judge away, crack on, do your worst. But in your own head eh.
We cannot control other people's thoughts, and I wouldn't wish to, but we damn well can control what we say. And harassing people for coughing is not on.
If OP was really so bothered OP should have left the shop.

WE do not police other people.

Exactly.

had enough of this selfish paranoid law breaking human rights ignoring shit I really wished I smoked and/or drank right now could do with a stiff drink and a cigar

I'm not sure why couples are still shopping together? We needed our weekly shop on Wednesday and DH and I decided who was going to go and do it. I appreciate that children still need to go into shops with parents who can't leave them home alone but I don't understand why couples still need to shop together?

Are you not quantity restricted? We are now quantity restricted. So bizarrely there is a limit per person not per family. So if you work on the only person should go shopping rule, all it means is some families have to them go out out a lot more than others.

So a single person household can have the one person go out once a week and probably get enough for themselves the week. With the rationing, a family of 6 would need to have one person go out six times a week to achieve getting enough for the family for a week. With this in mind we go out together as a family once a week and every person gets the maximum ration amount. Common sense surely?

'You were not unreasonable to question him considering his poor approach to the containment of his germs. Understandable everyone is on high alert at the present time and if he has a benign cough he should been responsible and used a handkerchief or his sleeve.'

Yes, nevermind using sleeves or hankies with a persistent cough according to some on here. We're all terrified about elderly parents and vulnerable relatives yet we must be polite!!!

Do we really need more Government advice to spell it out? use sleeves or hankies to cough into if you must go shopping in pairs. I wonder what some do if anyone ignores the 2m advice, just smile weakly because they daren't speak up?

The main issue is his cough but the fact he's not bothering to cover his mouth with a tissue or the crook of his elbow when he does cough.

Completely appreciate people cough for all manner of reasons but in these troubled times when people are scared it's surely just sensible to always cover your mouth (and that is what the guidelines say we should do) if you cough or sneeze. Actually, you should do it anyway but more so in the current climate.

I can completely understand why you had a word with him OP but I would probably have focused more on suggesting he cover his mouth than on the underlying cause of his cough.

@Ginfordinner oh god name say it all, you need to go on that game show where they have special talents! My Talent is being able to distinguish between different types of cough. you heard a lot of Covid 19 coughs then?

HoppingPavlova so the couple would have a trolley each, and go round the store separately.

When I was in Sainsbury's last week I saw a lot of people on their phones, presumably talking to their partner/other family members to make sure they were getting the right things. I saw people taking pictures of food items and sending them to another decision maker.

I assume that these people on their own usually shopped with the person at the other end of the phone, and were being sensible.