Children playing in garden

[SMarie123]

My neighbours have an electrical cable running along the wall between our two houses. I have a 4 year old and a 2 year year old, we are in Ireland so we have been home for 3 weeks already.

My husband is a front of line healthcare worker and is doing 13 hour days every day (including long days from home at weekends) I am supposed to be working but really I am minding kids... thank god for nice bosses. anyway yesterday I was on conference calls and I put them in the garden. There was no drama specifically, but I could tell I was causing the neighbours annoyance (they are retired and like to spend time in the garden. The man is always doing gardening and they watch him as they are home in the day just now).

Anyway the lady complained that the 4 year old pulled the wire (didn't break it or anything). She said she was concerned for his safety.., in the grand scheme of things it is just such a petty point but she went on and on.... Now I feel like I can't put them in the garden which is super annoying. He hasn't gone near the wire again but it was such a dramatic reaction.

I am torn between bringing round a card to apologise and just being indignant. Longer term I don't think it pays to fall out with your neighbours.

@SMarie123 No need to fall out. Just ask them to move the wire that is in reach of your small children onto their property where said children cannot reach it. Not an unreasonable request.

I think the kids need to be supervised at that age. 2 and 4 are so little! You need to watch them especially because there’s a wire there!
You need to tell them not to look into the other garden as well. It’s basic parenting and common decency to your neighbours.

I would say absolutely nothing, but put a fence panel in front of the wall so that the wire is completely out of reach of your children. Do that as soon as possible. Even some of that willow fencing will do for now.

I can see her concern, but the neighbour has a duty of care. It should be safely secured, not left where anyone could pull it or trip over on it. If the area is shared, the owness is on them to be sorting it out.

The wire sounds illegal. You do need to keep an eye of such young children, but equally your neighbours need to be more understanding in these difficult times.

Your children need to play out and let off steam. If they can't enjoy watching them do that - tough. Their needs come first.
Your neighbours could also be more helpful. Why didn't she gently tell him that he shouldn't touch the wire as it could hurt him.
Definitely, no card.

I don't know who owns the wall. The electric cable is theirs, they have a decking area and shed with electric. They often have parties in the summer and have outdoor speakers and lighting. They have done a lovely job of their garden. I would say it is 25 meters. Ours was the same until we extended. So I know it is new to them having us so close and I am sure they really miss the trees we had.

How high is this wall that a 2 year old can look over it?? If they want privacy they can put up a higher trellis over it. Cables are very very dangerous to children and everyone, unlatch it from the fence and push it over to their side, it is illegal anywhere! What on earth is it for?? Your garden sounds fine from where you are observing them. Gd time to teach the kids to look after each other and play nicely 😊

Let’s be honest here. They are probably mentioning the wire to draw your attention to the fact they are irritating them. A 2 and 4 year old will of course be interested in next door. The novelty will wear off when they ignore them.

Of course it fine for children to play in small space unattended for short amount of time. You can’t watch your children all the time. Ignore mumsnet judgement.

Go around and explain your situation and explain how it’s making you feel....maybe then they will stop and think and secure the wire ( which they should do anyway)

Good luck

Their wire is illegal - not just for your kids - it would be illegal if it was fully on their side.

Are you sure?

I wouldn’t leave a 2 and 4 year old unsupervised in any area, not in the house or the garden.

What miserable neighbours. Sounds like they're annoyed at you for building the extension. It sounds like you have enough on your plate at the moment. I would as a previous reply says put some willow up and block the wire and mr and mrs mean out.
I'm petty so I would have said to my kids keep away from mr and mrs miserable.
Don't send a card round they know what a hard time everyone is having. Big hugs to you.

The access on your side to an unsafe wire needs to be sorted, sorry am not clear whether this is you or them but either way take the lead and make sure it happens.
Can’t believe people are saying your children can’t play in the garden by themselves. Of course they can. Provided you can see them and there are no hazards in the garden, you should let them play and be children unapologetically.

I personally don’t think you have done anything wrong u already explain that u was on a conference plus it’s your private back garden not the front where they could wonder off? it’s not like u threw them out side and locked the door or even left them out for ages! sometimes (especially right now) there are thing that are unavoidable and need to be done! You can’t split urself In two if your on your own or in my case I’m a single parent so I would of done the same kept a watch throu kitchen window maybe but u needed the privacy and obviously the noise too was a distraction so what else was u meant to do? If u wasn’t working and on benefits I’m sure people would have more to say about that so don’t worry ur self xx

Children can’t look at the neighbours? How bizarre and to say you would be pissed off at a child looking at you is even more bizarre.
The wire is illegal and I would ask them to resolve it.
Your children are allowed in their own garden to play safely

I'm in Ireland also (if it matters) and I think you are being way too nice to this neighbour. The current circumstances are totally unprecedented and people are trying to get by as much as they can . It's great we had a nice spell of dry weather as the kids got to play outside. My older two have been having a great time playing outside. The next time she says anything be firm but polite that they need to sort out the wire. When all this is over I would definitely recommend getting something to heighten the fence. It will be well worth it

Tbh this wire doesn’t sound good if the kids can reach it so in all honestly and from what I can tell it’s ur neighbours fault letting a live wire hang. ???

You have just as much right to enjoy your garden as your neighbour's. If they dont like hearing children play then sorry they shouldn't live near other people. Additionally its their responsibility to make sure their electrics are safe and shouldn't be causing you problems. Live and let live....

My 2 and 3 year old are spending most of the day out in the garden on their own just now - I can hear them, and I pop my head out regularly. I've never had any issues with them playing outside alone, even from when they were 1 and 2... And we've moved in that time so we're talking 2 different back gardens...

The electricity thing though would concern me though - is there any way it can be attached further up so he can't reach it?

So OP I completely feel for you. I don’t know about the other folks on here being judgemental holier-than-thou’ers but I totally feel for you trying to juggle two kids and a job while your wonderful husband is out there saving lives.
Problem is mumsnet is full of sanctimonious stay at home wealthy intelligent types who clearly have nothing better to do than nitpick. Your next door neighbours are absolutely in the wrong for having THEIR cable on the boundary wall. If they want al the electricity it needs to be on their side. Additionally some of the more pragmatic posters here have suggested putting up a trellis/ additional fancy fence bit. That will be your best bet. And given that your neighbours are noisy I’d have nursery rhymes going at top volume. But then again I’m a cantankerous sort 😁 good luck lovely and hope you get resolution. x

I think we 're going to see escalating neighbour problems! We're locked down with them as well. I've come to live with my vulnerable Mum and we have a neighbour who spends all day and every day chewing up concrete with a pneumatic drill! Maddening! And my daughter living with a friend in a flat in London has just got a long and very nasty letter from a neighbour accusing them of mistreating their cat. I have to add that my daughter's life literally revolves around her cat.

It's the neighbourss responsibility to ensure nothing in their garden can injure anyone else. They are at fault not playful children.

I told her we are all just going to have to rise above petty arguments and do some meditation...

I allow my 2 (nearly 3) year old and 3 (nearly 4 year old) to play alone in the garden. We have a very small flat garden fenced all the way around with a 6ft fence. There is a gate to the side for access but again its 6ft and padlocked for the childrens safety... I don't see a problem with them running around on the grass on their own for 10 minutes? I can hear them, and they know to come get me if they've fallen and hurt themselves. The door to our garden is in the kitchen and I'm usually in there pottering around tidying up while they are roaming the garden, it's the only way I can get anything done. I can hear them and have been doing this a year they are perfectly fine... yes you need to supervise children so young, but not if all the got is grass and a scooter and a little play house they can't kill themselves. It's not like I'd leave them out there alone with a paddling pool or a bouncy castle. Or anything that they could actually do proper damage to themselves from. Some parents are just majorly over the top its good for children to have some independence 🙄

I would firstly talk to the neighbours about the wire. It shouldn't be there if it's dangerous. I think all children looks over fences/walls when theres any noise. They're curious but it's also how they learn. Tell them not to as the neighbours dont like it and they will soon listen. I dont see the problem of your kids playing out the garden and you listening out and keeping an eye out. For all the parents that wont leave them for a second in the garden unattended would you leave them in another room in the house unattended? Same thing isn't it.

@Devlesko did you know that people are having to work from home and no child care is available, it's due to corona virus!

How can OP work around her husbands shifts on a conference call? Do you understand what a conference call is, it involves others, so maybe they don't want to work around OPs 13 hour shifts? Just a thought?

OP, tell your neighbour to move the wire by the end of the week, it's ridiculous and shouldn't be there. As for them not liking a four year old watching them cut the grass, given the current circumstances I'd try and (from a distance) entertain the child for you whilst you tried to work! But some people are just miserable selfish people who don't try to help anyone.