Children playing in garden

[SMarie123]

My neighbours have an electrical cable running along the wall between our two houses. I have a 4 year old and a 2 year year old, we are in Ireland so we have been home for 3 weeks already.

My husband is a front of line healthcare worker and is doing 13 hour days every day (including long days from home at weekends) I am supposed to be working but really I am minding kids... thank god for nice bosses. anyway yesterday I was on conference calls and I put them in the garden. There was no drama specifically, but I could tell I was causing the neighbours annoyance (they are retired and like to spend time in the garden. The man is always doing gardening and they watch him as they are home in the day just now).

Anyway the lady complained that the 4 year old pulled the wire (didn't break it or anything). She said she was concerned for his safety.., in the grand scheme of things it is just such a petty point but she went on and on.... Now I feel like I can't put them in the garden which is super annoying. He hasn't gone near the wire again but it was such a dramatic reaction.

I am torn between bringing round a card to apologise and just being indignant. Longer term I don't think it pays to fall out with your neighbours.

I wasn't allowed in our garden at the age of two unsupervised nor was my Sister . I was 5 but Mum or Dad were outside with us, that's the thing about Parenting. They had to wait to do what they wanted to do as long as we were weren't on our own and yes Accidents DO happen in the garden.

Hi there just a suggestion during the time you need to be at home with your kids, under the current circumstances .To suggest time zones to your neighbour when you are both free in the garden say they have the morning undisturbed and you the afternoon. its hard I think for people with the extra intensity of having to be at home.

.In the down stairs flat where I live he had the tv loud all day into the evening so I didn't ask him to turn it down altogether just if he could in the evening because my head was throbbing after being with my child all day and he didn't take it personally and he has surprisingly made the tv quiet all day.I think its better to make peace and a win win for both of you.And I have found getting out for daily exercise has really done wonders for my child and myself staying at home 24 7 can be intense.and I think the things that wouldn't normally bother us bother us more I hope a happy solution is found take care

As much as I do agree that leaving kids in the garden unsupervised isn't a good idea I also know what you mean by a small terrace garden as I also have one (as well as a larger one) if it's like mine I can see my daughter if she is out there and I'm in doors no matter where she goes.
It is a huge shame your neighbours are being like that especially as in their day kids playing outside and babies in prams were often left alone to gawp at neighbours and I know some places that still happens today.
They can't expect you to have your kids locked up in doors all day how about seeing if they would be open to having a schedule in place of they don't like your kids watching them? The shame is kids learn by watching adults and thru could learn alot from watching the neighbours gardening as I'm sure they could bring some joy to the older neighbours.
Good luck oh and no I wouldn't send a card round as then you are accepting blame and your not the one to blame here x

Our neighbours got upset about our kids being in the garden and possibly looking over the fence while they are on the trampoline, saying that they felt they couldn't go in the garden because of it. As my kids are not the most sporty and rarely spent any time in the garden last year we decided to increase the height of the fence so it is less of an issue. Not had a complaint since. Glad we didn't get rid of the trampoline now though, we thought about it last year, now they are actually using it a bit more.

It doesn’t matter who caused the hazard and it doesn’t hurt less just because it’s the neighbours. So whilst the hazard is there, the kids shouldn’t be out alone. That’s just common sense.

Exactly!

I wouldn't leave a 2 yr old in a garden without playing very close attention. My sisters son at age 2 once got the fruit off a potato plant in his mouth, they are poisonous and it was lucky she was there to get it straight out of his mouth before he swallowed it. Now at age 3.5, I feel ok watching my son from the kitchen door, just.

@petelacey that’s not correct. They have absolutely no legal obligation at all to ensure their garden is safe to children trespassing.

I wouldn’t let my two year old play unattended in the garden, even four would be pushing it. I’ve let mine play out alone in the back garden since they were maybe 5+ but that’s equally because I knew there were no hazards.

OP I think you’re getting some unnecessary stick on here, it sounds to me like you are supervising your children and you’re doing your best at a difficult time.

I hear you when you say you don’t want to fall out with your neighbours but in this instance they have placed a dangerous cable within reach of your children.

As you say it is not possible to win them over then I think you need to be very clear and firm with them that they either move the cable into their garden (preferable) or make the existing cable safe urgently.

In addition to this you also need a fence, shed or plants on your side of their fence. Round here (England) it’s difficult but you can get some things like fence panels and sheds delivered at the moment. I don’t know if you have Wickes in Ireland but here it’s open for delivery and collections, just as an example.

You’re doing your best in unprecedented times. Stay safe and well.

I also think some comments are harsh, people giving it the “oh I wouldn’t let my kids do that” I’m betting they aren’t trying to look after two pre schoolers single handedly whilst working at the same time.

Op, I’d also ask the neighbour to move the wire to her property for the duration of this lock down, explain that you’re working from home, the kids need to be able to play in the garden and it’s a safety hazard.

And that wire looks like someone’s done a cheap diy job. Our external cables are also much thicker. Looks like it is just an extension they’ve shoved out there.

As long as you can see them what is the problem? No you should not write a card it’s your garden your children have a right to play in it regardless of neighbours. People on here are so rude and unhelpful. There are hazards all around a house including electrical wires why because they are in the garden does it make a difference? As long as the cover is still in tact and he knows not to touch it I would carry on as normal your neighbours must realise that children need to go outside at this time and it won’t last forever x

Tell ur neighbours to get rid of the wire and mind there own business.

People on here are so rude and unhelpful
Because some parents are selfish and irresponsible and consider the garden as a free zone for kids to do what they want.

If parents made a bit efforts to ensure their kids didn't disturb others, neighbours would be less likely to react.

The thing that really gets me is if made a racquet at 7am when it's normal time for me that woke up the kids, I get the parents would be outraged. I wouldn't go and do DIY, cutting the grass at that time even though it would be a good for me to do do because I'm considerate, but when it comes to kids, all rules about respect go out of the window.

I’d/ get them to sort out the cable for everyone’s safety.
Your kids need to be in the garden getting some fresh air and using up some energy. The neighbours are just going to have to deal with the noise for now. It’s hardly a sacrifice is it, when key workers are risking their lives??!

They have absolutely no legal obligation at all to ensure their garden is safe to children trespassing

The children are not trespassing. The wire is on the top of the party wall- the DC are not reaching over into the neighbours garden.

It should really be an armoured cable and ideally run underground.

This. Your neighbours aren't allowed to run live cables around the place randomly any more than the rest of us. Tell them to sheath the damn thing properly and fix it properly out of reach, or bury it 600mm deep. Or, stop being precious about their damn wire (if it's armoured cable it's not really an issue if your kids play with it really although obviously not advisable- the way armoured cable works by the time they've broken through the rubber sleeve it will have shorted their whole house because the armour behind the sheath should be earthed to their consumer board or earth block). Your children would have to penetrate 2mm steel braid armour to actually get to the sleeve for the actual live wires- a feat as they're a pain enough to get through with side cutters!

If it's not armoured cable then yeah, I probably wouldn't let the kids out until they had sorted it. And I would be giving them only a few days to sort it, cause it means your garden is catestrophically unsafe until it is sorted.

I wouldn't pander to her, tell them your children have a right to play in their own garden! Its natural for children to be inquisitive! It not like there constantly shouting and annoying, if they don't want to be seen then maybe they should move to somewhere where there not overlooked. Also tell them to sort that wire out because if one of your children is hurt as a consequence of that wire there will be hell to pay!! I think you may see a change in their attitude when they realise that you won't be putting up with their nonsense.

I got an electrician I know, to look at it through FaceTime. He said it is a very low voltage wire, 240v. As it stands it is safe. You would need to cut it with clippers for it to be dangerous and even then it wouldn't be much of a shock. He said it wouldn't be best practice and as an electrician he wouldn't do it, but nothing about it looks unsafe.

He didn't know about the boundary, in Ireland he thinks you can run them on top of the wall
As long as everyone is ok with it. He worked in the uk and you definitely can't do that there, it has to be on your side.

@Cacacoisfarraige, children playing is not issue. There are 3 children on both sides of my house. The one on the right at out nicely, only occasionally being very loud and when they do, they are being told to keep it down. They don't try to look into my garden or engage in conversations.

The other side though is another matter. Kids left to their own devices outside, clearly to give the parents a break. They don't talk normally, they scream at each other all the time. Every word is shouting at each other and it's non stop. Parents oblivious to it.

Here we go right now, screaming and then crying and whinging. It's been like this for one hour already. I feel like shouting a huge 'Shut the Hell up' but no, I gave to bear it because if I did, I'd be the one unreasonable!

Children playing and touching a shared fence or wall is not trespass. You absolutely do have the obligation to ensure your garden is not a hazard to neighbours.

*@Cacacoisfarraige, children playing is not issue. There are 3 children on both sides of my house. The one on the right at out nicely, only occasionally being very loud and when they do, they are being told to keep it down. They don't try to look into my garden or engage in conversations.

The other side though is another matter. Kids left to their own devices outside, clearly to give the parents a break. They don't talk normally, they scream at each other all the time. Every word is shouting at each other and it's non stop. Parents oblivious to it.

Here we go right now, screaming and then crying and whinging. It's been like this for one hour already. I feel like shouting a huge 'Shut the Hell up' but no, I gave to bear it because if I did, I'd be the one unreasonable!*

Sorry hear that. I know it is hard when everyone is stuck inside.

Since your neighbors are noisy and don't fret about disturbing you when they have loud gatherings, I wouldn't be feeling too bad about your kids 'disturbing' them occasionally. It's part of having neighbors.
I would tell them to move the wire into their own garden and if they were snotty I might be inclined to cut the wire, since it is solely to their benefit and a potential danger to your children.
Best long term solution is to put up something to shield them from view.

Also, I think you are doing fine wrt supervision of your children. It's hard to balance everything,vehicle being super stressed. I don't think people should be critical of working parents doing their best to cope.