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AIBU?

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Original poster

Children playing in garden

260 replies

SMarie123 · 02/04/2020 20:05

My neighbours have an electrical cable running along the wall between our two houses. I have a 4 year old and a 2 year year old, we are in Ireland so we have been home for 3 weeks already.

My husband is a front of line healthcare worker and is doing 13 hour days every day (including long days from home at weekends) I am supposed to be working but really I am minding kids... thank god for nice bosses. anyway yesterday I was on conference calls and I put them in the garden. There was no drama specifically, but I could tell I was causing the neighbours annoyance (they are retired and like to spend time in the garden. The man is always doing gardening and they watch him as they are home in the day just now).

Anyway the lady complained that the 4 year old pulled the wire (didn't break it or anything). She said she was concerned for his safety.., in the grand scheme of things it is just such a petty point but she went on and on.... Now I feel like I can't put them in the garden which is super annoying. He hasn't gone near the wire again but it was such a dramatic reaction.

I am torn between bringing round a card to apologise and just being indignant. Longer term I don't think it pays to fall out with your neighbours.

OP posts:
Itallgoingpetetong · 02/04/2020 20:39

She said she was concerned for his safety

But not concerned enough to have a dangerous wire out of reach and, correctly protected, by a cable guard / conduit Hmm

Chloemol · 02/04/2020 20:39

Speak to your neighbours, explain you are wfh, but can see the children, oh and by the way can they now move the wire to their side of the fence and secure it properly

ChateauMargaux · 02/04/2020 20:39

Your neighbours are unreasonable and trying to make it your fault.

Advise them that the wire is unsafe and needs to be secured and if they don't do it, you will have to insist that it is not accessible from your garden.

Remind them that your children need to have time outside and they have a right to freedom and safety in their own garden.

JKScot4 · 02/04/2020 20:40

Your ndn are in the wrong to have a cable on your wall and low enough for a small child to reach, tell them to move it, why is it even there??

Darbs76 · 02/04/2020 20:40

Also I’d discourage the kids from looking over the wall. I know they are young but you can teach them that the neighbours want privacy.

ThePlantsitter · 02/04/2020 20:41

When she said she was concerned for his safety, you should have said, 'why, is it dangerous?' and looked aghast. What is she doing having wires people can't touch in the garden??

NewYearNewJob123 · 02/04/2020 20:42

I think i'm very relaxed and not risk averse but a 4 and 2 year old in the garden alone while you're in the house on a conference call doesn't sound great.

BlipBlopBloop · 02/04/2020 20:45

I know I’ve seen numerous threads on mumsnet where parents allow their 2+ year olds in the garden alone, some younger. I know I was as a child too. Continue letting them play outside, it’s good for them.
As for wire, I’d tell neighbours to secure it or remove it.

Original poster
SMarie123 · 02/04/2020 20:45

For the people that think I don't supervise my kids, the garden is only 3 meters deep and 5m long. I can see them at all times. The wall is 4 foot high but I have an unbuilt plant bed that is 40 cm deep. They stand in that which means they can see over.

I did see him touch the wire and I knew they were just waiting for something to happen. It is clipped down but it doesn't have the right secure fitting.

Under normal circumstances we spend a very small amount of time in the garden, there is a much better communal green in front.

I am aware him looking over is annoying but this is only for a short time and should people not be cutting each other a bit of slack?

OP posts:
BlipBlopBloop · 02/04/2020 20:47

Also you need to teach your children not to look over their wall, give your neighbours some privacy. Assuming windows and back door is open too and they’re in earshot

mumwon · 02/04/2020 20:47

www.gardenlaw.co.uk/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=13309&sid=301b08cca2e3d1022130f559f854589a&start=30
worth reading!!!!! you may have a point over him!!!!!

Original poster
SMarie123 · 02/04/2020 20:49

She said she was concerned for his safety because the clips that secure it down are sharp. Which they are a little, you know regular clips we have all seen.

I think it is a bit harsh to say someone can't go on a conference call with their children in plain sight at the moment. It isn't like anyone has chosen this juggling of motherhood and work.

OP posts:
Mummy0ftwo12 · 02/04/2020 20:50

the wire shouldn't be there, but maybe she was being over cautious and you are overthinking your reaction?

Nicknacky · 02/04/2020 20:51

Your first posts to allude to not monitoring them all the time when they are in the garden......

mumwon · 02/04/2020 20:52

my dd was an electric engineer (back in the dark ages) long before all the modern safety rules - however - he wanted to have electricity to the garage he built so what he did was to dig a little trench & put down pipe & thread wire through to protect it (& knowing him he probably had a lot of other safety aspects as well that I didn't know about - he was very safety conscious & ahead of his times - this was back in the 60's)

nowaitaminute · 02/04/2020 20:53

What is your neighbours reasoning for having a electric cable OP? Is there cattle around or something? Otherwise, I really think it is not needed. And as it stands the cable should be on his land and you should have a fence on your side!!

maddening · 02/04/2020 20:53

Why is the wire on your side and not properly secured? Ask the neighbours to fix it.

BeetrootRocks · 02/04/2020 20:55

What is the wire for?

Sounds well dodgy. What if the plastic covering goes a bit and it rains? Anyone brushing past could get a shock.

That's the issue.

With a small garden and good view I would let a 2 and 4 year old play while I watched from a conference call.

RedRedScab · 02/04/2020 20:56

Do people not allow their kids in their gardens on their own?

Yes if the garden is safe and I can see them. No if they have access to electric cables!

Can't the cable be covered in some way?

Laiste · 02/04/2020 20:56

3m x 5m is a little courtyard garden really and i can imagine you can see them easily through the window/patio door ect.

If i were you i'd take away the flower bed thing which they are able to stand on to look over the wall. Would be safer for them re.falling off.

A 4ft wall is pretty short. Can you add a trellis?

I'd tackle getting them to shift the wire once you've stopped them climbing to look over. Then they have nothing to accuse you of in return. They are going to get taller so this issue needs sorting ....

BlipBlopBloop · 02/04/2020 20:56

@SMarie123 i don’t think anyone IRL would think anything of letting the children play outside in earshot. Nor usually on mumsnet, search threads about what age a child can play in garden alone. However you do need to tell them to leave their neighbours alone. They need to sort the wire if it’s dangerous

Laiste · 02/04/2020 20:57

The wire issue i mean

zombieapocalypseisnigh · 02/04/2020 20:57

Your DCs should be able to play safely in your garden as you've described it without your eyes on them for every single second.

Tell your neighbour to sort the cable; it shouldn't be there.

Nicknacky · 02/04/2020 20:59

If very young children are climbing flower boxes when in the garden , then they need to be watched.

And I’m by far from a helicopter parent.

itsgettingweird · 02/04/2020 21:00

Your neighbour shouldn't have a wire on a boundary line that's putting the residents at risk.

I'd send him a card stating this and giving him 24 hours to rectify it or you'll contact the council!

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