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AIBU?

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Original poster

Children playing in garden

260 replies

SMarie123 · 02/04/2020 20:05

My neighbours have an electrical cable running along the wall between our two houses. I have a 4 year old and a 2 year year old, we are in Ireland so we have been home for 3 weeks already.

My husband is a front of line healthcare worker and is doing 13 hour days every day (including long days from home at weekends) I am supposed to be working but really I am minding kids... thank god for nice bosses. anyway yesterday I was on conference calls and I put them in the garden. There was no drama specifically, but I could tell I was causing the neighbours annoyance (they are retired and like to spend time in the garden. The man is always doing gardening and they watch him as they are home in the day just now).

Anyway the lady complained that the 4 year old pulled the wire (didn't break it or anything). She said she was concerned for his safety.., in the grand scheme of things it is just such a petty point but she went on and on.... Now I feel like I can't put them in the garden which is super annoying. He hasn't gone near the wire again but it was such a dramatic reaction.

I am torn between bringing round a card to apologise and just being indignant. Longer term I don't think it pays to fall out with your neighbours.

OP posts:
MintyMabel · 03/04/2020 10:40

So the neighbours put in an illegal hazard in their garden and as a consequence the OP is negligent for not supervising her children in her garden

I’m not sure these pedantics matter when your child has been electrocuted.

MintyMabel · 03/04/2020 10:45

put in an illegal hazard in their garden

😂 It isn’t an illegal hazard. It’s a domestic cable, like an extension cable. There are no laws covering what you do with extension cables.

Brefugee · 03/04/2020 11:00

Who does the wall belong to? if it's yours tell the neighbours the wire has to go.

If they don't like being looked at they can either stay out of the garden or put a higher wall/fence up.

And if they want an electric cable to their decking they should follow the regulations about how to do that.

I don't get all the fuss about 2 children being in a garden and visible to the parent. I used to let mine out all the time as long as I could see them it was fine, and if it went quiet i went out to have a look.

happinessischocolate · 03/04/2020 12:07

I don't get all the fuss about 2 children being in a garden and visible to the parent. I used to let mine out all the time as long as I could see them it was fine, and if it went quiet i went out to have a look.

If they are visible to the parent then they are being supervised, as long as the parent doesn't get engrossed in anything and temporarily forget about them, I can't see any problem either.

Kastanien · 03/04/2020 12:56

Just get some fence paneling and attach that to the wall.

Is fence panelling an essential item? These types of items are harder to get at the moment, it is not like pre-lockdown life where you could pop into B & Q.

Also, having seen that picture the neighbours are taking the piss, the cable needs to at least be on their side, you can't expect a child to not touch something on top of the party wall. He really was not doing anything wrong. It wasn't like he was reaching over to their side and tugging at it. They need to move it!

Mintjulia · 03/04/2020 13:22

It’s really simple, the cable should be on their side of the boundary and in secure ducting.

This is their problem not yours . Of course your children should be able to play safely in your own garden.

DishingOutDone · 03/04/2020 13:35

Could you just recap OP, who owns that piece of wall that the cable is attached to?

Original poster
SMarie123 · 03/04/2020 13:37

In Ireland the party wall agreements don't work the same as they do in the uk, it is less structured. We learnt that when we did our extension.

I think they are annoyed that our extension goes so far into the garden. We used to have trees at the back of our garden which are gone now. So they have lost a lot of privacy. As the properties slope downwards we are looking on top of them more than they are looking on us.

They are very hard to talk to, otherwise I probably would have had the chat already. It was totally our intention to put something up to give us both privacy. We are happy to pay for it, I think it would be easier than trying to get money off them. Also people are more likely to agree if you say you are paying.

OP posts:
callmeadoctor · 03/04/2020 13:48

So are you saying that you both own the wall with the cable on? OP all of your posts are not terribly clear. Regardless of that, the cable should be done safely (looks like there is a loop at end of picture, which doesn't look safe?) If it is not safe then it might as well be barbed wire on the top, would you put up with that? Of course not.

daisyhead08 · 03/04/2020 13:50

I'm in Ireland too, your neighbours are arseholes. We have similar cranks living next door to us. In the beginning we tried to be nice about all sorts of things that we really didn't have to be nice about. Now we just ignore them. I know exactly the type of garden you have, your children are totally safe out there and no-one should be shouting at them.

Original poster
SMarie123 · 03/04/2020 14:18

The answer is I don't know who owns it. When we built our extension we learnt that in Ireland the legislation around garden walls just isn't clear. At the time we were talking about to the left and right with the architect, but given there is so much ambiguity there, I doubt the back of your house is clearly defined. I haven't checked though. I would rather just pay the money and give us all privacy.

The point of the post was in these hard, unprecedented times why are people not giving each other a break. Lots of people a juggling lots of things, worries about their loved ones and their jobs. Who has time for such small points?

At the time of writing I wasn't thinking he could get electrocuted, I kind of hadn't really registered it if I am honest. We only moved back in a few months ago and we are just getting used to our "new" house.

Personally I think they must have some underlying stress because the reaction was so out of proportion to the actual incident. I was upset by her clear judgement without really knowing anything about me, my situation etc

OP posts:
DishingOutDone · 03/04/2020 15:26

Or they could just be dicks Wink

Runnerduck34 · 03/04/2020 15:43

Someone needs to sort that electricity cable out , it doesn't sound like its in a safe place, if its your neighbours then ask them to do it , if its yours get it sorted.

If you can see them clearly they should be ok to play in secure back garden with no hazards for a short time but you need to be able to watch them and get to them quick if needed

oncemorewithfeeling99 · 03/04/2020 15:55

I’ve just seen your photo Shock. Our cable is far, far thicker, meant for outside and is also run almost totally under the ground.

I do think it should be moved for your sake and for your neighbours do sake, they should get it done properly.

NameChangedToProtect1 · 03/04/2020 17:23

Relax. Yes it looks like a piece of flex or TWE so is not suited to the environment but it's highly unlikely to result in electrocution. If the insulation is not brittle it's OK for the time being. Incidentally do you know what is connected to?
I'm a brutal uppity swine so if they annoyed me enough I'd put the wire cutters through it (insulated) and hand it back in 2" lenghts.. but it's nice to be nice!

makingmammaries · 03/04/2020 17:29

They definitely need to cut you some slack since all kids are at home right now and parents are busy. And they need to sort their cable.

ButterscupsRevenge · 03/04/2020 17:37

few things sorry if they have been answered already but; How high is this wall that a 4year old can touch/ both can see over to watch him garden? Why is there electrical wiring on your side and not there's? Presumably you are supporting the frontline by working from home, in a secure garden couldnt you be able to let them play in the garden without helicopter parenting? Personally id thank her for bringing the safety issue to your attention and open a discussion about moving the wiring to a more suitable place

sunshine11 · 03/04/2020 17:38

I would turn this around - if it’s accessible from your garden and to your children it presents a risk to them. If something were to happen she would be liable. She needs to make it safe, not to bitch about your children touching it, they’re kids after all.

genius1308 · 03/04/2020 17:38

Why is it on the boundary wall? If it's their wire it should be on their property, or at least their side of the wall. It also doesn't look like it's an armoured cable!

Steveoflincoln · 03/04/2020 17:39

You haven't mentioned why there's a cable, surely this is illegal if not, tie red ribbons along the cable telling your children they are dangerous, most children recognise red for danger.

Cacacoisfarraige · 03/04/2020 17:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Commonwasher · 03/04/2020 17:41

I can’t believe posters who think you must continually hover over your children while they play. You can see them, therefore they are supervised. Other than ensuring they don’t hop up on the planter and peer at the neighbours, I think the only thing you need to do is point out their hazardous wire, and ask them either to move it to their side of the wall, or to ensure it’s covered up ASAP.

You are quite right that in this current situation you can take a conference call whilst watching your kids from the window — who would have chosen to work full time whilst simultaneously caring for toddlers?

TheSoapyFrog · 03/04/2020 17:54

There wouldn't be any apology from me let alone a card. They will have to get used to the fact that this is the way things are going to be for a while and if they are that concerned about a child hurting themselves on the clips, they should be doing something to ensure it doesn't happen.

NicolaC17 · 03/04/2020 17:55

Personally, I don’t take my eyes of my children in the garden. Only takes a second for them to eat something they shouldn’t or do something that may cause them harm.

niugboo · 03/04/2020 17:57

As usual there is nonsense advice.

  1. the wire is only illegal if it crosses the property boundary. If it doesn’t and your child had to reach over the fence he’s technically trespassing.
  2. they are only responsible for raising the fence if they own it. If you own it it’s your responsibility. And if they do own it they only have to increase its height if they want to.
  3. if you are on the same floor as children and within seconds of reaching them there’s no harm in them being out there. You shouldn’t be upstairs without them in your eye range.

As for keeping the peace. Tell her you’re sorry, you know it’s tough but you do need the kids to play outside in the current climate and would she mind if your OH secured the wire so it’s safe.

The big IF here is this. If your children are encroaching their property then actually you have to keep them inside. Social distancing and all that. They are not allowed to do this and as their parent you are responsible for ensuring they don’t.

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