To put children in school when I'm not working?

[hibbledobble]

I know that at the moment, school is childcare for key workers only, and that children should only go in when necessary.

I'm a junior doctor, and I have just been sent to covid-19 wards, from previously doing a speciality.

I am happy to help in these extraordinary circumstances, but I am struggling with the current situation. There has been a lot of anxiety regarding the change into an unfamiliar environment, and lack of communication from the hospital. I haven't done general medicine for a very long time.

Emotionally it is harrowing right now, and I find myself crying daily at work. It is really difficult to cope. As doctors, we have been warned that we will all have PTSD by the end of this.

Would IBU to put my children in school some days when I'm not working, to give myself some space to focus on my mental health?

“Key worker” means a lot of things. 🙄

@hibbledobble I would not bother answering anymore. Thank you for the work you do, I hope your DC know their DM is ace. Light a candle, take a bath, enjoy your rest.

I think you should use it. You will run yourself into the ground if you don't. I don't think an extra day will make a difference to the school. It will to the lives you save if you are rested and able to perform well. Shift work is exhausting with extended shifts you need time to sleep. I am also frontline staff and if i am on a late shift or night I still put my children in because I need a few hours sleep before shift and I am unable to teach them at home. I can't teach all day then start work at 7pm. If you need it use it please don't feel guilty.

Thank you for all that you do. I wish that I could help.

It's easy to single out Destroyer as being heartless/appalling etc but a lot of what she is saying is exactly what we are being told in our schools:

• A number of schools do have a policy of not letting children attend when a parent/carer is at home. (Equally, as we've seen on this thread, there are others that don't.)

• If the school is operating a rota system for staff then a child attending for an extra day will mean that more school staff are at risk of being infected. (Again,other schools may have a different system).

• It is difficult to keep children 2 metres apart from one another at all times in school. They very quickly forget, especially when they get caught up in a game or want to comfort an upset friend.

We are all trying to balance the needs of different groups of people in our communities. None of us have ever gone through this before and so we are all still trying to work out which system may or may not work best for the circumstances of our particular groups/ communities.

It's not wrong for hibble to ask about the possibility of sending her children in and to talk about what the consequences might be if she can't do so.. Neither is it wrong for destroyer to point out that there may be other consequences if the children do go to school.

Ultimately, it's only hibble's school who are in a position to make that final decision.

OP, I am working in planning at a hospital b near me, so not even front line, but the emotional toll is severe even for me. Spending 60 or 70 hours a week thinking about deaths, potential and actual and the number of people potentially becoming severely ill. I come home and cry. I toss and turn at night. I don't have kids at home so it's okay, but if I did I would need time and space to compose myself, process things, and recharge. I don't blame you at all for wanting more time, and I think your plan is entirely reasonable. I can only imagine how hard it is for you and the other staff members.

Please don't feel that you shouldn't do this. You need to take care of yourself, because you are taking care of the nation.

@desroyer the schools want to stay open to help key worker childminder. The drive for this was to support the NHS and to save lives! A large number of those children will be children of NHS staff and front line staff with exposure to COVID19. If you have an issue with the exposure then don't send your kids in. Some of my NHS friends have chosen to make alternative arrangements. Teachers who are in vulnerable categories aren't looking after these children. The staff working are aware of the risks and are managing the risks.

Hi OP, you would definitely not be unreasonable to send your children to school. I'm a nurse (18 years experience) and some of the sights I've seen this week have been harrowing and will haunt me for some time. I actually cried in the middle of my shift this week, I have never done this before. I do wonder about the state of our mental health after all this. DH also NHS and like you we are so anxious about bringing something home to dc. We've implemented a strict washing and cleaning routine and trying to distance ourselves from dc as much as possible. Dc are in school, and the staff have been incredibly kind and always ask how we are coping. I feel able to keep mine at home on my days off but I'm sure they wouldn't hesitate to take them if I needed it. Please look after yourself, you need your days off to rest.

www.theguardian.com/world/2020/apr/01/misleading-and-alarming-sheffields-coronavirus-figures?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_News_Feed

The fatalities apparently arent to bad round here. Take care of yourself and do try mindfulness and refer onto iapt take care xx

Do it. You need it. Sleep and refuel. Thanks for everything.

@destoryer 's comments are making my blood run cold. How can you be so brutal ? Seething on your behalf OP...though maybe we should just feel sorry for her/him - obviously pretty lacking in the compassion department.

Thank you for all you are doing look after yourself as best you can . Logically speaking an extra day here or there isn't going to make a blind bit of difference re spreading it.

MrsSpenserGregson

All teachers get paid holidays.

dont be alone either op.i know we arent professionals but there are some bloody brilliant people on here when shit hits the fan.never have i seen a support system like it when people on these threads band round someone in need.so always always come and talk if you need to.your not alone.i know your doing this job and its only you seeing what you are but we are all trying to hold you tight in this time too,if only in our thoughts and strength.
for what your doing for us there is niothing we cant listen to.
keep going.you can do this.you can you can do this.

get yourself a little routine for when yo come in.my keywroker cousin has started hanging her dressing gown insdie the door.so when she comes in she strips off and stragith into it.then she has a covid playlist that she tells Alexa to put on,its calming music that greets her as she walks trhough the house on entering.
give yourself these little remedies.little moments to just catch you when you feel overwhelmed.

I’m sorry but I think YABU. You’d be risking your kids getting the virus, and you’d be adding to the risk of their teachers getting it. You are doing an unimaginably tough job and I admire you so much for that but it’s not fair to palm your kids off onto others. Can you not plonk them in front of the TV? Watch some films together? Play some games? Go for walks or bike rides? Kids can be good for your mental health.

You’d be risking your kids getting the virus, and you’d be adding to the risk of their teachers getting it. You are doing an unimaginably tough job and I admire you so much for that but it’s not fair to palm your kids off onto others.

I agree with this I must say. Because you’re on the front line, your kids are potentially exposing others.

Kids can be good for your mental health.

Yes this too

This is why I was so angry when we didn't get testing. DH is frontline NHS and we think we've had it but not sure because they didn't test us despite me begging my MP. So on top of the huge stress of working frontline we are worried he will pass on to.the kids. This fear could have been alleviated if the government and done as asked and tested more.

Agreed yester and it would also allow those who are self isolating to return to work sooner, if appropriate (is they or their family member don't have covid-19).

Based on current trust and national guidelines I need to self isolate for 14 days if any of my children or anyone I am living with becomes pyrexial or has a new cough. Young children are often pyrexial, for a whole variety of reasons.

I’m an assistant headteacher and working with my senior leadership team to create staffing rotas and registers for our closure.

We are offering respite places for some of our most vulnerable families. I would not hesitate to offer one to you in your situation.
You must rest

Hi OP, also junior doctor redeployed to frontline with children.

I think within reason the odd day so you can recharge yourself is completely fair. We are putting ourselves at considerable risk and the psychological strain of that is enormous- we need to take care not to burn out.

Take care.

The irony of 'clap for the NHS' workers and then reading this thread with many people that are happy for us to take so much risk and trauma but won't even help us a little to get through this. Shameful.

It’s putting the staff and children at the school at unnecessary risk though. It’s about reducing the risk as much as possible. When you are working, you need childcare. When you are not working, then take the opportunity to spend that time with your children especially the hours you must be working. You don’t know the personal circumstances of teachers, school staff. This could be devastating for them.

Psychological support is starting to be put in place for medical staff. It’s going to take time though.

@jdisjj it’s not about not wanting to help. It’s about not putting teachers and other children at risk. That the priority here, safety of others. Not everyone are doctors but a lot of other people are playing a huge role in the fight against the virus too who are also important.

Can clap for the NHS workers but not want to be put at risk from a deadly virus. They are not mutually exclusive.

@Nopitol, by my working, I am putting myself, my children, and those who care for them at risk. I understand that. The extra risk here is minimal, as my children are already at school, and mixing with other children and staff on a regular basis.

@jdisjj hugs to you as well. Hope you are well supported.

Thank you to all the teachers who are still working and saying they are happy to provide support at this time.