To put children in school when I'm not working?

[hibbledobble]

I know that at the moment, school is childcare for key workers only, and that children should only go in when necessary.

I'm a junior doctor, and I have just been sent to covid-19 wards, from previously doing a speciality.

I am happy to help in these extraordinary circumstances, but I am struggling with the current situation. There has been a lot of anxiety regarding the change into an unfamiliar environment, and lack of communication from the hospital. I haven't done general medicine for a very long time.

Emotionally it is harrowing right now, and I find myself crying daily at work. It is really difficult to cope. As doctors, we have been warned that we will all have PTSD by the end of this.

Would IBU to put my children in school some days when I'm not working, to give myself some space to focus on my mental health?

Why are u so emotional people become poorly all the time and as a dr u will see this? Are u feeling more emotional as u haven't worked on resp med for some time and are struggling getting used to it again. Maybe ring iapt and get some help u can self refer, practice some mindfulness and on your days of have a family day as kids help download disney plus and relax. X

@HopefullyAnonymous the police are very important right now but I’m sorry, NOBODY is more important than doctors and nurses.

It comes down to that.

Yes, they should get preferential treatment and allowances that other sectors don’t. Absolutely they should.

For fuck sake! People are seriously asking why it’s hard mentally? Jesus!

@hibbledobble please, please, PLEASE ignore these utter gobshites!

I haven't asked the school but that is an excellent suggestion. They have already said they are happy to have them post nights.

Healthyandhappy - I can only imagine it’s because lots of people are now dying without their loved ones being allowed near them at the end?? That must be so upsetting to witness.

Where’s your partner in this OP? Sorry if I’ve missed that info.

@Healthyandhappy it's difficult to verbalise why this is so bad. Those who are there with me: other doctors, nurses HCAs and allied health professionals, would understand.

To try to explain a bit. Yes, I have seen patients die many times before. It's never been like this though. It's the volume of people dying, the fact that their families can't visit, and so they are dying alone, that they often deteriorate and die suddenly, that they are difficult to intubate and ventilate. There is also the general anxiety and uncertainty regarding the situation. This is a pandemic, the likes of which we haven't seen since 1918. We are hearing horror stories from Italy and Spain, and knowing that we will be like them in a week or two. Leading experts are saying that we will all have PTSD by the end of this.

I can imagine that hard. I'm a registered nurse prev worked on type 2 resp med ward with bipap and also cystic fibrosis ward. Work in outpatients now. Deaths hard but u have to gain barriers so u dont get depressed as a junior dr I can imagine still getting your coping strategies in place. Do self refer onto iapt or ring spa mental health services if your struggling. What grade junior dr are u ho or sho?

@healthyandhappy she is seeing people dying alone and scared every time she goes to work, and living with the fact she could catch it, her colleagues could catch it, and working herself to the bone no doubt, all day every day. Jesus fucking christ, finding nemo and some breathing exercises are not going to cut it with that kind of emotional trauma. OP, send your kids in, the routine will be good for them, the rest and recharge will be good for you, and please do make sure you take advantage of any mental health support available to you. What you are doing is heroic, I certainly couldn't do it, and I am beyond grateful that we have people like you willing to fight this illness.

scared every time she goes to work, and living with the fact she could catch it, her colleagues could catch it

But isn't bothered about possibly transmitting it via herself and her children to other people's children and their families. The more they’re in unnecessarily, the greater the risk to other people’s children.

Thank you Kat. I have huge guilt too. Every time I come home from work I worry I am bringing it back to my children. Rationally I know that they are unlikely to become seriously unwell, as they are healthy, but the guilt is there regardless. I would feel more guilty not working, knowing how badly doctors are needed right now though. I feel very anxious in general currently.

Rules are that children only go to school when parent is working.

That said, speak to hr about support available. Our hospital has a lot in place for practical and emotional support for our staff.

OP what does your husband do and why can’t he have them?

It's also that while I think I have had it, I cannot be sure, and that if I do catch it I worry I could become severely unwell due to the viral load I am exposed to.

One of my colleagues was admitted to ICU recently.

@destroyer I am not sure why you are so unnecessarily critical, especially when I have said that I am currently struggling due to trauma at work.

I already said upthread that their dad is also a key worker.

My children are already at risk yes, and attend school, but the alternative is staying at home, which would be terrible with the current need.

Healthy and happy is ridiculous.

Normally I would be the first to say you are a doctor and signed up to see dying people, you should have resilience.

These are unprecedented circumstances and many will have to go above and beyond what they expected.

Let’s give them the support they need.

Destroyer what is it you do?

@hibbledobble you and your children need schools to look after and cherish you at the moment because your contribution isn't something we can do. As teachers, what we can look after your children whilst you sleep/have some processing time and we can do your grocery shopping. If there are other things we can do to make a tiny bit of your life a little bit more straightforward right now, we'd want to help with that too whether it's school-related or not. And @HopefullyAnonymous, the same goes for you; if your DCs' school won't accommodate them after you've done a night shift, ask someone higher up to contact the school and explain on your behalf.

Destroyer - you are appalling

Some good advice on here, if your dc school will take them send them in. Being tired makes other things very difficult to deal with.

Do take the time to look after yourself, my dc worry about me and that makes me feel guilty but I have to absorb that and 'get on with it'.

It's hard to understand unless you see it the fear, the lack of PPE the staff sickness and that is probably the easier side of it. It's the death and the feeling of helplessness where their loved ones cannot be there. It is crisis of the like we have never seen. I feel emotional all the time especially when you hear about medics dying.

Please op do what you need to do look after you, sleep well, eat Well and look after your mental health. We can at least look after each other.

I am not sure why you are so unnecessarily critical, especially when I have said that I am currently struggling due to trauma at work.

Maybe because I am responding not to you, but to the inordinate amount of tags (@) I’ve had and that’s how it’s coming across.

My husband and I are both key workers, yet we are working together to make sure one of us is at home at all times. Your husband is absent in your responses - why can’t he look after them so you can rest?

Are you on the frontline? Healthcare workers?

@Destroyer

Do what you have to do OP. You are putting your life at risk to help strangers. Get some breathing space. You need to be top form when you’re at work. Thank you for everything you’re doing. I can’t even imagine how hard this is for you. I wish I could hug you through the screen xxx

There simply aren't enough hours to play pass the children and both work the hours required. I am working over 70 hours this week.