To wonder why I'm getting abuse?

[NewDOOFUSfor20]

I'm an A&E nurse, I have had to leave my DH and ds at home and move into accommodation as I pose a risk to them both. This was not an easy decision, I'm heartbroken as is my family, but it felt like I'm damned if I do damned if I don't.
Last night on a "spotted" page I follow on Facebook somebody wrote in to ask if them and their 3 friends that they are "spending isolation together" with could go to the park for a game of football. I asked them if they thought this was a holiday, I took that terminology as "spending Christmas together", and suggested playing their football game in the garden. Oh my god, the abuse I have been given! Apparently this is something I signed up for (bloody well didn't sign up to have to leave my family), I am part of the problem as I'm spreading this around, I'm "thick" because a game of football is a form of exercise and that is allowed under government guidelines, I'm bitter because they can spend time playing with their mates whereas I've walked out in my family.

I honestly don't get this. Spending isolation together makes it sound like they're not taking this seriously, football games are not essential (and are being dispersed by police). It's mainly 20-something men that have been abusive, not that that makes a difference I guess, and they have displayed an enormous lack of ignorance around the whole situation.

Do I deserve the abuse I've been getting? Should I have just stfu (I have barely commented on anything on Facebook because our trust are monitoring our social media). I just got annoyed that people are STILL disregarding the guidelines set out, if they continue to act like this then we will be facing similar measures to Spain and Italy where any outdoor exercise is forbidden.

Yes they could have - but they didn't. Which proves my point - left to their own devices many people are incapable of exhibiting common sense. It's all " me,me,me" and "I want".

And you evidence that these 3 men were part of the people at the beach.

And you evidence that these 3 men were part of the people at the beach.

Do you have evidence that they weren't?

The numbers at the beaches were enough to prove that too many people aren't taking this seriously and I'm.not taking the media's word for it or even just random people on Facebook. I know many of the people.in the Facebook group - they are decent, trustworthy people and I trust that what they are witnessing is the truth. My husband is telling me what he is seeing every day as he is driving around at work. He is working in people's houses, with strict rules that the customers are asked to agree to before he gets there. Inevitably he gets there and they don't stick to them. Because too many people don't think this is serious, or think that the rules don't apply, or think they are invincible or that it's "just a bad cold or no worse than the flu".

Until someone does something wrong, you can not preemptively restrict them.

This absolutely. It's properly scary that anyone thinks that's acceptable.

Do you have evidence that they weren't?

Could you just think about this for a moment. Seriously. That's not acceptable...what happened to innocent until proven guilty!!?

Do you have evidence that they weren't?

How can you not see what's wrong with statement

If the police knock at your door and say your neighbiurs said you had a party last night and you would be fined, if you couldnt prove you didnt....you would be ok with that?

You would be happy to be prosecuted on the basis of 'susan down gen road had a party/went to the beach so that means you did'.

The law or society doesnt work that way.

Do you really judge everyone like this? Assuming they will break the law, because someone else did.

Are you like this outside of a pandemic.

I dont need to prove they will not break the rules neither do they. And theres nothing in law or guidelines that's says 'you cant do x because someone down the road broke a rule'

Hooves, the lockdown has worked in that it has reduced the spread of infection - it was never going to have 100% compliance. Try to have a sense of proportion.

But you are doing what posters on here always do - you assume that what these people will do will do is adhere to the rules and won't be tempted to forget them in the heat of the moment.

And you are assuming the reverse, with no evidence. The fact that you see a few people in your area deliberately ignoring the law and the guidance self-evidently doesn't mean that everyone will. The idiots you have seen gathering together are people who are perfectly well aware it's not allowed but think that doesn't apply to them, or that it's big and clever. Someone who takes the trouble to ask if it's OK manifestly isn't in that category.

Of course anyone might give in to temptation and ignore social distancing, but if you take that to its logical conclusion you wouldn't allow anyone out of doors at all.

Since lockdown, I regularly take a walk past a large open area with a children's playground in the corner. I regularly see what look like family groups of three or four playing football together, with other people also walking around. The ball players are universally around 50 yards away from each other. I never see the family groups joining up, or other randoms joining in with their games, and I never see bigger groups.

You assume because of what you see in your area that everyone in the country except you totally abandons all rationality the moment they get together in the open and start enjoying themselves. Can you perhaps contemplate the possibility that you're mistaken?

You need to calm down Hooves, your posts are getting hysterical.

As this group all live together I don’t see the problem in them playing football in a quiet spot in the park.
If energetic young people can’t let off steam and enjoy healthy exercise safely this will create a whole other type of problem.

Save your ire for whoever is responsible for sending poor key workers to work on crowded tubes

Hooves, the lockdown has worked in that it has reduced the spread of infection - it was never going to have 100% compliance. Try to have a sense of proportion.

Can you provide a link to this evidence?

Last time I looked, one study has shown that spread might have been reduced to below one, but no firm evidence yet, plus the numbers in hospital rocketed over past 24 hours, so I wouldn't be too quick to announce that the lockdown has worked just yet.

As for those comparing this to crimes and innocent until.proven guilty - why does anyone need to be accused or arrested for anything? You're being ridiculous in exactly the way you are accusing me of being.

I.dont see how telling people bthat it isn't advisable to go and play football in a park is comparable to arresting them.for a crime that they didn't commit.

You cannot justify the country being effectively in lockdown, 20% of businesses closing every month, the economy tanking, thousands of people dying, drs and nurses seriously ill and dying and then assert that it's fine for groups to go and play team games at the park. It's deluded. Give people an inch and they will take a mile. Tell people that it's fine for a household to go and play football together at the park and I guarantee that will be the start of a slippery slope - one group may well stick to the rules but then you'll get another group who see them and they'll push the rules a bit, and so on until we see scenes like we saw a couple of weeks ago.

If we are advocating doing personal risk assessments and deciding ourselves what the risk of infection is rather than following blanket rules why can't I drive to my parents house and chat to them from the garden while they are in the house? Why can't I drive the 50miles to do the same with my children? No risk of anyone contracting it from either of those activities so why not?

Save your ire for whoever is responsible for sending poor key workers to work on crowded tubes

I'd say the blame lies with whoever supported a society that decides key workers get paid so.little that they are forced to live miles away from work tbh. Yet many people were quite happy to vote for governments that encouraged this.

why does anyone need to be accused or arrested for anything? You're being ridiculous in exactly the way you are accusing me of being

Theres legal implications to having a huge game of football with people outside your house.

No, not being ridiculous.

It's the same mentality. You are trying to convince people that other people cant do things that are within the rules and guidlines, because some people who live near broke them. And some people went to beach 2 weeks ago, before lockdown.

Having a kick about with people you live with, is within the guidlines.

That's it. Nobody has to not do things that are in the guidlines because you saw photos of some kids at a skate park.

That sort of thinking 'stop people doing anything because some broke the rules' isnt the way a society can function.

Should people not go to the supermarket, because some people have met other family members there and done a shop together, so they can see eachother.

We have been asked to not take unnecessary car journeys. Is it necessary for you to travel to your parents?

Who said these housemates were driving anywhere?

Which proves my point - left to their own devices many people are incapable of exhibiting common sense. It's all " me,me,me" and "I want" That is hilarious coming from you Hooves, you who wants everyone to stick to rules that you are making up, you who can judge what three random people who you don't know are going to do. It really is all me me me with you.

We have been asked to not take unnecessary car journeys. Is it necessary for you to travel to your parents?

Precisely that. We have been asked to not make unnecessary car journeys. It isn't against the law to make them. We have been asked to limit our time outdoors and we have been asked to walk, run or cycle for exercise. None of it is law. So, if it's ok to interpret the requests to limit time outside however loosely we choose why is it not ok.to do the same with driving?

Is it necessary to travel to see my parents and my children - for my mental health, yes I think it is.

If you are all insisting that exercise outdoors is essential to maintain the mental health of people then I think those of us who are shielded should be encouraged to get out in our private cars and go for a drive, to maintain our mental health. Very minimal risk involved in going out in our own cars and much better mentally than having to stay shut indoors

Hooves haven't you said you're in the shielding group?

The people in the OP who were asking if it was okay for them to do this, are actually demonstrating that they're not being casual, and were very likely to be responsible and maintain distance from others. Because, y'know THEY ASKED.
But OP found the need to be unpleasant to them by sneering and being sarcastic. Then thinks the people who jumped on her for it were themselves being unpleasant.

Sorry, I can see you just said that.

No one is going to stop you from taking a drive.

Is it necessary to travel to see my parents and my children - for my mental health, yes I think it is.

Then if its necessary, take that drive.

It's not something I am doing. But I dont feel its nessecary.

But you feel it is.

Hooves haven't you said you're in the shielding group?

Yes, hence why I can't go outside.
Which is why it would be a huge boost for my mental health of I could go.out for a drive.

Why shouldn't I be able to? No risk of infection if I'm in my own car.

It's quite an eye-opener about how things like fascism become acceptable.

On the upside, all this hasn't half brought the Officious Twat brigade out into full view.

The rule about exercise, I'm.sure, is meant to be a person on the move is running down the street, or cycling or walking

Would you like to enlighten us all by pointing out where that's stated in the legislation?

saraclara

And there's another thread running where a poster asks for urgent advice - her adult daughter wants to return home. After much prompting it's because she doesn't like having to cook and clean and would like to be in a bigger house. So, no, asking doesn't prove that means people are responsible and doing the right thing.

Shitsgettingcrazy

We've been asked to only travel.if going to.work, so I'm following the rules and up until a couple of days ago the police were enforcing this. That's why. Some of us are following the rules even if they are very tough, personally.

See, I haven't driven at all - haven't had any such need. You need to. Go for a drive. Seriously. It will do you a world of good.

We've been asked to onlytravel.ifgoingto.work, so I'm following the rules and up until a couple of days ago the police were enforcing this. That's why. Some of us are following the rules even if they are very tough, personally.

That's what I said.

You feel its essential. Which would be within the guidelines.

You were the one that said it was essential to you

Would you like to enlighten us all by pointing out where that's stated in the legislation?

Turns out that very few of the lockdown rules are law. Is social distancing law?

Certainly no legal limits to driving either regarding distance nor reason, so let's just follow the law right? Unless it's in the law we don't need to do it?

You were the one that said it was essential to you

Being essential to me, and being essential are two entirely different things.