To wonder why I'm getting abuse?

[NewDOOFUSfor20]

I'm an A&E nurse, I have had to leave my DH and ds at home and move into accommodation as I pose a risk to them both. This was not an easy decision, I'm heartbroken as is my family, but it felt like I'm damned if I do damned if I don't.
Last night on a "spotted" page I follow on Facebook somebody wrote in to ask if them and their 3 friends that they are "spending isolation together" with could go to the park for a game of football. I asked them if they thought this was a holiday, I took that terminology as "spending Christmas together", and suggested playing their football game in the garden. Oh my god, the abuse I have been given! Apparently this is something I signed up for (bloody well didn't sign up to have to leave my family), I am part of the problem as I'm spreading this around, I'm "thick" because a game of football is a form of exercise and that is allowed under government guidelines, I'm bitter because they can spend time playing with their mates whereas I've walked out in my family.

I honestly don't get this. Spending isolation together makes it sound like they're not taking this seriously, football games are not essential (and are being dispersed by police). It's mainly 20-something men that have been abusive, not that that makes a difference I guess, and they have displayed an enormous lack of ignorance around the whole situation.

Do I deserve the abuse I've been getting? Should I have just stfu (I have barely commented on anything on Facebook because our trust are monitoring our social media). I just got annoyed that people are STILL disregarding the guidelines set out, if they continue to act like this then we will be facing similar measures to Spain and Italy where any outdoor exercise is forbidden.

There you go again Hooves - using a MN thread of anonymous strangers as 'evidence' this is the way the entire country is 'moving'.

Also ignoring the people on that thread saying it is not busier round where they live. It's not busier round me either but you don't want to hear that.

Our major city is DEAD, but if you go to the seafront there are people, walking, running - well apart from one another. It’s a 5 mile seafront, of course people are going to exercise there. It’s a city space is limited.
That doesn’t mean people are acting illegally in some way or breaking lock down.

Do you want the lockdown lifted? Is that what you're trying to achieve? Do you want them to just let the virus spread? Because I can't see how anyone who wants it controlled can be advocating for people to go out to public spaces and prolong their stay. No I don't want it lifted but I don't want know it alls making up rules. Do explain to us how 3 people from the same house are going to spread the virus or make the lockdown last longer. You can't can you, you just hate the thought of someone doing something you aren't doing.

Why waste a moments energy on these ignorant, nasty individuals who could no more do what you are doing than fly in the air.

You don't know that at all. Any one of those people could also be a HCP. It's not magic, lots of people work in healthcare.

Yeah, I really doubt that the reprobates parading round here in gangs, with their Stafford shire bull terriers, complete with thick dog leads slung around their necks, are out enjoying a constitutional for the benefit of their mental health. But they aren't the people the OP is talking about. Maybe if the police stopped worrying about people buying Easter eggs and dealt with reprobates it might be a good idea.

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras even reprobates benefit from sunshine and fresh air (even if they don’t know it). I agree that the mental health of the shielded population is of particular concern at the moment but torturing everyone else isn’t going to help with that, it’s only going to make it worse by putting additional strain on services. I’m sorry that you look down on the people living in your area so much but it doesn’t make it ok to want to confine them indoors. You of all people should know how horrible that is.

Some people on here are literally insane. Joy sapping miseries. GOD DAMN YOU, PEOPLE, YOU MUST SUFFER. HOW DARE YOU FIND ANY PLEASURE IN YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW.

I bet they were out clapping like seals at 8pm despite being knobs.

Op you are working in a high stress environment and you haven't even got your family to go home to relax.

Stay off public social media, avoid the news it will only heighten your stress because the world is full of knobs right now.
People who clap at 8pm but don't appreciate what they are clapping for.

When you see them in A&E with the virus, just ignore them and let them die.

Fuck me. This is bringing out the very worst in people...you should be ashamed.

even reprobates benefit from sunshine and fresh air

Conversely, the mental health of the residents here would be improved if the same reprobates weren't allowed to roam around the streets.

This is just utterly ridiculous - let's all wait to see the news over the weekend eh? No doubt we'll see the reports of crowds in parks and at the seaside, followed by a rise in cases in two weeks time. But, who cares huh, so long as everyone can do exactly what suits them why care about the effect on public health?

Conversely, the mental health of the residents here would be improved if the same reprobates weren't allowed to roam around the streets.

If they're committing a crime whilst roaming the streets then report them...if not then I'm afraid that's just a part of life. They have as much right to live their lives as you do. I know it's hard to live around horrible neighbours but that's a completely different issue to coronavirus.

Oh that's hilarious. Yes, of course the police will be interested. They didn't attend when a neighbour had their car stolen from the driveway last week. Not going to bother about a gang of kids smoking weed and grafitiing are they?

Having spoken to a fair number of people who are struggling mentally due to being on their own, I wish more people had taken lockdown seriously and moved in together.

Hello Doof nice to see you on here again, sorry to hear you've been getting abuse but clearly the situation has brought out some people who do not understand what isolation means, I'd just ignore them and keep on doing what you do and I wouldn't let fb get to you my bird
Not good you're away from your little one after all you've been through with him and I think you're in a very difficult situation but have made your decision which you will have thought very carefully about so as I know you will always give your best I think you've done the right thing. It won't be forever you'll see him again soon so chin up maid and you will come out the other side.

Matt Hancock has said we can drive to go for a walk somewhere isolated. So glad for a bit of sanity.

I get the distinct impression that there are some people on MN (and elsewhere) who are really quite disappointed that the rules are pragmatic and that it's recognised that exercise that doesn't increase the risk of infection is in fact OK. It's quite an eye-opener about how things like fascism become acceptable.

By the same token, people with the opposite opinion aren't necessarily right either then.

It's not a matter of opinion, it's a matter of fact. People who live together are allowed to go out to kick a ball around, because it doesn't increase the infection risk, nor does it carry the risk of extending lockdown.

I don't see how playing football at the park is a good idea right now, regardless of whether technically it's allowed

Because it's good for people's physical and mental health.

It's not a matter of acting as if you're on holiday: frankly, a short kick-about can't equate to a holiday in anyone's book. And it's not about complying with the spirit of the law rather than the letter, because the spirit of the law is about preventing the spread of infection - and three people who live in the same household playing a bit of football together isn't going to spread any infection.

I feel as though I need to post the following guidance (inThe Guardian today) all over Mumsnet.

How do I tell someone they are not behaving safely?

Ask yourself first whether or not you are enjoying playing the world’s police officer a little bit too much. Delivery drivers and other essential workers report having been harassed in the street for being out, when they are on their way to work. It is much easier for some people to self-isolate than it is for others, and consider before you judge someone else’s behaviour the possibility that their situation is more complicated than you appreciate. There are very few circumstances in which upbraiding someone will be more effective for your safety than simply moving a bit further away from them.

People who live together are allowed to go out to kick a ball around, because it doesn't increase the infection risk, nor does it carry the risk of extending lockdown

But you are doing what posters on here always do - you assume that what these people will do will do is adhere to the rules and won't be tempted to forget them in the heat of the moment. MN has countless posts were people are reporting groups of teenagers, or children, meeting up, of neighbours having BBQs involving friends and family who don't live there, on Facebook last night my neighbourhood group was reporting multiple groups of people in our park, which is meant to be shut. So, assuming that a group of three or four people are just going out for a quick kick about, and won't be tempted to let anyone outside of their household join in, won't stop to talk to anyone, won't come within two metres of anyone else is just naïve.

It's not a matter of acting as if you're on holiday: frankly, a short kick-about can't equate to a holiday in anyone's book.

In my opinion, yes it is. The rule about exercise, I'm.sure, is meant to be a person on the move is running down the street, or cycling or walking. I'm sure it wasn't meant to mean a group of people, who live together, congregating in one area. Particularly in a park, others will see it and decide to do the same. It will encourage crowds, especially if the weather is as nice as is forecast for this weekend.

The footage of people at the beaches two weeks ago just proves this. I'm sure the individual families who went all intended to be the only ones there, were just going for some fresh air and exercise - look at the cumulative effect though.

Dont be ridiculous.

Somebody asking if its allowed are clearly aware of the rules we have and wanting to stick with them.

Because some people around you (or scattered across the country) arent paying attention to them. Doesnt mean everyone else doesnt give a shit.

Are you really comparing 3 housemates having a kick about to a house party.

Are you suggesting the house party was 3 peopl, wanting to stick by the rules but just let whoever turned up, into their house? On a whim?

I have had kick about my entire life. As a kids and adult. Mine and my best friends family played rugby, rounders and football in the field near ours last summer.

Only once did someone join in. A family we knew who were already there. If I was there with just dp and my kids and the same family asked, it would be 'no, cause Corona'

Why would you assume these 3 men, will break the rules? It's a bloody kick about, not the high tension of a premiership game where people get overwhelmed.

Those families at the beach could have left, if it was busy and they couldnt stay distant from each other.

These 3 housemates might leave if the park is busy.

The fact that some people arent paying attention to the rules, doesnt mean other people cant act within the rules....incase they get carried away.

Why would I assume that these men wouldn't follow the rules - experience!

Why do you assume that they definitely will follow the rules?

There aren't just a few people not following these rules. There are many. Let's wait and see what the weekend brings, though if the government have got any sense they'll be announcing complete lockdown tonight, with immediate effect to pre empt the numpties who will flood beaches and national parks over the weekend otherwise.

Those families at the beach could have left, if it was busy and they couldnt stay distant from each other

Yes they could have - but they didn't. Which proves my point - left to their own devices many people are incapable of exhibiting common sense. It's all " me,me,me" and "I want".

Why do you assume that they definitely will follow the rules?

So do you assume people in general just go round breaking the law....cause they get carried away. Do you always judge everybody, by assuming they will do something wrong.....even before they arent. Even when they show they are trying to remain inside the guidlines?

You seem to have had the worst experience of everything going.

It's really quiet here and in the nearest city. You seem to really impacted by media and what you are hearing about your local neighbourhood.

I havent seen any large groups for nearly 2 weeks. No house parties, no mass games of football.

Until someone does something wrong, you can not preemptively restrict them. The guidelines have been set. 3 housemates having a kick about is in those guidelines. Until (or if) the guidlines are changed, then it's not allowed.

You seem to assume the worst in people. Even when theres no evidence they are doing or even thinking of doing something wrong.