To wonder why I'm getting abuse?

[NewDOOFUSfor20]

I'm an A&E nurse, I have had to leave my DH and ds at home and move into accommodation as I pose a risk to them both. This was not an easy decision, I'm heartbroken as is my family, but it felt like I'm damned if I do damned if I don't.
Last night on a "spotted" page I follow on Facebook somebody wrote in to ask if them and their 3 friends that they are "spending isolation together" with could go to the park for a game of football. I asked them if they thought this was a holiday, I took that terminology as "spending Christmas together", and suggested playing their football game in the garden. Oh my god, the abuse I have been given! Apparently this is something I signed up for (bloody well didn't sign up to have to leave my family), I am part of the problem as I'm spreading this around, I'm "thick" because a game of football is a form of exercise and that is allowed under government guidelines, I'm bitter because they can spend time playing with their mates whereas I've walked out in my family.

I honestly don't get this. Spending isolation together makes it sound like they're not taking this seriously, football games are not essential (and are being dispersed by police). It's mainly 20-something men that have been abusive, not that that makes a difference I guess, and they have displayed an enormous lack of ignorance around the whole situation.

Do I deserve the abuse I've been getting? Should I have just stfu (I have barely commented on anything on Facebook because our trust are monitoring our social media). I just got annoyed that people are STILL disregarding the guidelines set out, if they continue to act like this then we will be facing similar measures to Spain and Italy where any outdoor exercise is forbidden.

I can't tell if you're being disingenuous. Are you confused about the emergency powers, or are you playing devil's advocate?

Whilst I feel for you OP, I'm afraid that you started the rudeness so cannot then complain that they were rude back.

Thank you for everything you are doing at work

I can't tell if you're being disingenuous. Are you confused about the emergency powers, or are you playing devil's advocate?

I'm not being disingenuous. There have been several threads on here where posters have published the legislation, outraged that the police were enforcing rules not backed up.in law.

Their view was if it wasn't in the law then we don't have to abide by it, so, for example the law does not prohibit driving for exercise or for any other reason.

The guidelines that the government have published, on advice of the CMO and CSO appear to be just that and not supported in law.

I'm following the guidelines however and assume that government would not have taken such drastic action as to pay most of us to stay at home, closed businesses, shut down cities, built huge hospitals and mortuaries without damn good reason. To the assert the right to go and play football really seems like a big "up yours" to all of the people who have sacrificed a lot in the fight to control this virus.

You cannot justify the country being effectively in lockdown, 20% of businesses closing every month, the economy tanking, thousands of people dying, drs and nurses seriously ill and dying and then assert that it's fine for groups to go and play team games at the park

No-one is saying it's fine to play team games, Hearhooves: you don't help your case by making things up.

But it is fine for three or four people who live together to have a kick about. Because all those things you write about relate to the overriding need to stop infection spreading, and having a socially distanced kick around is absolutely consistent with complying with that. You assume that no-one will be able to control themselves from making contact with strangers, but frankly that in itself is a ridiculous thing to say - because manifestly millions of people all over the country are doing precisely that. The fact that a few aren't doesn't change that fact. Your slippery slope argument applies equally to going out for any sort of exercise or shopping. Somewhere there has to be a balance.

If we are advocating doing personal risk assessments and deciding ourselves what the risk of infection is rather than following blanket rules

We aren't. Because there is no blanket or other rule against this type of activity. Again, you're making things up.

I'm following the guidelines however and assume that government would not have taken such drastic action as to pay most of us to stay at home, closed businesses, shut down cities, built huge hospitals and mortuaries without damn good reason.

Why would you assume this?

To the assert the right to go and play football really seems like a big "up yours" to all of the people who have sacrificed a lot in the fight to control this virus.

But it isn't. Because playing football in the circumstances proposed is absolutely consistent with that fight.

You seem to work on the basis that, because some people are dickheads, therefore there should be draconian rules in place that stop everyone carrying out risk-free activities in case they are tempted to join the idiots. If that were the case, in non C-19 times we would totally ban any sort of vehicular transport - but we don't, for obvious reasons.

The blanket rules are the four rules announced by the government.

In those, it says you can go out once a day for exercise - such as walking, running or cycling.

Nowhere does it say having a kick about in the park.

All of our local parks have been closed - why would that be? Same reason why a lot of London parks have been closed - because people were congregating in them and not following social distancing yet you are all insisting that only a few people aren't doing it. A few people wouldn't have needed all of the parks closing down would they?

In my area they've closed the parks, except they can't "close" them because they are wide open spaces so they've tried to put tape up etc - it's just been pulled down. The cafe in a local park has stayed open - picnic tables outside. The cafe insists it's open only for takeaways and the picnic tables don't belong to them so they can't stop people buying takeaway coffee and then sitting at the tables. It's a joke. But then you all come and defend it - only a few people doing it etc. No it isn't only a few people here. It's a joke here.

MarginalGain

Why would I assume that the chief medical and scientific officers have good reason to basically shut the country down?
Because why on earth would they do it? Why would France, Italy, Spain, Switzerland, Ireland do it? Do you not think there's a good reason then?

JudyCoolibar

So why has the government issued guidelines that exercise should be walking, running or cycling then? On what basis did they say that?

Why are other low risk activities not allowed? Why can't I visit my parents, in their garden say, if we maintain social distancing? Why can't I meet up with friends at the park, if we maintain social distancing?

Why are the shielded not allowed to go out even for a walk? If playing football is a risk-free activity then surely walking is also a risk-free activity, so why aren't we allowed to do it?

Being essential to me, and being essential are two entirely different things.

Not really.

Me going to my (empty) office yesterday to pick up everything I need, due to my whole team being furloughed (except me) was essential to me. You may think it wasnt, local police may think it's not. But I cant do other peoples jobs next week unless I have the stuff I went for.

So yes, people do have to judge for themsleves wether car journeys are essential or not.

You are saying yours is.

And there's another thread running where a poster asks for urgent advice - her adult daughter wants to return home. After much prompting it's because she doesn't like having to cook and clean and would like to be in a bigger house. So, no, asking doesn't prove that means people are responsible and doing the right thing.

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras that is absolutely not what that thread was about. That young woman has mental health issues and needs help. She wants to go home to her family, and if the choice is between that trip and her falling apart and needing hospital admission, I think her being driven down to her family is the right one. You are being entirely dishonest and disingenuous to describe the thread as being one about her not wanting to cook, FFS.

Why would I assume that the chief medical and scientific officers have good reason to basically shut the country down?

Don't you think a lockdown bears some kind of scrutiny? Do you normally just assume that the government is doing the right thing, even when exercising unprecedented emergency powers?

Why are the shielded not allowed to go out even for a walk? If playing football is a risk-free activity then surely walking is also a risk-free activity, so why aren't we allowed to do it?

What do you mean the sheilded are 'not allowed'. You have been advised. Not commanded.

Is someone checking all sheilded people? Or upon finding out someone is on the sheilded list, are they being ordered back home or issued a fine?

They actually weren't breaking the law, you could have 20 people enjoying a kick about in the park and still be in line with the law, providing they were from the same household.

I wonder how that well known very large family from the north west are coping with lockdown?

We've been asked to only travel.if going to.work, so I'm following the rules and up until a couple of days ago the police were enforcing this. That's why. Some of us are following the rules even if they are very tough, personally. You are making it up again. Matt Hancock, you know a govt minister, said on QT last night that it was OK to take a short drive to take exercise somewhere not crowded.

Shitsgettingcrazy

It being essential to you may, or may not mean it is considered essential.

We aren't being asked to only make journeys that we consider essential to us.

We are being asked to only make essential journeys.

May or may not be the same thing.

Just because you consider your journey essential doesn't make it so. If you run a nail salon, you going to pick up stuff from work isn't an essential journey.

You bring a leading scientist developing a vaccine for COVID19 and collecting research data to work from home - essential journey.

Just because you consider your journey essential doesn't make it so. If you run a nail salon, you going to pick up stuff from work isn't an essential journey.

There you go again. Please tell us why?

saraclara

No, initially the mum refused to give a reason sparking Anton of posters to decide that it was domestic abuse and so of course she must come home.

Much later mum comes back to say it's due to mental health - more people saying it's justified.

Then mum comes on to say her daughter wants to be in a bigger house, spend time with her sister and doesn't like having to cook and clean while her partner is at work and she is furloughed. Followed by the facts her daughter doesn't want to spend time with her partner, preferring not holiday with her parents rather than him, and won't be bothered about going back to him.once this is over but does however, expect him to do a four round trip to bring her home.

Most of the posters now don't believe that this is a mental health issue at all, including those who were sympathetic at the time.

So, my point stands. Asking whether you can do something doesn't mean that you are going to follow the rules

You are making it up again. Matt Hancock, you know a govt minister, said on QT last night that it was OK to take a short drive to take exercise somewhere not crowded.

I'm not making anything up. The government guidelines are linked at the top of this page.

And Matt Hancock said a lot of things on QT last night, including admitting that they aren't certain that people aren't contagious after seven days (when the president of the RCN challenged him) abd that they are considering issuing proof of immunity certificates and wrist bands once antibody tests are available. I'd take anything he says with a pinch of salt.

1. When am I allowed to leave the house?

You should only leave the house for very limited purposes:

shopping for basic necessities, for example food and medicine, which must be as infrequent as possible

one form of exercise a day, for example a run, walk, or cycle - alone or with members of your household

any medical need, including to donate blood, avoid or escape risk of injury or harm, or to provide care or to help a vulnerable person

travelling for work purposes, but only where you cannot work from home

Here we are @1forsorrow the official government guidelines. Please point out where I'm lying by saying we may only travel for work?

The government grasps that people will invariably have tasks during lockdown that will require travel. For example: executing contracts, banking, dealing with a lost key, taking a dog for emergency treatment, and so on.

I would think this is quite obvious.

None of which are "travelling for exercise".

Still waiting for you to answer why I'm wrong to assume that the government have good reason for doing this?

I have answered.

The government have said it's fine to travel for exercise. If you want to disregard it on the basis that you think Hancock is an idiot, go right ahead.

You don't deserve this at all. Don't ever have anything to do with these people again. Come off Facebook, or better still deactivate it, you don't need it. Or just block them. I hope you are back with your family soon, we appreciate everything you have done and continue to do, without you all me and thousands of others wouldn't even be here. Stay safe x

Try Instagram instead, much nicer I think. Get rid of Facebook, it just brings you down. Read books, paper yourself if you can and find online games and quizzes when you are not working,x

OP ignore the abuse, they are thoughtless idiots. I for one are thankful and humbled by the sacrafices you and your colleagues are making.