To wonder why I'm getting abuse?

[NewDOOFUSfor20]

I'm an A&E nurse, I have had to leave my DH and ds at home and move into accommodation as I pose a risk to them both. This was not an easy decision, I'm heartbroken as is my family, but it felt like I'm damned if I do damned if I don't.
Last night on a "spotted" page I follow on Facebook somebody wrote in to ask if them and their 3 friends that they are "spending isolation together" with could go to the park for a game of football. I asked them if they thought this was a holiday, I took that terminology as "spending Christmas together", and suggested playing their football game in the garden. Oh my god, the abuse I have been given! Apparently this is something I signed up for (bloody well didn't sign up to have to leave my family), I am part of the problem as I'm spreading this around, I'm "thick" because a game of football is a form of exercise and that is allowed under government guidelines, I'm bitter because they can spend time playing with their mates whereas I've walked out in my family.

I honestly don't get this. Spending isolation together makes it sound like they're not taking this seriously, football games are not essential (and are being dispersed by police). It's mainly 20-something men that have been abusive, not that that makes a difference I guess, and they have displayed an enormous lack of ignorance around the whole situation.

Do I deserve the abuse I've been getting? Should I have just stfu (I have barely commented on anything on Facebook because our trust are monitoring our social media). I just got annoyed that people are STILL disregarding the guidelines set out, if they continue to act like this then we will be facing similar measures to Spain and Italy where any outdoor exercise is forbidden.

LotsaDo

Because many people are sheep. We saw it a couple of weekends ago. We had all been told what was on the horizon, what we needed to do - social distancing - and what would happen if we didn't do it - NHS overwhelmed, people dying, lockdown imposed and yet people flocked to the seaside and treated it like a bank holiday.

The public has to understand the seriousness of this. Number of cases rose by over a thousand yesterday,the biggest rise so far.

Encouraging groups over to a public space is going to encourage more people to go and that's the opposite of what they want.

Look at Italy and Spain they've now stopped all exercise and restricted shopping to one person per household because people just wouldn't take it seriously enough to control the spread.

No you didnt deserve any of that op. The normal people of this world are incredibly grateful to you for all that you're doing, including being apart from your family.
Please have nothing to do with those people again.
I wish you well & hope that you stay safe and are protected at work.

People know that we aren't 'on holiday.'

Not round here they don't. Groups of teens over the parks, kids playing out in our street. It is exactly like a normal school holiday here.

Is your street the entire country? No.

Funny you're posting about kids over the parks. A few days ago you were posting about the parks near you all being closed due to COVID. Till people who were actually there and not taking their info from Twitter or FB told you they weren't.

Same as you posting about what the Police can do/are doing from Twitter posts till people told you it was bollocks and on and on.

People seeing them are likely to go to the park for fun, rather than exercise God forbid that anyone should have fun. People enjoying themselves just encourages the virus, if we are all miserable enough it will go away.

Well named welldonejean.

NewYearNewJob123

My husband is still out at work every day, driving through many areas. He's been taking photos and showing them to me, increasingly exasperated.

And the parks are closed, I didn't say they were open I said lots of people are in them.

People seeing them are likely to go to the park for fun, rather than exercise

It's going to take years to repair the cultural wasteland that awaits us on the other side.

What on earth has happened.

God forbid that anyone should have fun.

No one is saying you can't have fun. I just don't see why having fun has to involve going to a public place or encouraging lots of other people to go to public spaces.

Do you want the lockdown lifted? Is that what you're trying to achieve? Do you want them to just let the virus spread? Because I can't see how anyone who wants it controlled can be advocating for people to go out to public spaces and prolong their stay.

I just don't see why having fun has to involve going to a public place

Well, seeing as I don't have a garden, for me having fun outside will have to be in a public place. Believe me, inside isn't particularly fun at the moment with a toddler bouncing off the walls. Playing football as a family isn't in any way encouraging others to go to public spaces. Anyway, we're all still allowed to go out. You don't have to agree with that, just as you don't have to go out at all. Just let everyone else get on with their own exercise.

I'm allowed to have a view on people doing things that will prolong this horror.

I would like some semblance of normality to return to my life - you know, like being able to walk outside my door, see my children, sleep in the same bed as my husband. That won't be happening for a long time for me and the longer others search for loopholes or insist on following the letter of the law rather than the spirit of the law, the longer people like me will remain on house arrest.

It’s actually a really good thing that people are taking care of their mental health by going into lockdown with their friends and playing diverting games. I appreciate that you are having a hard time but expecting everyone to be scared and miserable the whole is just going to make the situation much much worse. The psychological risks of this period are immense, the last the we need as a society is people having mental breakdowns resulting in short term strain on essential services like the NHS or the police or developing long term mental health issues which won’t help in our recovery from this outbreak. People need to stop telling people off for taking care of their mental health. Mental health matters.

the longer others search for loopholes or insist on following the letter of the law rather than the spirit of the law
Oh ffs there’s absolutely nothing wrong with the rules as they are that people can exercise outdoors with their household. People who are going to break the rules by mixing households will do so regardless of whether the rules get stricter

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras not everyone has a private garden and not going outside at all is difficult. I’m in quarantine at the moment and not allowed outside at all. My windows don’t open and I have not fresh air. It’s not pleasant but it’s not for long, it’s inhuman to expect people to do it for extended periods of time though.

@Reginabambina

You have zero proof that this group in the op is playing football to help their mental health.

They might just be going to be a nuisance.

And you do realise that those of us being shielded can't go outside, at all, for a minimum of three months?

I'm tired of hearing posters saying that they can't possibly stay indoors whilst simultaneously causing people are shielded to not be able to go out for even longer.

The longer this goes on, the longer some of us will have to be trapped indoors and distanced even from the people we live with.

Those going out more than necessary, doing things that increase the spread of this are forcing others to be stuck indoors even longer.

I can't do anything to affect this. All I can do is sit and watch those who could be doing something, refuse because it's not against the law.

You have zero proof that this group in the op is playing football to help their mental health.

Newsflash. Exercise and fresh air and friends are essential for optimal mental health.

"Football is not on the list of daily exercise. Police all over the country have been breaking up football games, parks are supposed to be out of bounds."

There is no list of permitted exercise. They could do any sport at all as long as they are from the same household. Police have been stopping it if it's a big crowd or they arent from the same household.

You have zero proof that this group in the op is playing football to help their mental health.

Actually there is loads of “proof” that fresh air, socialising, physical activity etc.... is extremely beneficial for MH, and that’s not taking individual people or circumstances into consideration.

Since when has there been a list of permitted exercise?

OP, they shouldn't have been abusive but you were being a busybody. Im assuming that the 'thick' comment was in response to you getting your facts wrong, although they could have articulated it better.

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras it’s pretty well know that being outside is beneficial for mental health, as is playing games. Both provide good stress relief which is pretty important right now.

You are also mistaken that people going out will extend isolation for shielded groups. The quicker the virus spreads through the population the quicker it will all be over. Its not like it’s going to be eradicated. It’s actually the people following the lockdown rules that are extending your period of isolation if you really want to whine about someone.

Yeah, I really doubt that the reprobates parading round here in gangs, with their Stafford shire bull terriers, complete with thick dog leads slung around their necks, are out enjoying a constitutional for the benefit of their mental health.

We've got a skateboard ramp in our local park. It's become quite a focal point for groups of kids to congregate at, drinking - doubt they're doing it for fresh air to boost their mental health.

I wonder what the plan is to protect the mental health of the 1.5 million shielded people seeing as we can't get any fresh air or outdoor exercise for months? If it's that vital then presumably things are in place to help us?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/coronavirus/3869235-more-people-venturing-out-today

This is the way it's moving.

@NewDOOFUSfor20 💕. I’m sorry you’ve had to make the decision to stay away from home. We should be keeping you safer at work, so this isn’t necessary!

I agree with you that the sooner we properly lock down the better. Unfortunately the Govt have been playing down the fact it can hang in the air for 3 hours so going out more than absolutely necessary is inadvisable so people think it’s perfectly fine to be out exercising without tempering that urge with the need to stay in. in fact it’s been encouraged. It’s madness.

I think you possibly over reacted to the term ‘Spending isolation together’ a bit, but that’s understandable - entirely.

Stay safe 💕

You deserve a medal not abuse. My admiration knows no bounds.
Why waste a moments energy on these ignorant, nasty individuals who could no more do what you are doing than fly in the air.

I think people need to stop policing everyone else, it’s like school prefects have found their niche; dishing out rules and opinions.